


The Ghost of Sam-hood Past

by DeepLittleSOB



Series: Lizzy-verse [15]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angelic Possession, Childhood, De-Aged Sam Winchester, Demons, F/M, Hunters & Hunting, Pregnancy, Second Chances, Spells & Enchantments, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-21
Updated: 2015-03-21
Packaged: 2018-03-18 19:54:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 71,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3581865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeepLittleSOB/pseuds/DeepLittleSOB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A demon is out to get Sam Winchester... so just another day at the office.  But the way it goes after him certainly is unique this time.  </p><p>When a spell is put on Sam that returns him into his five year old body, the group needs to figure out how to return him and fast, especially when his five year old mind starts to show up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Well THAT Just Ain't Right!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fifteenth story in my series. Aww... ain't little Sammy cute!?
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I do not own or have the rights to anything of the Supernatural universe. I'm just playing in their sandbox.

* * *

Quietly making his way down the hall of the old, abandoned home, Sam clutches Ruby's knife hard as he listens for movement. She may have been a conniving, evil, lying bitch but her one weapon of choice has come in quite handy for years now. And when you're after a demon… a demon-killing-knife seems to do just the trick.

He hears a couple soft footsteps from the end of the hallway and he pauses to strain his ears for more sound. Looking towards the room with an open door ahead of him, once a bedroom he thinks, Sam carefully and silently makes his way. When he reaches the doorframe he peeks his head in. The walls are peeling with old, yellowed wallpaper and there's debris and leaves everywhere. The broken glass pane of the window across the room allows for the sound of the squealing wind to come through when it blows and he thinks maybe that's what he heard. The room is empty as far as he can see.

Just to be sure he whips open the closet door on a silent three count, aiming the knife in front of him. Inside is just some more leaves and disappointment.

He's at a dead end. Hopefully Dean's had better luck once they split up to cover the house more quickly and he found some sign of the bitch in the basement. They know she's here. They tracked her down with Bobby and Bobby hardly ever fails them.

Turning to leave, he abruptly stops. The door to the small room slams shut before he can even get close to it and reveals the demon standing behind it, dark black and smiling eyes boring into him.

Behind the damn door, Winchester! Fuck! He's so much better than this!

"Hello there, Sam," she smiles, black studded leatherjacket-clad arms crossed as she sizes him up. Her confident body language shows no fear nor worry. Sam takes a ready stance and aims the blade at her. "Oh, put the damn blade down, would you? I don't want to hurt you. You can calm down."

"Yeah right. Dean!" Sam shouts while staring right at her. "Up here!"

The demon sighs with instant frustration. "Guess we have to move this along then, huh? I mean God forbid you leave your insane dependence on your bother out of something just once…"

She quickly rattles off some Latin words and holds a hand palm-out to him. Before Sam can do anything about it a bright white light pushes forth from her hand and hits Sam square in the chest out of nowhere. He flies backwards through the air and hits the wall behind him hard, back first. He then crashes onto the floor. He can hear heavy-booted footsteps running up the staircase frantically once the loud crash could be heard.

"Sam!?"

He can hear his name called with panic along with heavy pounding on the door.

"Dude! Open up!"

Sam shakes his head a bit to clear the clouds settling over him with the blow as he lies on his back. When he looks up he watches as the demon walks over to stand by him, her form unfocused. She smiles down to him, suddenly looking a whole lot bigger than he remembers her being just seconds before.

"I'll be seeing you real soon, little Sammy," she says with sheer adoration as she touches his hand. "I promise you." She then places the palm of her hand on his cheek, looking at him with such love that it freaks him out.

With that she smokes out, the black cloud filling the ceiling, swirling in circles before leaking out through the broken window. The now lifeless body the demon had been riding drops to the floor like a sack of potatoes, the woman's form in a crumpled heap.

The second the black fog is gone Dean busts down the door as it finally gives way. The unmoving girl in the middle of the floor blocking his way is what he can quickly assess first. He bends down and checks the pulse at her neck but she's gone. Fucking demons. They're so wasteful.

Dean then stands to get to his brother but when he looks over at him he stops short with shock.

When he looks at Sam with horrified eyes the younger hunter gets worried. Very worried. His brother never does that unless something is  _very_ wrong. It's rare these days the Dean's Sitting up on the dirty floor, Sam has to ask, "Dean, what is it?"

The sound scares the life out of him. His voice is not his own. It isn't the heavy, deep booming it usually is. Instead it's higher, smaller, and it echoes in his ears very oddly. As if to test it Sam speaks again. "Dean?"

"Holy shit," Dean whispers mostly to himself as he gawks at his brother with the sudden change in him.

The continuing fear Sam reads off of Dean makes him truly fall into a real panic… the kind that hunters don't let consume them while on the job. Sam does much better than this usually but not right now.

Sam looks down at himself and inhales sharply once before huffing out a panicked breath at what he sees.

"Oh… wha… uh."

Words fail him when he gets a look. The sudden urge to cry... or maybe scream… hits like a freight train.

What he sees is not his body. Sam's a big dude, coming in at six foot six and being a wall of muscle. He's used to being of a certain intimidating stature, something that comes in handy while being a hunter… but right now he's looking down at the body of a small child cloaked in the clothes of a giant. He lifts his short, skinny arm and the weight of his heavy canvas jacket pulls it right down. He drops his limb into his lap that he can't see under the tent of massive fabric and looks back to Dean, his eyes about to pop out of his head.

"That's not…" Dean shakes his head with eyes still glued on his little brother. "This can't happen."

"What the fuck is this!?" Sam shouts in his childish tone, looking for his all-knowing older brother for answers like he always has when this frightened. Dean will make this better. He always makes it better… right?

"I..." Dean tries to start but he just can't speak. The little kid in front of him is his brother. He's seen him like this before, when he was about five. This is exactly how he looked, shaggy hair and all. "This, uh, this is... fuck, man. I don't know what this is." He washes a hand down his jaw with shock and confusion.

"I'm small," Sam states too calmly amidst the current situation.

"Yeah," Dean breathes out in still running disbelief.

"Am I a fucking kid!?" Sam flips a switch and screams with fear in his young voice as Dean thinks in any other situation a kid saying that would be hilarious. But right now it's not funny at all. It's the scariest damn thing he's seen or heard in a long time.

Shaking off the initial shock, Dean heads back into hunter and big brother mode when the icy stab of fear really hits him. If Sam's this small he's also weak… and very,  _very_ vulnerable. That realization alone puts him into action.

"We gotta get the hell outta here," he says while marching over to Sam swiftly and with sheer determination. "There could be more on the way."

"Maybe we should wait," Sam theorizes quickly, hugging his clothing into him closely when they no longer fit him at all. They're huge.

"You freakin' nuts?" Dean says with shock at the idea as he closes the space between them. "We'd be sitting ducks."

"But they might have answers for us."

"No way. You're in no shape to fight. We gotta tuck tail and run on this one… not taking any chances," Dean immediately denies as he bends down to pick up his small brother.

"The hell are you doing, Dean!?" Sam asks with anger as Dean tries to bundle him up in his far took big clothing.

"We gotta move and your freakishly long legs aren't freakishly long anymore " he quickly explains as he hoists Sam up and tucks him under his arm like he used to do years and years ago. "Now's not the time to bitch."

Sam instantly concedes, knowing Dean can move faster than him and he couldn't keep up right now. They head for the bedroom door and Sam shouts, "The knife! Dean!"

Backtracking a step, Dean ducks down and scoops up the knife in his hand that isn't clutching his little brother. He tucks it into his jacket before grabbing Sam's Taurus off the floor. He puts it in the back of his pants next to his own Colt and they then book it out of the house, Dean's arms too tightly around Sam as the panic hits. This suddenly feels a lot like the fire when they were children, Dean carrying his Sammy to safety. He was completely frightened then and he's completely frightened now.

That thought disappears when the unreality of the situation smacks him in the face. What the fuck just happened? He's holding his little brother that's normally bigger than him easily in one arm. Fuck! This is so not good.

Once outside they head for the Impala. Dean finagles his keys from his pocket while still clutching his precious little cargo. He unlocks the driver's side back door and shoves Sam into it.

"The back seat?" Sam complains instantly while wrapping his humongous jacket around his frame. His jeans fell off the second Dean let go of him and they lay on the floor of the car so he needs to cover up somehow.

"Kids can't ride in the front. Unsafe," Dean simply logics without really thinking, his fatherly instincts already running, as he jumps behind the wheel. He revs the engine and peels out of the driveway, ready to ditch any possible threat still lingering there.

He just needs to get Sam somewhere safe. They can figure out the rest after that.

* * *

It took about twenty minutes of barreling down the highways towards Bobby's before either brother had the balls to speak first.

Dean just simply doesn't know what to say. There is nothing he could do or tell Sam to make this seem alright. As he drives he just keeps peering into the rearview mirror at his tiny brother, trying desperately to come to terms with the situation, while Sam repeatedly studies himself.

It's instinct. When something's happened, something new presents itself, something unfamiliar is at hand, Sam always researches and scrutinizes and over-thinks. This situation is no different, even if  _he_  is the thing to be studied.

He looks at his hands that are just so small. He could never hold his Taurus with one hand at this point… probably not with both hands either. He feels his face, his cheeks suddenly chubbier. His features had thinned out and sharpened as he grew older but that's all gone now. He can feel that his hair is shorter now too. It's still longer than his father liked him to keep it but it isn't to the length he's been at for years now. His arms and legs are no longer lanky. Instead they're shorter and without any muscle tone at all… just leftover baby fat and skin and bones.

At one point Sam shed the heavy brown jacket that was absolutely weighing him down and wrapped himself up in the blue flannel he'd put on that morning. Curled up in a ball inside the billowing fabric, he finally looks up and meets Dean's eyes through the rearview mirror for the first time since he'd been thrown into the Impala.

"This is fucked up."

"I know," Dean nods right back.

"No, seriously, Dean," he repeats in his child-like voice. "This is so fucked up. I've never seen anything like this."

"Right there with ya'," Dean assures him. "But don't panic yet. We've been down roads like this before and we found our way out."

"When have we ever been down a road like this before!?" Sam challenges right away.

"Dude, I was a chick for, like, two days," Dean reminds him, hoping to calm his nerves a little. "And I got through it. We'll get back and get on this. I'm sure there's an answer." He pauses with uncertainty. "Bobby'll know what to do."

"Unless he doesn't," Sam answers right back with anxiety in his tone.

"He will."

"But what if he doesn't?" Sam keeps challenging, his uncertainty and fear killing him. "The man knows a lot but he doesn't know everything."

"He might know about this," Dean keeps his voice calmer. "Let's just get back and find out before we freak out over this."

"Too fucking late," Sam grumbles. Sure, he's not raging out and yelling. That's always been Dean's immediate way of freaking out. Sam kept it more contained. Just because externally he seemed fine enough didn't mean that internally his heart wasn't racing a mile a minute though. He's frightened to the core by this.

"Hey," Dean calls out when he can see the anxiety steadily rolling through Sam's brain. He can read his brother like a book and he's losing it. "I'm not letting whatever this is get you. I got your back. Like always."

Sam nods, swallowing hard as a lump in his throat forms. Why did that just happen? With all Sam has seen in life he's never defaulted to sadness and crying so easily. He feels like sobbing over this when the fear becomes so strong.

"You hear me?" Dean asks as Sam never answered him.

"Yeah," Sam manages out just barely and the tone worries Dean. When he looks back be catches his suddenly small brother wiping his eyes with the oversized sleeve of his shirt.

Dean's heart drops when he sees that. Sam's truly scared this time and there isn't much he can do about that. All he can do is reassure him and drive faster to their safest place on Earth.

"We're gonna figure this out, Sam," he says once more. "Me, Bobby, Lizzy... We're on your side. You're gonna fine just like always."

Dean prays that he isn't lying to his brother.

* * *

 


	2. Onions are Gross

* * *

Dean didn't call ahead to warn Bobby and Lizzy about what's happened. He didn't want to do that, talk about Sam like that while he was within earshot and losing his cool in the backseat. Instead they arrive a little more than two hours later and Dean prepares to just pummel his family with the news.

He opens the Impala's heavy back door for Sam once they park outside Bobby's house.

"You ok?"

"Fantastic," Sam caustically replies in his young, childlike voice as he jumps down from the car's seat. His bare feet, bare because his shoes and socks fell right off his so small feet when Dean first picked him up in the abandoned house, land hard on the gravelly driveway, a sharp rock poking his right foot. "Damn it," Sam complains and hops onto his unhurt foot with the small pain in his sole. Hearing damn it from such a young child makes Dean smile but after a split second he drops it. He doesn't want Sam to see him enjoying his unfortunate situation in life right now.

"Shit, come here," Dean says once the smirk is gone and once more picks Sam up, sitting him on his hip.

"This is so fucking embarrassing," Sam says as his little fingers come up to cover his eyes in shame. He hates this so much it hurts.

Dean knows what an ego blow this is for Sam. Out of the two of them Sam has always,  _always_  been the independent one. Even though Dean did most things for him growing up he never stopped fighting his big brother every step of the way. He wanted to tie his shoes without help at the age of four. Sam was even determined to fix his own breakfast and pick out his own clothes before most kids could have cared less. Helping Sam with things such as walking across a dirt driveway is killing the guy right now, Dean's more than aware, but Sam won't get hurt, not even by a rock, if he has anything to say about it.

"Suck it up," Dean tries the tough, manly response as he marches into the side door of Bobby's with a bundled-up-in-a-huge-flannel kid sitting on his hip.

"Easy for you to say, jerk," Sam tells him while pulling the shirt up to cover his face in total embarrassment.

"Don't be such a bitch, huh?"

* * *

"Don't be such a bitch, huh?"

Lizzy hears Dean clearly ribbing Sam once the side door opens. She mutes the TV and a smile paints itself across her face. Her boys are home. This will never fail to make her happy even when they've been gone for as little as a few hours. Her hands come to her hugely protruding stomach with excitement for daddy to be back home safe.

"Hey," she immediately greets when Dean comes into the living room but when she sees the bundle tucked into his side along with his frantic, quick movements that smile is lost quickly. She sees the skinny legs and tiny bare feet dangling out of the plaid wrapped shirt and knows something is seriously wrong. "Dean!?" she panics out as he drops the kid that she can't really see next to her on the couch.

"We ran into a problem," he says to her as he stands back up, his hands on his hips.

"I can see that," she angrily returns, wondering why her husband is returning with a child in tow. Something must have gone really wrong. "You're kidnapping now?"

"Not exactly," Dean assures her. Lizzy shoots him a glance of disbelief.

"Who's the kid then?" she keeps asking with serious concern.

"Check 'em out," Dean says as he reaches out and pulls down the shirt covering his little brother's face.

One look at the little boy and Lizzy is backing away quickly with shocked fright, eyes about to explode and fear ruling her expression. This kid is no stranger and she knows that for sure the second she sees his face.

"Sam!?" she shouts to him while keeping her distance. Her back pressed to the arm of the couch farthest from the boy, she swallows hard as he answers.

"It's me," he sighs sadly and looks right at her. His eyes tell her the truth. No matter what age he is she will always know her Sam-I-Am from his eyes alone, the expressive nature within them so familiar to her.

"Oh my God!" she fears out. "What the hell is this!?"

"A demon," Dean tells her simply, keeping Sam's talking to a minimum. He doesn't seem to be in a super chatty mood right now. "We found one."

"And!?"

"And she did… whatever this is to him," Dean points to Sam.

"Oh, Sam," Lizzy coos as her heart drops with this insane moment. "Are you hurt?"

"No," he returns in a surly tone. "Just small."

Lizzy stares at him for a moment, her emotions compounding with her pregnancy hormones, and she can't stop her actions. Quickly she scoots across the couch and cups his tiny face, looking him over closely.

"This is crazy," she tells him quietly, a hand running through his shaggy hair with sheer love, her motherly instinct already coming through hard with only a month and a half left to her pregnancy. She's right in his face, checking him over too closely for comfort. "Honey, I'm so sorry."

"Lizzy... get off of me," his young voice says while annoyed by her in such a serious tone that's it's almost a threat. She listens of course and backs away hastily. Sam is clearly having a bad enough day. No need to make it worse for him.

"Sorry," Lizzy apologizes as she flattens her hands onto her stomach when she feels a bit embarrassed for her reaction.

Sam just sits and wraps the flannel closer around himself, the self-consciousness really killing him.

"What the fuck happened?" Lizzy asks Dean with wide, shocked eyes when the insanity hits her. "How'd the demon do this?"

"Don't wanna explain all this more than once," Dean says before shouting for Bobby loudly.

"He's outside walking Cass," she tells him and Dean's instantly running for the side door. As he calls out Bobby's name into the chilly air of early February, Lizzy reaches over to Sam cautiously. She offers her hand to him and he just stares at her for a split second. Reluctantly he drops his tiny palm into her open one, taking the comfort that she wants to give him. That lump in his throat returns when she squeezes his hand, his emotions really clobbering him in a way he doesn't know how to manage.

When Bobby finally makes his way back into the house he bends down to let Cass off his leash. The dog runs for Lizzy, sniffing at her belly as usual before investigating Sam a little. He leaves the little boy alone quite quickly when he recognizes his smell. He knows who it is, no matter what size.

"The hell is the problem?" Bobby asks Dean as he can't see the couch and its inhabitants behind the hunter.

"We ran into some trouble," Dean starts to explain.

"And I'm supposed to be surprised by this?" The sarcasm oozes from Bobby's mouth.

Dean sighs with his tone. "Just take a look," he comes right back with and turns to walk back into the living room

The second Bobby can see behind him his mouth drops open with shock. It may have been upwards of twenty years since he's seen Sam look this way but he'll never forget what he looked like as a child. That little boy, curled up in the corner of his couch in a shirt ten times too big for him is without a doubt Sam Winchester.

"What the hell..." Bobby trails off as he walks slowly into the room until he's standing in front of Sam. He stares hard at the boy that's hand in hand with Lizzy.

"Hi, Bobby," Sam says to him, his voice so downtrodden it hurt the older man's ears to hear.

"What is this?" he asks and bends down a bit to look closer at the kid. Sam shifts awkwardly in his seat with the scrutiny and Dean picks up on it right away.

"The work of that demon we were after," Dean explains as be grabs Bobby's shoulder and pulls him upright to give Sam some breathing room. "She cornered him and we think she used some spell or something to do this to him."

"She spoke Latin," Sam continues on, bundling himself tighter in the clothing without dropping the soothing feel of Lizzy's much larger hand wrapped around his. "I think I remember most of it. Can you write it down if I say it, Uncle Bobby?"

The three other people in the room sharply stare at the small boy with weird looks of sheer concern.

"Sam..." Dean starts, total worry in his voice. "We haven't called Bobby that in years. Since we were kids."

With much confusion Sam looks at his brother. "Call him what?"

"You just called Bobby 'Uncle Bobby'. We haven't said that since we were little," he repeats. "You ok?"

"I'm fine," Sam frustrates with sheer annoyance, not ready to look into the meaning behind that slip of the tongue considering the circumstances. "Everyone just..." He sighs with heavy frustration. "Can someone please write this down before I forget it!?"

"Yeah," Bobby nods and leaves to grab a pen and paper, completely irked by the mistake. He hasn't heard that name for himself since Dean stopped using it at around twelve years old, Sam quickly following suit as he wanted to always copy and be just like his older brother.

Everyone in the house feels the odd and uncomfortable concern that Sam's mistake creates but they choose to ignore it in favor of figuring the situation out first. They also just want to save Sam further discomfort in the moment.

"Ready," Bobby tells him as he takes a seat in his favorite upholstered chair, pad of paper and pen at the ready.

"Ok, it was something like... "

The Latin words spoken so clearly and expertly coming from such a small mouth feels just strange to the others in the rooms but at the same time not strange at all. This isn't a kid after all. It's a man trapped in a body that's much too young. It's still their Sam.

"Huh," Bobby hums as he looks the text over once Sam's done. "This ain't exactly what I was expecting to read here."

"How's that?" Dean asks with worry.

"Well, for starters there's no mention about age or youth in here. I was expecting some mention of that or maybe children but from what I can translate off the cuff I don't see anything like that."

"It's about purity," Sam says to the room with his same downtrodden and young tone. He's a smart man, a brilliant man really, and after growing up in this world the way he has with the sharp and brilliant mind he possesses he knows plenty of Latin, more than enough to get by.

"What, like, virginity?" Dean questions as he isn't getting the full picture.

"Like the dragons were looking for?" Lizzy adds on to the thought.

"Could be but..." Bobby starts to clarify but Dean cuts him off.

"Well shit, Sam. Lost it at five, huh? Color me impressed."

"No, asshat," Sam roll his eyes like always when Dean can't grasp something right away. "Like innocence. When you're a kid you have a very pure and unjaded view of the world. We lose that when we get older. I think the spell or whatever is about returning that childhood outlook."

"I think you're right, Sam," Bobby concurs with the idea once he gets a good look at the text a few times more. He can see how spot on Sam probably is on this one.

"So you think this demon wanted to re-instill your innocence?" Lizzy asks Sam as she keeps her much bigger hand firmly wrapped around his.

"That'd be my best guess. This seems like a useless plan otherwise."

"Why would a demon ever want to do that?" Dean interjects. "They thrive on corruption and evil and, no offense to you, Sammy, but you've done your fair share and you did it as an adult."

Sam just looks a Dean for a beat, wishing he could rebut that comment but he knows he can't. "Really kicking a guy when he's down there but yeah, I haven't been much of an angel."

"Like angels are any better…" Dean comments with anger.

"You're still a good person, Sam." Lizzy looks to him with nothing short of truth in her eyes. She means it completely. Sam is a good person. Everyone makes mistakes and he's paid for them. Over paid if you ask her.

"Not everyone would say the same," he grumbles and yawns something huge right after, feeling quite tired all of a sudden.

"You think maybe it could be to weaken you?" Dean wonders aloud. "I mean, hate to tell you but you're a hell of a lot less scary when you're about two feet tall. You're more adorable than intimidating."

"Shut up," Sam grumbles right back.

"I'm just saying that you're an easy target right now." This is where the fright really hits Dean. Thinking that his brother could be this vulnerable scares the ever living shit out of him.

"I guess... But if she wanted me dead that demon would have just attacked me when she had me cornered instead of do whatever the fuck this is," he explains as he lets go of Lizzy and gestures down to his tiny self. "I mean, why bother?"

"Good point," Lizzy mentions, her hands folded on top of her belly. "Seems like a lot of work just to take down a Winchester. She could have just tried to off you right then." The end game that is very unclear in the moment scares her.

"I sure don't get it, not yet at least," Sam yawns again through the end of his statement.

"You tired?" Bobby asks the worn looking young man as he sees him succumb to stress and activity.

"I don't know how but yeah," Sam answers, feeling the fatigue settle into his tiny body far easier than it should for a seasoned, stay-up-for-several-days-in-a-row kind of hunter.

"It's probably the change," Lizzy tells him as she stands up with some struggle with her large size these days. Dean rushes to her to help her up, taking her hand and pulling. She just smiles at him quickly in thanks before returning to Sam. "Kids wear out faster than adults. I hate to do this to you but I think my shirts are all that will work for you right this second. I can grab one and you can pass out in the baby's room since it's protected to the nines right now. Nothing can get to you in there."

Sam just sighs and gets up from the couch, falling down a few inches until his little feet hit the carpet. "I need to start looking into this."

"We can do that," Bobby assures him, looking to give the overtaxed hunter a break. "You rest up and join us after getting some shut eye."

"No," Sam immediately denies and starts walking to the study, Cass following him with sheer curiosity and a wagging tail. The small boy has him fascinated as he is familiar but his physical appearance is baffling him.

"Sam, man," Dean starts to half whine, half command. "You're not gonna be any help if you're passed out and drooling all over the books. Just get some sleep first..."

"Is that what you would do?" Sam turns sharply and stares daggers into his brother that he has to look so high up to again for the first time since he was around ten. "Huh, Dean? You'd take a nap if you were suddenly like this?" He holds out his arms to his sides with frustration and then quickly snaps them back into himself when the huge flannel shirt starts to slip to the floor. He huffs in sheer anger and total frustration with everything.

And Dean certainly knows better than to challenge Sam and his determined ways right now. At least if he falls asleep at the book he can carry him to bed with ease.

"You're right," big brother easily concedes. "Have at. It's what I would do."

Shocked to have Dean give in so easily, Sam turns sharply and walks into the study.

The room then disperses. Lizzy heads up to her room to grab Sam a t-shirt that's form fitting on her non-pregnant body and can cover tiny Sam up right now, Dean heads to the kitchen for a very needed whiskey, and Bobby follows Sam into his study.

When Bobby gets there he sees Sam standing before one of his tall bookshelves, his neck craned all the way back to peer at the book he wants but can no longer easily reach.

"Demon dictionary?" Bobby asks him as he knows the book Sam wants already. It's been he and Sam's favorite reference for years now. If there's a demon that exists then the demon dictionary (as they affectionately call it) will have an entry on it.

"Yeah," Sam shies and looks down at his bare feet covered by the plaid fabric pooling around him.

"Here," Bobby says while pulling it from the top shelf, where Sam likes to keep it since the top shelf is at his abnormally high height. He then moves to hand the huge volume over but thinks twice before doing so, pulling it back away from Sam's waiting and outstretched hands. "Where you wanna settle in?"

"Just give me the book, Bobby," Sam demands and shakes his arms impatiently.

"It's just that it's a pretty heavy book..."

Before Bobby can finish his statement Sam snatches the book angrily out of his hands. Instantly the heavy volume hits the wooden floor with a loud thud as Sam's small arms couldn't support the weight.

"Damn it!" Sam young voice shouts with hatred and in a flash Dean is in the study.

"What happened?" he worries and looks at Sam. The sound and curse words made him panic.

"Nothing, Dean. Jesus, calm down," Sam bitches and drops his small body onto the floor right where the book is, deciding to screw everyone else and get to reading. He isn't gonna just depend on everyone else because he's a midget. He's still himself.

* * *

Two hours later Lizzy nudges her husband as he's sitting next to her on the cot in Bobby's library. When he looks up from his own large dusty volume she nods across the room. He follows her eye line to find Sam lying on his stomach, arms folded under his chin and head resting on a book as he's sound asleep with his giant shirt pooled around him.

"He lasted longer than I thought he would," Dean comments as he gets up and drops his book in his seat.

"Poor thing must be wrecked," Lizzy comments as she looks over at him with worry and love.

"Speaking of wrecked, it's your bedtime too," Dean tells her and holds out his hand to her. He's had to be on top of her about her sleep patterns and making sure she's well rested at all times. Usually she fights it and stays up to help out. "Come on. Let's go, momma."

"Hey, you may be a dad soon but you ain't my dad," she points out with a smile but takes his hand anyways. He pulls her up and she leans into him for a second. "I am tired though."

"I know," he tells her, a kiss to the cheek. Sam might be in trouble but he still never gets to see much of his pregnant wife, especially with the Mother of All crap ramping up like it has been lately. Lizzy's still his priority and when he has the chance to take care of her like she deserves he's sure going to take it.

Dean then walks to Sam's sleeping form and bundles the small man up in the flannel he refused to exchange for a girl's t-shirt. He picks him up with ease, something he hasn't done in years. Sam's head lolls back for a second before Dean can readjust him in his arms, supporting him better so that he doesn't wake him up. Sam makes a quick sigh in his sleep but doesn't wake. It makes Dean smile a bit involuntarily. He let himself forget about these days when they were younger and the reminder is pretty nice.

Dean takes him to the room on the second floor that's been designated for the baby due in just weeks from now. The big double bed is still in there in the corner of the nursery and Dean quickly tucks Sam in, bringing the blanket up to his small little chin. He then runs a hand over his little brother's shaggy head with worry and care before he feels Lizzy press up against his side.

"What the hell do we do about this?" she asks him as they both watch Sam get situated a little, snuggling into the pillow before going still.

"We get the demon bitch that did this to him," Dean darkly answers while keeping his voice low for Sam's sake. "If she can shrink him then she can put him right back to gigantor size."

"What if she doesn't?"

"She will," he threatens with fury buried deep. "I'll make sure of it."

Lizzy sighs a bit, knowing the ire that arises in either brother when the other is threatened. She's pretty sure he's speaking of torture and that's not something she's ready for him to get into again. They'll cross that bridge when they get there.

"You know I don't want to with his current shadiness but we could always ask Cass for some help," she suggests, knowing how helpful the angel could be… even if she's still mad as hell at him for his dishonesty over her son's destiny and his odd behavior as of late.

"I already tried," Dean tells her sadly. "Did it when I ran to the car to get some things. Something's up with him... besides the Raphael shit he's dealing with." Dean sighs heavily while looking at his little brother. "You should try him." He looks to her to see if she'd be willing to try.

"Only for Sam." She smiles calmly to him, always ready to help even if it's an ego blow.

"Tomorrow though," he tells her. "You should get some sleep in first."

"Yeah, ok. Let's leave him," Lizzy says as she takes his hand. "Come tuck me in now before you head back into the books."

He answers by leading her out of the room and into their own next door. As much as the nursery has changed this one hasn't at all. It's still bare bones but it has their bed and she needs her rest these days. Stuff for their son who will absolutely have a real and normal life as much as they can provide for him is much more important to them anyways.

"How you holding up?" Dean asks her as he pulls the blankets back for her to get in.

"Just fine as always, dear" she tells him jokingly while climbing slowly up and onto the mattress, the task harder by the day. "Feeling tired all the time and super emotional. And I think I've eaten Bobby out of house and home, but I'm dealing." She lays back and pulls the covers over her. Looking up at his stressed face she sighs. "I miss you."

"I know," he assures her as he sits on the edge of the mattress next to her after being gone for two weeks. "The second that Mother of All bitch is dead and we can live in a safe world for our son you know I'm coming home for good."

"I can still miss you in the meantime," she points out in a friendly challenge.

Dean's face shifts from worried to pained with the comment.

"I love you and I know you're doing all of this for us. Don't look so upset."

"I just wanna be there for you guys," he tells her in complete earnest.

"And by killing Eve's ass you  _are_  being there for us. You're already the best dad that has ever existed." She drops a hand on his exhausted cheek and his eyes flutter closed for a second. "Lay down with me until I fall asleep?" She wants that, she misses that when he's gone, but really it's a ploy. He needs at least a nap judging by his sunken dark circled eyes and his attitude shift. He gets surlier when tired and downstairs he was getting quite short with Bobby, a surefire sign of hunter fatigue.

"Yeah," Dean agrees after a moment of contemplation and kicks his boots off. Lizzy opens the blankets for him and rolls over to her other side. Dean moves in right against her back and brings his arm around her, his hand pressing against her stomach.

As if their son knew his dad was back, he picks a hell of a time to give Lizzy a good few kicks.

She smiles and she picks up Dean's hand, moving it immediately to press it into her lower left side of her belly so he could feel it.

She can hear Dean sigh with nothing but sheer love from behind her as he presses his hand to her, absorbing every thump. "Still so awesome."

They lay there still as statues, afraid to disrupt and change the situation. Dean doesn't want this to end. Lizzy has felt their son every day for months now, even discovered she has a little bit of a weirdo link to him through the Nephilim genes, but Dean's been on the outside. Dads get a few kicks here and there when they catch it and that's about it but when Sammy gets active he feels a lot more included in it all.

"Fuck, I love that," Dean says with a soft smile into her hair as he kisses the back of her head. It makes his heart jump to experience this.

"Glad someone does," Lizzy laughs quietly, having been getting beat up from the inside out far too often. "He's so your son."

"Damn straight," he smiles more while already drifting off after only grabbing a couple hours sleep in nearly three days. "Little Sammy's a fighter."

Lizzy just smirks a bit. Her Sammy sure is. She's dying to meet him and every time he moves around she gets more and more anxious for that day.

* * *

"Mornin', sunshine," Lizzy whispers as she rubs his upper back to wake him up slowly and without alarm.

The gruff grumble she gets in response makes her laugh as she watches him start to rouse.

"The hell time is it?" he wonders, lifting his head off the old wooden desk to look around bleary eyed. The sun is lighting up the study so he knows it's later than he'd want it to be.

"A little after ten," Lizzy giggles, leaning down with a hand to his shoulder to pull a small scrap of paper off the cheek he fell asleep on. "Here." Scooting the hot mug of coffee she made towards him, Bobby immediately grabs it and takes a big sip.

"You forgot the whiskey."

"No I didn't," she winks at him. She's been trying to get him to cut back on his morning drinking a little at a time. "And I also won't forget to cook a nice breakfast either. I just wanna check on Sam and leave him some clothes first."

"You went out already?" Bobby asks, rubbing his eyes as he leans back in his chair.

"Ah, yeah," she says to him as she picks up a bag from the kitchen and walks back to him. "Dean and I both did. Grabbed some food as it was getting sparse around here and then picked up some clothes for Sam that will fit for now."

"You get any cute little teddy bears or duckies?"

"It's bad enough for the poor guy as it is," Lizzy denies. "I got him plain clothes, not much unlike what he already wears every day… just way, way smaller."

"Maybe when you go up there he'll be big again?" Bobby says with high hopes.

"And maybe I'll win the lottery tomorrow and L here will suddenly be into threesomes every day," Dean answers as he walks into the room, grabbing his book from last night off the cot as he prepares to pick up where he left off. "We already looked in. Sleeping like a baby but he's still not his massive self."

"Well then, guess it's back to putting our heads in the books… unless you wanna give that trench coated angel friend of yours a call." He looks at the two of them with a face that says they better do it.

"No luck," Lizzy tells him. "I tried when I woke up first thing this morning and Dean already tried yesterday. He's just not answering."

"You  _both_  sucked up your pride like that?" Bobby wonders with surprise.

"Hey, the family that prays together…" Dean remarks, opening his dusty volume to the page he last read through.

"And he still didn't answer…. Huh," Bobby says, unsure of what to make of that. "Damn, he might actually be busy like he claims."

"Eh, maybe," Lizzy stubbornly dismisses the angel with her still-running anger with him. "I'm gonna leave this upstairs for when Sam wakes up. Then I'll make some breakfast."

"Deal," Dean answers without looking up.

Making her way quietly up the stairs, Lizzy pushes open the door to the nursery very slowly. Peering in she can make out the small lump under the covers, all balled up and unmoving aside from the steady and slight rise and fall of even breathing. He's somehow still asleep.

"Poor guy," Lizzy whispers to herself, knowing how wrecked he has to have been through the fear and his recent rash of hunts paired with the actual change he's gone through itself.

Working quickly so as not to disturb him, Lizzy picks through the four or so outfits-worth of clothing she purchased for him. Across the floor she sets out everything so that he can chose for himself. She's not about to mother him to death by picking his clothing out for him, even if her instincts are screaming for her to do so. She will  _not_  treat him differently. Sam is still a full grown man.

Placing the package of socks on the floor next to some Converse-style sneakers, Lizzy pauses to look everything over. She scans it all with her hands on her hips and sees plaids, solids, denim, canvas… she did well if she does say so herself.

Pulling her out of the moment is the sound of a sniffle. It's small and almost silent. Untrained ears may have missed it all together but not Lizzy.

She turns sharply to look at Sam. When she does she sees the little-sized boy sitting up in bed with a scared expression. His knees are drawn in and he has the blanket pulled up tight under his chin, the flannel from yesterday still over his shoulders and massive on him.

What truly breaks her heart though is the two trails of tears, one on each cheek, glistening with the late morning sun coming through the un-shaded window.

"Sam?" Lizzy questions instantly and takes a step in his direction. That one movement closer to him has Sam immediately scooting back until he hits the wall behind the bed. "You ok?"

"Where's Dean?" his tiny, trembling voice questions her.

"Dean's downstairs with Bobby," Lizzy tells him with confusion running very high.

"Who are you?" he questions her next, the scared look still in his eyes.

"What!?" Lizzy punches out the question with new fright.

"I want Dean," he says, starting to cry for real. He hides his face in his blanket and tries to escape from her.

"Sam, what's going on?" Lizzy asks very softly, walking to the bed and cautiously taking a seat on it, leaving a couple feet between them so as not to scare him anymore. "Do you know who I am?"

"No," his muffled voice answers while speaking through the thick fabric.

Her heart sinks with this. Why wouldn't Sam know her? And why is he crying?

"I'm Lizzy. You don't remember me at all?" she tries again. Sam peeks up from his comforter and looks her over. He then shakes his head no. "You have no idea who I am?"

Once more he shakes no.

"Ok," Lizzy nods and smiles despite the fear gripping her hard. "Well, I'm friends with Dean and Bobby, kiddo. Very good friends. You can trust me."

He just stares at her with still running skepticism.

His reaction to her, his words, his fright… something dawns on her.

"Sam… how old are you?"

A slow hand comes up above the blankets. He stretches his fingers wide and answers her silently.

"Five?" Lizzy makes sure, her heart pounding a mile a minute.

He nods slightly, answering once more without words before wiping the tears from his face with the comforter.

"You're getting so old," she says with fake enthusiasm as she freaks out completely on the inside. "I bet you're old enough to get dressed all by yourself."

Sam just looks at her, his weariness still there but lessened a bit.

"You want to pick out your own clothes or do you want help?"

"I can do it," Sam's meek voice answers her question quickly, his independence already clear as his upset starts calming.

"Ok, how about this…" Lizzy stands up slowly not to scare him anymore. "I'll let you get dressed and you come meet us all downstairs when you're done. You like pancakes?"

Sam's eyes light up a little more and he nods, this time with excitement.

"Pancakes it is," Lizzy warmly grins his way. "Just get dressed and Dean and Bobby will be waiting for you to eat breakfast."

"Ok." It's a quiet response but it's a verbal response nonetheless.

Lizzy nods and turns. She casually makes her way out the door, closing it behind her with a pleasant grin as her insides churn with anxiety. The second it's fully shut she starts running. Her feet pound down the stairs as her fear consumes her.

"We have a problem!" she announces when she reaches the bottom floor. "Sam's five!"

"Yeah, we know…" Dean starts but she cuts him off.

"No! He's five in the head!" she whisper-shouts to him, pointing at her own dome.

"What do you mean?" Bobby questions, wide eyes on her as both men stand up slowly with the information.

"I mean he thinks he's five year old Sam, not twenty-seven year old Sam in a five year old body!"

"How do you know?"

"He cried when he woke up and I was in his room," Lizzy sadly informs them. "He didn't know who I was."

"What!?" Dean's huge orbs stare at her in disbelief. "Why the hell wouldn't he know you!?"

"I think he's reverting," Lizzy tells him. "He didn't know me at the age of five. But he knew you two when I said your names. Dean, he kept asking for you while he was freaking out."

"Shit," Dean gripes harshly when he hears this. Whenever Sam was upset as a kid he always ran to his big brother. Sam never had a security blanket. Instead he had Dean. This sounds an awful lot like his childhood brother alright. "So what's he doing right now?"

"I told him to get dressed and then we could have breakfast," Lizzy explains. "I went with pancakes since kids love those things. It seemed to work. He's supposed to come down here when he's done." She sighs heavily as she rests her hands on her stomach. "Dean, he was scared of me when he woke up to a  _stranger_  in his room."

Washing a hand down his face, unprepared to handle this insanity, Dean pushes aside his bubbling panic and anger to handle the situation properly. Sam is scared, he's going to be even more scared when he sees his nine year old brother at the age of nearly thirty-two, and he has to figure out how to handle this without scaring little Sam any more than he already is.

"So what do we do?" Bobby wonders. "You wanna just pretend like everything is normal?"

"Yes," Dean answers. "He's gotta be freaked to high hell by all this so we pretend it's all fine until we can figure everything out."

As soon as Dean makes that executive decision, little, barely-there footsteps start descending the stairs, taking them one at a time. The trio in the study freezes with unsteady and nervous fear. What do they say!? What do they do!? Shit!

Once on the first floor, Sam walks his hardly over two-foot frame through the room. He doesn't look at anyone around him as he rubs his eyes and runs his hands through his hair, willing himself to fully wake up.

"Hey," Sam simply says in a gruff tone as he heads for the kitchen. This is normal adult Sam behavior. He seems ok.

"Sam?" Dean cautiously questions, following him into the kitchen.

"Yeah?" he asks, his voice tired but still sounding like older Sam, as he looks up at the coffee maker on the counter… the counter he can no longer reach.

"You feeling ok?" Dean asks him, so beyond confused by what he's seeing after the warning he got from Lizzy.

"Besides too short to get my own coffee, fine," he sighs with frustration as he walks to one of the wooden chairs at the kitchen table.

"You're feeling… the same? Like your usual, mid-twenties self?" Lizzy adds another question, her bewilderment killing her. He seems the same as last night.

"Ah, yeah," Sam huffs a bit as he pushes the chair to the counter. He starts to climb onto it. "What's with the inquisition?"

"We're just… making sure you're ok… relatively speakin' of course," Bobby tells him as he grabs Dean by the arm and pulls him into the study to talk out of ear shot, Lizzy following.

"He was not acting like that a few minutes ago," Lizzy emphasizes for them as she whispers just out of Sam's range.

"He seems normal now," Dean shrugs. "Maybe he was just… upset this morning…"

"No!" she shout-whispers at him. "No fucking way. He was not the same. He was a little kid. I asked his age and he told me he was five."

"Then what the hell? Why is he fine now?" Dean asks, the fear never leaving him even with Sam being back to normal mentally.

Bobby sighs as he looks at Sam, the familiar little guy he used to look after in his house. When Sam was five he used to put together his own cereal in the morning just like he's doing with his coffee right now. He'd get up on a kitchen chair and do it himself.

"I say we don't mention it and we keep a real close eye on him," Bobby suggests. "No need in worrying the poor guy any more than we need to. If it keeps happening then we tell him."

"I agree," Lizzy concurs as all three adults watch Sam. He put on a blue plaid shirt, buttoned up just like usual, along with jeans and his new sneakers. His hair is extra shaggy just like every morning and he just plain looks like Sam. And then Lizzy watches him pour a full mug of coffee. "Ah, Sam… wait," she says while rushing to him.

"You think she's right?" Dean questions Bobby as he watches Lizzy go stand next to Sam.

"I'm taking her word for it," Bobby tells him. "I don't doubt her for a second. She knows Sam."

"Yeah… shit, Bobby…"

"We'll figure it out," he promises his son. "We always do."

"Sam-I-Am," Lizzy says with an apologetic voice. "You can't drink all this."

"Why not!?" he responds from his chair, looking her almost eye to eye.

"You're too small to handle all the caffeine. You'll be all jittery and feel like shit," she explains, pouring more than half the mug back into the pot.

"Seriously? You're already policing me?" Sam's annoyance is clear as day.

"No, I'm just trying to help," Lizzy tells him, handing back the half-mug.

"Yeah, thanks mom, but I don't need it," Sam tells her, grabbing the coffee pot with his stubbornness and refilling his cup.

Lizzy just shakes her head. "Alright, you're funeral… just don't come complaining to me when your tiny little heart starts palpitating and you're running around in circles."

"I'm not actually a kid, Lizzy!"

"But your size is," she shrugs. "This is not a commentary on you as a person. It's just your current size."

Sam just grimaces and places his full mug on the chair seat. He then climbs down, grabs his cup, and heads for the study, both small hands clutching hard to the hot mug just to retain a solid hold on it.

"You want pancakes?" Lizzy checks with him, seeing if the offer will jog his memory.

"Um… no," Sam answers as he drops back onto the floor by the book he was reading last night. He knows someone must have carried him to bed last night, or else how would he have gotten there? But he remains silent on it. It's too embarrassing to ask.

"Egg white omelet?" Lizzy tries again.

"Yeah. That sounds good," Sam nods and everyone in the room now knows for certain that he's back to normal… mentally at least.

After shooting an extremely nervous face Dean's way, Lizzy heads into her chef job. Someone had to cook around here or these men would legitimately live on canned food, cereal, and cheap whiskey only.

Sam settles in behind the book that's huge, especially compared to his size. He sits Indian-style, his elbows resting on his knees and his chin propped in his hands and reads.

"You sure you're ok, Sam?" Dean has to check one more time as this whole situation claws at the back of his brain.

"Shut up, Dean," Sam kid-voice answers without looking up, his shorter locks shielding his eyes. He reaches out absently to his mug and grabs the handle. When he tries to lift it like normal it teeters in his grip, his arm unable to handle its full weight. "Shit," he curses under his breath as he grabs it with both hands to take a sip.

"Bitch," Dean name-calls and walks away. He shoves his fear away for a second, looking over his wife while she pulls out ingredients. She has her usual jeans and a white t-shirt on. However, even though her jeans are now maternity pants and her t-shirt is Sam's so that it'll fit Dean could care less. They don't look lame on her. She looks like her usual self and fuck it all if he doesn't just love her usual self.

"Hey," he smiles, kissing her on the cheek quick, his hand rubbing her lower back affectionately once, before grabbing a mug of his own.

"Hi," she grins right back.

"How you feeling today?" Dean asks as he always does once a day. They spent the entire morning worrying about Sam and running errands for him that he never checked on her.

"Usual," she tells him, turning on the stovetop and heating up a pan. "Tired, emotional, hungry,  _big_ …"

"Well, countdown's really ticking away," he reminds her, glancing at her out the corner of his eye while he pours hot coffee for himself. "Only a matter of time now before you don't have to deal with all that anymore."

"Fine by me!" she jokes as she cracks a few eggs. "But my current problems will only be replaced with a whole new set of problems once our dude is here."

"True."

"Middle of the night feedings, poopy diapers, a little person constantly stuck mouth-first to my boobs..."

"Already a man after my own heart." He grins slickly at her with his own joke. She laughs while shaking her head. "You sure you're ready for all that, momma?" Dean questions in his usual flirty tone. "This is gonna change a lot of things."

"Oh, I'm ready," she assures, meaning it.

"Yeah, me too," he responds once his coffee is in hand. He turns around to lean back against the counter while he talks. "And it'll be nice to be included in this whole thing for once."

"What?" she questions with confusion. "You've been included this whole time."

"Yeah, but as the guy I don't get to do a whole lot before the kid shows up," he points out. "You get to have him all the time. Hell, he beats you up daily."

"Don't remind me," she rolls her eyes, having gotten a little bit sick of the constant interruption and assault.

"But I get nothing," Dean points out, taking a sip of coffee and eyeing Sam, making sure he's settling in as well as he can. "Not until you pop Sammy out do I get to have anything to do with him."

When it all clicks with her Lizzy rubs his upper arm sympathetically. "I get it."

"Good," he responds, sipping his coffee.

"You wish  _you_  were the pregnant one," Lizzy antagonizes a bit.

"I wasn't saying…"

"You wanna be a woman again, I understand now," Lizzy keeps going, laughing through her comment as she grabs onto his arm so that he won't run away from her.

"Jesus," he rolls his eyes and pushes off the counter but she keeps him there.

"You want boobs that hurt and having to pee every five minute," she giggles more. "You want to wear flip flops in the winter because your feet are enormous and you wanna feel like a whale."

"Alright, I get it," Dean give in stubbornly. "I'm the lucky one. Shut up."

"Yes you are," she says as she holds his hand. "I get Sammy now and all the shit that comes with it and you get him later but get to remain pain and awkward free. It's a good deal."

She smiles and then purses her lips, getting Dean to lean down to kiss her.

"And I can't wait for you to meet him," she says quietly so Bobby and Sam can't hear her. "You're gonna kick ass at this dad thing."

"Damn straight," he says, kissing her one more time before walking away, stowing the touchy-feely crap for later. Time to research.

Once he's gone Lizzy rifles through the refrigerator for omelet ingredients.

"Sam-I-Am, you want tomatoes and onions?"

"I don't like onions," he very simply says, his eyes never leaving his book as he shifts to lay on his stomach on the floor.

"Since when?" she laughs a little, knowing how untrue it is.

"They're gross," he answers quickly and without thinking before looking up at her with an odd expression. "Wait… uh…"

"You eat onions all the time," Lizzy narrows her eyes at him.

"Not when he was kid," Dean points out with worry from his place on the cot. "Sam, what's with that?"

"I don't know," he says, looking down at his child-sized hands and thinking. "Maybe my taste buds are young again?"

"Could be it," Lizzy says, not taking that as the true answer.

"Great. So I guess we have to throw out all the broccoli and mayo then too," Dean complains when he recalls all the foods Sam refused to eat as a kid.

"Yeah… those sound pretty nasty right now," Sam huffs in a laugh. "You know, they say that over time tastes buds do mature and change our food preferences. Eventually I ate onions and put mayo on sandwiches and liked them. Huh…" He drifts off, thinking it through like the little science nerd he is deep down.

"Alright Bill Nye, get your head back in the game," Dean calls over to him to pull the guy out of his head. "Read up while L makes you an onion free breakfast."

"Yeah, ok," Sam nods and looks down at his book, pausing for a second. "Hey, Lizzy?"

"Yeah?" she turns and smiles to him warmly, keeping her fears hidden inside.

"Can you make pancakes or something instead?"

The way he looks up at her, his small and so innocent face lit up with hope that she'll say yes, just melts her completely.

"Sure," she says instantly, giving in and knowing she's going to have to toughen up when her son gets older. She's going to spoil him if she doesn't grow a backbone.

"Thanks," he says, wide grin in place before looking down at his book again.

* * *

 


	3. We Should Name Him Snarf!

* * *

Desperately needing a break, Dean decided to head outside on the cold winter day after reading until his eyes started to cross. And it wasn't just the reading that was making him so damn agitated. Inside, cooped up with no choice but to alternate between worrying about his suddenly very young little brother and his very pregnant wife, he was driving himself nuts.

So he did what he always does when shit gets too rough; he ran to his girlfriend on the side for some serious stress release.

With his head hidden under the hood of the Impala Dean has always been able to calm his emotions and clear his mind when he's needed it the most. Sure, he could have gone a few hundred more miles before an oil change but screw that. He needs car-therapy and he needs it now. Plus, there's nothing wrong with spoiling his Baby a little.

"Hey," Dean greets with surprise when he watches Sam head out the side door of the house with Cass. He has the dog on his usual leash and right now they're both standing at about the same height.

"Hey," Sam returns while going up on his tip toes to pull the doorknob shut.

"Taking a break?" Dean asks, standing upright and wiping his hands on a rag while looking around the property for any threats now that Sam's outside.

"Yeah," he nods, walking down the steps one at a time. Dean doesn't even attempt to bust his balls with how cute the move is. He knows better. "Couldn't read another damn word."

"I know the feeling."

"That and Cass hasn't been out in a while. Figured I'd walk him."

"You warm enough?" Dean questions, nodding to the simple canvas jacket he has on in the middle of winter. Sam gives him an angry look on is five-year-old face. "What? They didn't have any winter coats at the store we went to without cartoon animals on it. You look like you're gonna be cold out here is all I'm saying."

"I'll survive." Sam starts to walk back into the property with Cass following along.

"You want company?" Dean tries as having Sam alone at all right now makes him very nervous.

Sam simply gives him another angry look over his shoulder and keeps moving.

"Don't go too far!" Dean calls to him, worried about his weaker brother being on his own where he can't see him.

"Eat me!" Sam yells back and disappears down the gravel road running through the property.

Dean shakes his head and grabs an oil pan. He drains the used oil out of the engine and leans against the bumper to wait for it to finish. While standing there he thinks about if he is being overprotective or rightfully worried about Sam in his current predicament. The guy still is the same as always but he's so small, so easily taken or hurt. No. Dean's not overreacting. He's reacting quite perfectly, he decides on his own.

While lost in his mind he hears a high pitched scream from a ways back in the salvage yard, the voice undoubtedly belonging to Sam.

"Sam!?" Dean immediately calls out and is pushing off his car. He's sprinting before he knows it, the old familiar rock of dread in his gut that would appear when they were younger and Dean had to look after his unknowing and as of yet untrained little brother. The same old mantra begins on a loop.  _Look after Sammy. Look after Sammy. Look After Sammy._  "Sammy!?"

When he rounds the corner of a stack of piled junkers he gets a glimpse of the commotion making Sam yell.

"Ah! Stop it!" Sam laughs out uncontrollably as he's lying on his back on the gravel road as the Australian Sheppard hovers over him, licking his face over and over again. "Ha!"

Dean stands still with confusion. Is his brother… giggling?

"Dean!" Sam shouts through his laughter when he sees his big brother standing there. "Help me, ha! He won't stop licking me!"

This pulls him from the initial shock of what he thought was Sam's voice in distress and Dean walks to Cass, crouching down to take up his leash and pull him gently away from his tiny brother to give him a break.

Sam giggles some more and grabs his stomach. "He wouldn't leave me alone!"

"Sam? You ok?" Dean's wrinkled and concerned expression looks his little brother over. His body language is way off. Sam's very ridged, awkward at times even, but right now he's relaxed and even when he stands back up he looks like a carefree kid in every sense.

"Can we keep him!?" Sam immediately asks when he's standing. He pets Cass on his fluffy head and looks at Dean with bright hopeful eyes. "Please?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Uncle Bobby can look after him when we're gone," Sam logics quickly, scheming so he can keep the dog he already loves. "Dad won't let us but maybe Bobby…"

"Dad!?" Dean shocks out when Sam mentions their father that's been dead for over five years.

"I know he hates dogs but this is a really nice one," Sam pleads a little more, his arms coming around Cass' neck as the dog licks his cheek one more time. "Please? Can you ask Uncle Bobby? He might say yes if you ask him."

Lizzy was right. Sam's reverting. This is his five year old brother completely and it scares the ever living shit out of Dean.

"We can keep him," Dean agrees just to go along with it for now. He doesn't know what else he could possibly do or say at the moment anyways.

"Really!?" Sam's eye go wide with excitement.

"Yeah, Sammy. Yeah." Dean smiles with the promise, keeping his exterior calm and happy.

"Yes!" Sam says as he jumps up once, pumping his little fists with full happiness. "Thanks, Dean!"

Sam bum-rushes his older brother and throws his little arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug that nearly chokes Dean. Going with sheer instinct on this one, Dean's arms come around his tiny frame, pulling Sam in and flashing back to the good old days. His brother was so happy and stress-free back then. Hugs were no big deal and showing excitement, even if it was a rare thing, was just fine.

"Hey, ah, Sam?" Dean asks, pushing his brother away from him a little to look him in the eyes. The bright hazel color looks right back at him and waits for whatever it is his big brother has to say. "Do I look different to you?"

Really Sam should be freaked out. He should wonder why his ten-year-old brother is suddenly an adult if Sam is only five in his mind but this thought doesn't seem to register with Sam.

"You're weird, Dean," Sam giggles and takes the leash from Dean's hand. "What do you want to name him?"

"Sammy, I need you to focus for a minute here," Dean tries to get Sam to concentrate. "Do I look different?"

"No," he answers easily while petting the new-to-him dog.

"I look the same as always?"

"Yeah," Sam shrugs, never looking at him with his excitement over a pet. "We should name him Snarf!"

Dean actually huffs a laugh with this one. Sam loved Thundercats as a kid. He'd watch it every Sunday morning. He wouldn't talk or even move when it was on. Dean never did figure out why he loved that show so damn much.

"He already has a name," Dean tells Sam with a soft smile, taking up the dog's tag on his collar to show Sam. "His name is Cass."

"Ah, yeah… I know," Sam says to Dean with obviousness, his tone switching from young to serious.

"But you just said…" and Dean stops short. Something just shifted in Sam again.

"What did I just say?" Sam asks, his voice mature and confused.

"Nothing," Dean brushes off and gets up from his crouch on the ground to stand tall while being thrown for yet another loop.

"Ah… ok…" Sam says with a huff of weird laughter at Dean's sudden strange behavior. "You done with the car or something?"

What the hell is going on here?

"Ah, no," Dean answers. "Got to finish up. I just came back here to walk with you a little."

"Stop checking up on me, Dean," Sam complains and starts back for the house. "I'm fine."

As he watches his small brother walk away he realizes for the first time just how serious this whole situation really is and it's scaring him like not much else can. Lizzy was totally right, and he didn't doubt her in the least, but seeing it firsthand is awful. His brother isn't just in the body of his 5 year old self, he's slowly  _turning into_  his five year old self.

Dean knows for sure now that Sam is most definitely  _not_  fine.

* * *

"Again?" Lizzy questions as she walks into the living room with a bowl of popcorn in her hands. She looks down at the floor and sees Sam, once more stretched out on his stomach and once more passed out on top of the book he was attempting to get through, his tiny frame completely unmoving. "He passed out like that all over again."

"He's determined to prove that he's still the same person… which is clearly not the case," Bobby says, his own book on his lap but his eyes are weary and just so tired looking.

"No kidding," Dean complains before peering at Sam. He nudges him with his foot once, making sure he's really out, and the little boy doesn't even respond. He stays out cold. "You don't know just how not himself he is right now."

"What do you mean?" Bobby questions with the cryptic way Dean says this.

"I mean that he reverted to 5 year old Sammy while he was walking Cass." They haven't had a chance to discuss this without Sam since it happened so Dean's held onto this information for hours.

"Seriously?" Lizzy says, eyes wide. "Shit. That's so not good."

"Not at all," Dean tells her. "It was weird. One minute he's getting mad at me for not wanting him to walk too far and stay close, the next he's asking me if we can keep the dog he found. He didn't remember Cass at all."

"Great," Lizzy sighs with the heaviness of this situation. "He didn't know me either."

"But he knew  _Uncle_  Bobby," Dean adds on. "And in his head dad was alive still."

"So basically every time this happens he's thrown back in time, back to exactly what life was when he was five?" Bobby looks for clarification.

"Definitely," Dean says before rethinking his answer. "But I don't know how exact it is."

"What do you mean?" Lizzy asks him.

"Well, he knew who I was right away… but to him I should look like ten year old me. He acted like me being way older than him was no big deal. I even asked him if I looked different and he called me weird."

"Huh…" Bobby thinks aloud. "That just makes not a lick of sense."

"Don't I know it," Dean washes a hand down his face with sheer concern. "What the hell is all this? What the fuck are we supposed to do here?"

Lizzy and Bobby remain quiet at first, both being at as much of a loss as he is.

"We keep reading," Lizzy says. "And we wait for good old Castiel to get back to us."

"God damn it, where the hell has he been?" Dean says with sheer agitation. "Can you feel him out?"

"I tried earlier," she tells him. "He's far. I'm banking on Heaven."

"Son of a bitch," Dean grumbles as he looks over Sam for the millionth time. Dean just wants to fix it. He has to fix it, and being this helpless doesn't work for him.

"It's only been one day," Lizzy says calmly, a hand on his knee as she sits next to him on the couch. "We'll keep looking. It'll be ok. It's always ok in the end."

"Yeah…." Dean sighs and sits back, dropping a heavy hand onto hers. She makes a very good point. They do generally tend to find their way out of tough spots. "Yeah, we'll figure it out. It just scares the shit outta me…"

"All of us, Dean," Bobby says through a yawn. "Scares us all."

"Hey, Bobby?" Lizzy looks for his attention. He peers up at her with dead-tired eyes. "Can you carry Sam up to bed, please?"

"Sure," he says while groaning as he gets up, shaking his head to get rid of the tired cloudiness.

"And while you're at it tuck yourself in too?" Lizzy says with a certain half-serious tone.

"Nah, I'm good," Bobby denies the idea and bends down to pick up the small Sam asleep on the floor.

"Don't do that with me, young man," Lizzy warns in jest as she wags a finger at him. She then returns to her normal voice. "Seriously, Bobby, it's fine. Go to sleep. Dean and I can stay up a little longer and then tomorrow we'll go over it all."

He just glares at her with refusal.

"Just go, Bobby," Dean waves him off. "You slept at your desk last night. Get some real sleep, man."

Once he stands up, Sam's small form bundled in his arms, he glares at Dean and Lizzy for their parenting of his much older self. But fuck, he really is dead tired. "Idjits."

He walks off, disappearing into the house, and the two on the couch know they won.

"Aw, he listened," Lizzy coos in jest as she nudges Dean with her shoulder. Dean gives her a half smile, one that she doesn't believe for a second, before ducking her head back down to read the book on his lap. "Dean, it'll be ok," she reminds him, looking to lighten the load even a little bit.

"Yeah," Dean nods but clearly finds no comfort in her words.

"Ok, what is it?" Lizzy wonders, angling towards him a little more.

He looks at her a minute while formulating his thoughts. "I forgot."

"Forgot…?"

"About how happy Sam was back then." Dean drops his book on the floor and rubs his eyes while talking. "He didn't know about… anything. To him there were no demons and no Apocalypse. He was in first grade, loving school and he used to be…"

When Dean pauses while looking for the right word Lizzy grabs his hand.

"He was just a kid," he keeps going. "A simple, average, smart little kid that loved life. He was happy, even on the road all the time and going to strange places and living in motels. He didn't have any idea that wasn't normal. Sam was, he was just…"

"A kid," Lizzy nods, understanding completely.

"Yeah, yeah and I didn't realize how much I missed that," Dean adds on. "All the pain he's seen since then, the loss and evil… it's like his slate is wiped clean when he starts acting like a kid, you know? I wish we could keep that for him."

"You wanna keep him as a child?" Lizzy asks with an eyebrow arched.

"No, not what I'm saying," Dean tells her. "I just want to take the horror away is all. We gotta get Sam back to his normal age but I wish we could toss out the hell and the bloodshed with the five year old body. Sam has never deserved an ounce of what's come for him. He deserves a better life."

"Don't we all," Lizzy comments. "And I see your point. Erasing all that would be wonderful."

"But for us… impossible," Dean rebuts. "We never catch breaks like that."

Lizzy bites her tongue at this point. She's a little surprised that Dean would actually do something like that to Sam, erase such a huge amount of his life like that, but at the same time she's not all that surprised. If he can make Sam's life better in any way possible he'd do it and he'd do it at all costs. If it comes to that the two of them have one huge conversation ahead of them.

"Let's read, huh?" Lizzy suggests as she moves the bowl of popcorn in between them. "I know you won't let me stay up much longer so we should get in what we can."

"It  _is_  late," he comments, glancing down at her pregnant stomach just once. "And you promised to not stay up all night anymore…"

"Calm down, dad," Lizzy soothes his worries a bit. "Read up and we'll go to bed in a few hours."

* * *

The scream that suddenly pierces the air of the old house is close, blood-curdling, and horrified. And so young.

Dean flies up in bed, sitting tall with the sound. This wouldn't be the first time he's woken up to the sound of desperate and pain-filled howling ringing in his ears, not by a long shot. But it is one of the few times the screaming has continued after he was wide awake, no longer locked in his mind that tends to still replay his time in Hell and all the gore and agony that came with it.

Sam.

"Shit," he hears Lizzy say with fright as she wakes up right after him while he scrambles out of bed frantically, his bare feet pounding down the hallway as the sound continues to kill him on the inside. That is his little brother without doubt but the tone, the anguish in his voice is like nothing Dean's ever heard growing up. This is panic and feral fright at its base.

When he rushes through the doorway of the nursery Sam's asleep in he can see the frantic movements under the comforter. A tiny hand flies up into the air above the sheets before disappearing again, the movements sharp and harsh.

"Sam!" Dean shouts to his brother as he runs to the bed. He gets onto it, hovering over the tiny body in a frenzy of terror, and grabs his arms. "Sammy! Wake up!"

When Lizzy makes it to the doorway, Bobby right behind her, they look in and see Dean trying to restrain the small-sized Sam.

"Oh God," Lizzy worries as she moves to get in the room, Bobby immediately stopping her.

"Stay here," he tells her as he moves past her quickly, going in to help Dean. He doesn't want her to get hurt while pregnant and, granted, a flailing five year old probably couldn't inflict too much damage, but he doesn't take that chance.

Lizzy turns on the light so that everyone can see what they're dealing with.

"Grab his feet," Dean calls over his shoulder to Bobby after getting a few too many kicks in the ribs.

Bobby does so, pressing Sam's little ankles into the mattress through the blankets over him.

"Sammy!" Dean calls out yet again as he leans down closer to the still thrashing body below him. He pins Sam's arms down with his elbows and presses a hand into each side of Sam's head. "Open your eyes, Sam! It's me, come on!"

"It's not working!" Bobby says with sheer concern when nothing changes.

Dean sighs and closes his eyes briefly, trying to push down his own fears to be the calming presence he needs to be right now. "Sammy," he starts, speaking in a warmer tone. "You gotta pull yourself outta whatever this is. You hear me?"

Sam keeps fighting but his actions suddenly get noticeably weaker.

"There you go, little brother," Dean almost cheers him on. "You can do this. Listen to me and follow me out. I'm right here, dude. Right here. Wake up, ok? It's just a dream."

The little body goes still and Sam takes one big inhale, as if he hadn't been breathing that whole time.

"Sam?" Dean questions, making sure he's awake. When the little hazel eyes open and look up at him he sighs with a little relief and lets go of his head. "You with me, Sam?"

Sam huffs a few frightened breaths as he lays there but the second he registers that it's his brother looking at him, holding him down, he loses it. Sam starts crying.

"Hey," Dean immediately soothes in a totally different tone than just seconds before. "It's ok."

"Dean!" Sam cries even louder and Dean gets off of him. Instantly Sam launches up and crushed Dean in a huge hug. His crying devolves into sobs and his eyes squeeze tight.

"Dude, what is this?" Dean asks with Sam's odd reaction, not remembering seeing a side of Sam like this ever before now.

"Hot Shot," Lizzy very quietly calls out to him and turns his head to look at her. She gives him a sympathetic look as she is understanding it. "That's your  _little_  brother." She nods at Sam in his arms and it clicks.

Sam's five again and whatever he just saw in his dreams was far beyond his young capacity.

"Aw, Sammy," Dean sadly sighs as he wraps his arms tighter around the little boy. He can feel Sam shaking so hard that it seriously concerns him. Sam's voice is still frantic with his sobs and Dean closes his eyes again with sorrow for the boy. "Calm down, Sam. I'm here now, it's ok."

Sam presses his face into Dean's t-shirt, his tears soaking into the fabric, and starts to take it down a bit. His ragged, twitchy breathing takes a moment to calm but eventually he starts to come back to normal.

"What do you think it was?" Bobby wonders quietly, running a very calm and gentle hand over Sam's head as he knows Sam will remember him. He sits on the bed next to Dean and the two just look at each other.

"God, name it," Dean answers, thinking that with all they've seen it could be anything at all that could scare Sam that much. He pulls the boy away from him a little until he's sitting in his lap. "Sammy, you remember what you were dreaming about?"

Sam sharply shake his head yes. He remembers it all.

"Can you tell me about it?"

Sam's face scrunches up as he shakes his head no, the tears threatening to start up again. Dean pulls him against his chest tightly to let him know he's safe.

"It's ok. You're safe now, right?"

"Yeah…." his quiet voice answers, the tone scratchy after all the screaming.

"So you can tell me, Sam," Dean assures as he looks down at Sam, the little boy's watery eyes looking back up at him. "You think I'm gonna let anything get you ever?"

"No." Sam is at least sure of that.

"That's right. Nothing will ever hurt you if I'm around. Try and tell me what you saw."

Sam swallows hard and wipes his eyes with his little palms. "Fire."

"You saw fire?" Dean questions, pressing his luck.

Sam nods again.

"What else?"

"There was lady," Sam tells his brother, his chin quivering a bit. "She was in the fire. She was hurt and on the ceiling…"

"Ok, ok," Dean nods and pulls Sam in tight again. "You don't have to say anything else. It's ok now, Sammy. That never happened."

Lizzy looks at Dean funny and she can tell he's purposely avoiding her eye line. He's lying for his brother's benefit. Sam saw Jessica's death in his dream, like he has as an adult a million times before, but now his mental understanding and emotional maturity as a five year old can't handle it.

"It was just a nightmare," Dean keeps talking. "Nightmares can't hurt you."

"Usually," Bobby huffs under his breath, knowing that in certain ways they can with his past experiences.

"Shut up," Dean whispers to him, angry for the unhelpful moment. "It's all gone now, Sam."

When Sam's body goes slack in his hold, his muscles no longer tense with fear, Dean knows Sam will be ok. He's trusting his brother.

"You alright now?" Dean looks down and asks his young brother. Sam peers up at him.

"I'm ok."

"Good man," Dean smiles small and he moves to put Sam back into bed. He picks him up under his arms and drops him down onto the mattress. When he tries to let go Sam's grip stays on Dean's arms. When Dean looks at him with confusion Sam shakes his head no rapidly again. "What?"

"Don't leave," he asks, the slight panic in his tone returning.

"But you're ok now…"

"Dean," Sam says his name one more time, the pleading and fear behind it clear as day.

When he looks at Sam, seeing all that emotion in him that Sam never lets out in his adult life, Dean doesn't know what to say.

"Hot Shot?" Lizzy speaks up, still in her place at the doorway as she doesn't want to add to Sam's fright. He doesn't know her and Sam knows well that they stay away from strangers.

Dean looks over to her and she smiles.

"Stay in here tonight, big brother," she tells him. She shrugs. "I'll be fine without you but him…" She nods at the frightened boy. "Not so much."

He turns back to Sam. "You  _really_  that scared still?"

Sam nods again, eyes suddenly looking tearful again with the threat of Dean leaving him alone in the room.

"Seriously?" Dean complains.

"Be a good brother, Dean," Lizzy's voice warns strongly with Dean's reaction. No need to insult the small child while he's already upset.

"Yeah, fine," Dean says, feeling awful weird about the whole thing. This would happen on very rare occasions when they were growing up, specifically when dad would be gone for days and Sam would get scared like this over a nightmare or a thunderstorm. But Dean's a damn adult now. This is fucking crazy.

But that expression on the small, familiar face staring at him with hope and need… he's more of a sucker for his brother now than ever before.

"So freakin' weird," Dean grumbles as he pulls back the comforter of the bed. Bobby gets up and heads for the door.

"G'night, kids," he says to the room, patting Lizzy on the stomach on his way out, including the unborn Sammy in his parting words.

Lizzy then walks slowly into the room, not wanting to jar Sam with her presence.

"You boys nice and comfy?" she patronizes a bit when she comes up next to the bed.

"You're hilarious," Dean says back in a flat, not exactly happy tone as he settles in on his back.

"Sam, you need anything else?" she questions with a smile, looking to show him she means well if she's going to continue to be around when the five year old him shows up.

"No," he answer quietly as she pulls the blanket up to his chin once he's lying down.

"Then sleep tight, kiddo," Lizzy says to him, ruffling his hair just a bit. She couldn't help it. He's just too adorable and that motherly thing keeps kicking in hard when he shows up.

She then looks to her husband that gives her one unhappy look.

"You too," she winks.

"This is weird, right?" Dean asks her, glancing quickly at Sam lying next to him.

"Only if you make it weird," she laughs slightly and leans over the bed. She kisses him once before backing away. "I love you."

"Love you too," he nearly grumbles with his bad mood.

"Sweet dreams, Sam!" she says as she walks to the door. She leaves it open, wanting to hear if anything happens again, and turns off the light.

The second it's dark again Sam tenses up and reaches to his side, his hand landing on Dean's shoulder. He grabs at the t-shirt fabric hard.

"What's going on with you?" Dean instantly asks, looking over to see wide eyes looking at him in the darkness.

Sam doesn't answer. He turns onto his side facing Dean and keeps his connection tight.

"Sammy, I told you it wasn't real," Dean somewhat lies again. "It was all your imagination."

"It was scary," Sam tells him with honestly and in the most basic way, like most children do as they haven't developed a filter quite yet.

Dean sighs and really starts to see how horrible this was to Sam. "Alright," he starts, lifting his arm closest to Sam and bringing it behind his head. "Close your eyes."

Sam listens and as his lids lower Dean takes his tiny hand and places it on his chest, patting it a couple times once it's there. Sam balls his hand up in the cotton fabric again and Dean drops his hand on top.

"You're safe, dude," Dean says quietly and closes his own eyes. He takes a deep breath and finds himself actually happy to be where he is right now. He can help Sam for once, something he's struggled to be able to do for so long. He couldn't keep him from Ruby, or Lucifer, or all the demons after him his whole life. He can't make the wall in his brain permanent and he can't heal his shattered heart that's still in pieces over the loss of Lou. He can't take away what Azazel did to him and he can't erase all the shit he's been through growing up.

Right now, however… he can keep the bad dreams away. It's small in the grand scheme of things but that doesn't matter. A triumph is a triumph, right? He's helping Sam and it feels good to be able to do that again. It's been so long since he could do that.

"I won't let anything get you, Sammy."

* * *

Waking up to the need to go to the bathroom, Sam sighs. This morning he didn't even get the comfort of coming to with the hopes that he's back to his normal size. He can feel it already, he's still tiny, and as an adult his feet would be hanging off the end of whatever bed he's laying it. There's mattress under his feet this morning. Shit.

And with how small his bladder is now he has to go pretty badly. Time to get up.

Sam opens his eyes and is greeted with the color white blinding his vision. When he lifts his head from the pillow he thinks he's resting on he gets very confused.

"What the hell?" he questions quietly to himself as he sees where he is and who he's with. His head was resting on Dean's chest with his hand fisted into his white t-shirt. Dean's arm is around his much smaller frame and Sam is  _very_  confused. "Dean."

Dean sniffles a little, humming once before going back to his unmoving sleep. Sam suddenly gets angry with where he is and with how confused he is about getting there.

"Dean!" he shouts and instantly his brother's eyes are open.

"What's wrong?" he asks in a groggy voice as he lifts his head to look at Sam next to him. "Hey. You sleep better?"

"What hell, Dean!?" Sam near shouts as he sits up and pushes his older brother in the side. "The fuck are you doing in here?"

Dean looks at him with confusion before it clicks. This is his adult brother Sam this morning.

"Right, you're back," Dean says and washes a hand down his face to wake up as he sits up.

"Back from where!?" Sam asks with wide eyes, feeling just so lost as he jumps down from his bed to look at Dean with more anger.

"Back from… nothing," Dean excuses lamely before grumbling to himself, "Shoulda thought this through last night."

"Dean, what the hell is going on here!?" Sam asks in his usual pissed off, I'm getting lied to way. "This is fucking weird!"

"That's what I said last night," Dean jokes before sighing heavily.

"Dean…"

"Sam… we need to talk."

* * *

 


	4. How Did He Get in There?

* * *

Sitting on the couch, book resting on her stomach and the TV on to provide some form of background noise, Lizzy keeps pushing off the hopelessness that pops up every time she turns a page and finds nothing new. Well aware of how odd and rare this situation is she's more than worried about finding a solution.

While lost in her head she hears the quiet sound of a child's giggle from next to her. She freezes as her eyes look up to the television screen. Bugs Bunny is currently doing a great job of tricking his old nemesis Elmer Fudd into thinking he's down his rabbit hole when instead he's hiding in the bushes behind him.

Glancing to the side, afraid to make eye contact with the boy that might still be scared of her, she watches Sam's focus as it's glued to the screen with a small smile on his lips. When Elmer Fudd unknowingly shoots his own self in the ass Sam's face lights up again and he laughs a little louder this time.

"Sammy?" Lizzy says in the warmest and most comforting voice she can muster. When the boy looks over to her and waits for her to continue she knows she's dealing with the five year old again. His face is lighter, unburdened, and just too innocent to not be. That and he isn't correcting her on the name she calls him. "So, you like Bugs Bunny?"

"Yeah," Sammy says with a grin as he looks back at the screen. "He's really funny."

"He is, isn't he," Lizzy smiles right back, looking at the screen and recalling just how funny the cartoons can be. She used to love them as a kid but once she grew out of them she just kind of forgot about the fun they bring. As Sammy starts laughing a little louder this time it brings her back. "I used to like the Roadrunner the best."

"I feel bad for the Coyote," he tells her. "He never wins."

"You want him to catch the Roadrunner?" Lizzy wonders with wide eyes, surprised he'd side with the usual bad guy.

"I don't know," he shrugs. "He's just hungry."

Lizzy laughs a little. "So that's why the Coyote is trying to catch the Roadrunner? He needs to eat?"

"Yep," Sammy answers as if it's all so obvious. "Coyotes eat other animals."

Most kids would never think about the logic behind a cartoon like Sammy just did nonetheless see the flaw in feeling bad for a hungry animal. "You're a very smart boy, Sammy."

"I know."

"You know?" Lizzy laughs a little more when he just accepts this compliment.

"Dean always tells me so. He's says I'm really smart."

"I think he's right."

Sammy doesn't respond this time. He just watches on, oblivious to Lizzy's peering and analyzing of him. She knew this is exactly what Sam would have been like as a kid. He's methodical in his thinking yet way more open to happiness and other people than later in life. And he's no longer nervous about being around her. It feels as though he accepts her. It didn't take long for him to come around.

"Oh," Lizzy says suddenly when she gets one good kick from her unborn son just as he starts up his usual activity.

"Are you ok?" Sammy asks with worried eyes when she brings her hand to her stomach.

"I'm ok, kiddo," Lizzy responds, putting the smile back on her face to not worry him.

"Does your tummy hurt?"

"No, no. Nothing like that," she promises. "The baby's just moving and he kind of scared me. Sometimes he catches me off guard."

"The baby?" Sammy asks, not getting it at first.

"Yeah, I'm having a baby," she explains in the most basic terms.

"He's in your tummy?" Sammy keeps on prying, pointing to her large stomach.

"Yes he is." She smiles wide.

"How did he get in there?"

"Oh… um…" Lizzy nearly chokes on her own words. Seriously? She's seen five year old Sam twice and he's asking about babies and sex? She's not ready for this. Time to change the subject. "He's still moving around, you know. You wanna feel him?"

Sammy's eye blow wide with the idea. And he looks too nervous to say yes.

"You can. It's ok," Lizzy assures as she pats the cushion next to her, glad her tactic worked. "Come sit over here."

Sammy quickly takes the book off his lap and drops it onto the wooden floor with a thud. He then scoots over to her very carefully, as if he doesn't want to hurt her.

"Sit next to me," she invites and holds her arm out. Sammy scoots into the space under her arm and she brings it around his tiny frame. She then takes one of his small hands and holds it against her stomach right where the current beating is occurring.

Sammy's eyes light up with surprise when he can feel something moving in there.

" _That's_  the baby!?"

"Yes it is," Lizzy laughs once more. "He's getting so big. He's almost ready to come out of there."

"How does he get out?" Sammy keeps prying as he places his second hand onto her too, his thirst for knowledge and understanding taking a tough turn for her once more. How to explain this one…

"Well… the doctors will do that," she simply puts it. "They'll make sure he gets out safe and then we can meet him."

"So you're gonna be a mommy?"

"Yes."

He gets quiet for a moment. "We don't have a mommy."

The sadness in his little voice nearly kills her.

"Well, everyone has a mommy," Lizzy tries to explain to him. "You have a mommy… she's just not with us anymore, sweetheart. Just like mine. Mine's no longer here too."

"Dad says she's in Heaven," Sammy tells her, looking up at her while his hands are still on her stomach. "Is you're mommy in Heaven too?"

"I like to think so, yes," Lizzy smiles with the thought. It's the only place good enough for her mother in the afterlife so she likes to believe she's there.

"Dean says our mom is dead and he doesn't want to talk about her. I think it makes him sad."

"I know it makes him sad," Lizzy lets him know he's right. "He remembers her and it hurts that she's gone. He just really misses her."

"I don't miss her," he responds, sounding almost confused by the way he feels. If Dean is sad shouldn't he be sad too?

"You never got to really know her, hon," Lizzy says as her arm around him tightens. "It's hard to miss someone you never knew. But that's ok. It isn't your fault that she's gone."

"I know."

"And you still have a really great big brother," she points out to him. "And Bobby loves you. So do I."

"And Dad too."

She swallows hard. "Yes, your Dad loves you very much."

"Does the baby have a dad?"

Lizzy smiles wide. Oh boy, here it goes. "Uh, well… Sammy, do you know who I am? In our family?"

He shakes his head no.

"I'm kinda like your sister," she explains. "I'm married to Dean. See?"

She shows him her rings on her left hand, hoping to help explain.

"You  _married_  Dean!?" he asks with child-driven shock. He drops his jaw and looks up at her.

"I did," she laughs and then pats her stomach. "And Dean is the baby's dad."

"He is!?" he shocks out once more, this time even more surprised than before.

"Sure is," Lizzy keeps smiling so wide. She's now adoring this conversation. "And that means you're gonna be an uncle!"

"What!?" he asks, turning in his seat. He tucks his feet under him and kneels next to her, both his hands still on her stomach as the baby keeps moving. "I'm an uncle?"

"Yes."

"I'm just a kid!"

Lizzy laughs out loud for this one. "But your still Dean's little brother! So you're going to be Uncle Sammy."

He just stays there with a floored face at the news.

"What do you think about that?" Lizzy questions.

"I think it's cool," he tells her, smiling to her innocently as he processes everything.

"Good," she responds as he runs a hand through his unruly hair, already in love with this other version of Sam. He's so pure and young, so wide eyed and just too sweet.

"What's the baby's name?"

"Well… Dean and I were thinking about Sammy as a name."

"That's my name!" Sammy nearly shouts and points to himself with excitement.

"I know!" Lizzy shouts right back, mirroring his excitement. "Do you think that's a good name for him too?"

"It's a very good name," he tells her with a grin showing every one of his baby teeth he's yet to lose.

"Then that's his name, as long as you don't mind."

"Dean!" Sammy suddenly shouts as he scrambles down from the couch and flies out of the living room before Lizzy can even stand up. He runs through the first floor, looking for his older brother. "Dean!"

"What!?" Dean comes flying down the stairs onto the first floor when hears his little brother calling for him. "Sam, what!? What's wrong!?"

Sam rushes right to him when he finds him, looking up the huge height difference. "The baby's name is Sammy!"

"Uh…" Dean pauses when he needs a quick second to sort through what's happening. This has to be Sammy. "Yeah, dude. He's gonna have the same name as you."

"That's so cool!" Sammy nearly bounces on his feet with excitement, his hands clasped together hard. "And I'm an uncle! Lizzy said so!"

Dean has to huff a laugh at Sammy's overjoyed reaction to everything. He's now sure that Sam really is happy for them and looking forward to their child's arrival. It makes him relieved to know. Other hunters might scoff at the idea, be angry for them putting a child in that position in life. No Sam.

"Yup," Dean answers, reaching down to the floor and picking Sam up out of sheer instinct. He knows that if Sam comes back while Dean's holding him he'll pitch a total bitch fit but who the fuck cares. This young version of Sam gets him right in the heart every time. "You're gonna be Uncle Sammy."

"And you're gonna be a dad!" Sammy nearly yells in his ear. "And Dad will be a grandpa, right Dean?"

He freezes, sighing a bit as he glances at Bobby, making eye contact with him and exchanging nervous looks.

"Yeah, he'll be a grandpa." Dean leaves it there. He doesn't lie. John would be a grandfather if he was around.

"You should tell him, Dean. He'll be excited like me!"

Dean takes a second to answer, knowing that if John were still around he would be excited. "I'm sure he will."

"When is Dad coming back?" Sammy wonders aloud, asking something that Sam always used to ask as a kid. Whenever John left he'd ask once a day when he'd be back. Sam didn't understand John's job back then. He was clueless, just the way Dean wanted him to be.

"He's, ah… really busy working right now," Dean lies completely. "It's gonna be a while this time."

"Oh," Sammy answers, his face dropping from its previously bright one.

"Hey, you wanna help make everyone lunch?" Dean immediately distracts him, looking to block out the thoughts of their Dad.

"Macaroni and cheese!?" Sammy asks, once more finding his loud and excitable voice.

"Is that what you want?" Dean asks and Sammy nods his head rapidly. "Ok. Why don't you ask Bobby and Lizzy if that's what they want too."

Dean puts him down and Sammy is off, running to Bobby at his desk and asking him about lunch.

"Bobby, do you want macaroni and cheese for lunch!?"

"You kidding me!?" Bobby asks in an over-acted voice. "I would love some macaroni and cheese!"

"Yes!" Sammy smiles wide and runs off to find Lizzy.

"It's bad enough that the kid's a kid… now he's asking about Dad?" Dean laments to Bobby as he walks to his desk.

"Just go with it, Dean," Bobby keeps him in line. "You're doing good so far. You just gotta keep it up until we get an answer to this mess."

"How's it going with tracking the demon down?"

"Not great," Bobby sighs as he stands up and leafs through some pages. "I tried all the damn spells I know but they ain't working. She's gotta be hiding out somewhere."

"Then we need to find a stronger spell."

"Or an angel that will answer us."

"No shit," Dean grumbles as he washes a hand down his face. "Cass still won't get back to us. Such bullsh…"

"Lizzy wants macaroni and cheese too!" Sammy runs into the room and makes Dean's cursing stop short.

"Then let's do this, buddy," Dean says, switching right back into happy mode so Sammy doesn't understand that anything is wrong.

"You wanna try him again tonight?" Bobby suggests before Dean heads into the kitchen. "Maybe make a call  _with_  Lizzy and see if it works this time?"

"We will…"

"Dean!" Sammy calls out with his lack of patience as a kid. He grabs Dean's hand and starts yanking. "Come on! Everyone's hungry!"

"Yeah, I'm coming," Dean answers, giving Bobby a look that promises he will try again to reach Cass, and walks for the kitchen.

Sammy heads for a kitchen chair and starts pushing it across the linoleum floor to the counter. While he does that Dean digs in the cupboard for a blue box or two. Knowing Lizzy's appetite they need two.

"We need milk," Sammy reminds his brother as he starts to climb onto his chair once it's against the counter. "And butter… and… uh…"

"That's about it, Sammy," Dean lets him know that he's got it covered.

"What were we just talking about?" the pint sized hunter asks as he shakes his head. "What'd I come up here for?" He looks at the chair under his tiny feet and doesn't remember climbing onto it.

"We were gonna…" Dean starts when he pulls his head from the cupboard with two boxes of macaroni and cheese in hand. "…make lunch. But I'm thinking you're not as jazzed about that as you were a minute ago." He recognizes the change immediately.

"I reverted again, didn't I?" Sam asks with sadness.

"Yeah," Dean puts the boxes onto the counter and leans into it. "We were gonna make lunch for everyone."

"Macaroni and cheese?" he asks, grabbing one of the boxes with both hands. He peers at Dean with disbelief. "Seriously? When was the last time we ate this shit?"

"When we were kids," Dean answers back. "Sam, uh… you were gone for a while this time."

"How long was I out?" he wonders with worry.

"Not sure. You were with Lizzy for a while and then with me… I'd say at least a good ten minutes."

"Great," Sam slams the box down onto the counter with anger. "So what? This is just gonna get worse and worse? Each time lasts longer? What the hell!?"

"Calm down," Dean asks of his little brother, even if inside he freaking out just as hard.

"How am I supposed to do that, Dean!?" Sam shouts. "I can't control any of this!"

"You're still ok, man," Dean reminds, arms crossed over his chest with sheer determination. "What have I always told you?"

Sam rolls his eyes and sighs. "Nothing will ever get me as long as you're around."

"Damn straight, Sam," Dean returns. "Even if this scares the shit out of you, believe in that. I got you."

"I know," Sam huffs and drops his arms heavily to his sides. "I know, but…."

"But nothing. You can't control it, it freaks you out, I know. But fuck that. We'll figure it out. And we'll get ahold of Cass. He won't let this stand."

Sam nods small, accepting all that Dean tells him.

"So…" Dean smirks and picks up a box from the counter. "You still hungry?" He shakes the box and makes it rattle.

"A little," he admits stubbornly.

"Then I'm still cooking this up."

"You don't have to. I'm back now…"

"No way. You got me wanting the blue box blues. We're having macaroni and cheese."

"You eat like crap," Sam grumbles as starts to climb down from the kitchen chair to go back to the living room.

"This stuff isn't that bad for you… is it?" Dean asks, reading the side label with nutritional facts.

"It's not great." Sam walks away and into the living room. He climbs up on the couch silently while Lizzy watches him. She's got her legs going across the cushions now and Sam takes the small amount of free space on the other end.

"Welcome back, Sam-I-Am," she greets instantly.

"You knew that fast?" he questions her.

"So easy," she laughs. "You didn't have a stick up your ass twenty years ago." She grins at him.

"Funnier every day," Sam remarks with slight anger despite his small grin.

"At least I think so…" she laughs right back before reading on. She got her Sam to smile through all this so that's got to be worth something. She nudges him with her foot and when he looks at her she smiles warmly, reminding her of everything Dean just said to him silently. He grins a little wider back, the fear still in there, and they keep trudging on.

* * *

"Alright, let's do this," Dean says aloud when he and Lizzy make their way out to the old pickup truck on Bobby's lot that sits on the edge of a big clearing.

"He better be listening this time," Lizzy says with concern as Dean grabs her by the hips and lifts her, helping her take a seat on the truck bed. "Thanks." She smiles at him wide.

"Didn't think you were getting up there on your own these days, big momma," he jokes and Lizzy just laughs, knowing he'd never mean it. With all the times he's had to assure her that he still finds her incredibly attractive she no longer lets these digs get to her. Instead she takes them for what they are… Dean's joking around.

"Cass," Lizzy calls to their dog and pats the metal beside her. He jumps up and walks around the bed, quickly sitting next to her. She brings an arm around him and pets him, making sure he's close when they start calling for the angel with the same name. She doesn't want to confuse him.

Once Dean's next to her he shares a small smile before taking a deep breath.

"Castiel," he starts, lowering his head and closing his eyes. Lizzy does the same but rests her head on his shoulder. "We really could use your help right now."

"We know how busy you are," Lizzy adds. "And we know that you're trying to help us and help our son right now, which we do appreciate so much. But… Sam needs your help more right this second."

"Please, Cass," Dean goes for broke here. "He's scaring the shit outta me. I don't know what to do… we're kinda… uh, lost here…"

They both wait a moment and give him time. The angel never shoes.

"Where is he?" Dean turns to Lizzy and she furrows her brow with her eyes still closed.

She shakes her head. "Not sure… huh." Lizzy sighs and keeps pushing. "He's… shit, I think he's on Earth but, wherever he is, it's damn well protected. It's almost blocking him from me."

"Almost?"

"Yeah, almost… I can still sense him though…" Suddenly her eyes pop open and she sits up tall, looking straight ahead of them into the open field. "About damn time."

"Huh?" Dean asks but before she could respond Castiel is standing in front of them ten feet away, right where she was looking. "That's still a little creepy."

Lizzy just smiles quick at him before looking back to the angel. "Thank you so much for coming, Cass."

After a day of off and on prayers, he knew he had to come to them. Something is clearly wrong and, even if he was just speaking with Crowley of their deal in their mutual place to meet, the humans under his charge, his friends, are far more important.

"Clearly I'm needed," he says while stepping forward, feeling the urge to check on Lizzy's wellbeing before inquiring about the issue they called on him for. "How are you, Elizabeth?"

"Oh, I'm fine, Cass," Lizzy smiles small. "Just worried about Sam."

Without a word, Castiel walks up to her and places a hand on her stomach.

"Did you wanna buy me dinner first?" Lizzy jests as he closes his eyes and checks on her son. "Or at least flowers?"

"Samuel's doing well," he informs her, ignoring what he assumes is a bad joke. "Very well."

"We know," Dean nods.

"I just wanted to be sure," Castiel tells them. "I worry sometimes…"

"You have enough to worry about," Dean tells him as he jumps down from the truck bed. "We can do the worrying about the kid."

The angel just nods and moves on. "So what is it you need?"

"It's Sam," Lizzy starts but Dean takes over immediately with his fears and anxieties.

"We found this demon that we thought would help us figure out how to kill Eve. She's been around for a long time, who the hell knows how long, and we need answers so Bobby tracked her down. We thought we hit the jackpot when he said she was local so Sam and I went after her. Problem is… I think she was waiting for us, like she knew we'd come."

"Why do you assume that?" Castiel questions.

"She definitely wanted Sam," Dean explains. "She cornered him alone and did… something to him."

"She said some Latin words about purity, Sam remembered it," Lizzy explains further. "We have it written down in the house if it'll help you. Then he said a light shot out of her hand and blew him back across the room."

"Is he hurt?" Castiel wonders with confusion, thinking maybe they needed him to heal Sam up.

"No. He's little," Dean echoes the way Sam explained it the day before.

"Little?" the angel asks with confusion.

"He's young," Dean says.

"Young?" Castiel questions, not grasping what that means.

"He's about five years old physically," Dean spells it all out. "He's a kid again and, even if most of the time he's our normal, pissy mood having adult-Sam, he keeps going in and out of mentally being a kid again."

"He's had about four moments when he's reverted back to his childhood," Lizzy picks up. "His mind goes to when he was about five and everything he knows is strictly what he knew as a kid. When Sam was five John was still alive and he'd never met me yet. That's exactly where his memory is at when it happens."

"Very interesting," Castiel comments, his eyes wandering as he thinks.

"We can't seem to track down the demon again," Lizzy picks up. "We think she's gone deep."

"I may be able to find her if I can sense her from Sam," Castiel suggests. "Sometimes a demon's powers can leave behind a signature that I can pick up on."

"Works for me. Let's go see him then," Dean says instantly, ready for answers. He helps Lizzy down and they walk together to the house with the dog and their angel of the same name.

Once Dean opens the side door all they can hear is the loud and joyful laughter of a child. With one confused look Dean books it towards the sound. He finds Bobby and Sam on the cot in the study. It's a familiar scene for Dean, or at least it used to be. Bobby may be a gruff hunting grump but he always did have a soft spot for Sam and him when they were young. Right now, as Bobby tickles Sam to the point of explosive and uncontrollable laughter, Dean knows that Sammy's reverted to his five year old self and Bobby has gone right along with him.

"Say uncle!" Bobby tells him, nearly pinning the squirming kid down so he can't get away.

"No!" Sammy laughs out, his tiny limbs flailing about while failing to get him free.

"Say it!"

"Stop it!"

Castiel and Lizzy join Dean in just watching, none of them having the heart to break up the moment. Lizzy presses a hand over mouth to suppress her own laughter when the scene gets infectious.

"Boy, I'm not gonna stop 'til you say it."

"Uncle!" Sammy shouts out in a high-pitched squeal, unable to hold out anymore. "Uncle!" he repeats and Bobby immediately stops.

"About time," Bobby grins out and ruffles Sammy's hair.

"No fair, Uncle Bobby!" Sammy shouts at him, slightly upset at being bested by his uncle as he tries to catch his breath and fix his shirt.

" _Really_?" Dean finally asks with surprise at the old man after he's seen the display. Bobby just shrugs.

"He's cute," he excuses when he has no other answer.

"Who are you?" Sammy asks to Castiel when he sees the new stranger in the room.

"This is my friend," Dean explains, clapping the angel on the shoulder. "His name is Castiel."

"That's a funny name," Sammy giggles at the label.

"Hey," Bobby swats the little boy's knee to get his attention. "Be nice."

Sammy makes a sad face at this and looks back to the angel. "I'm sorry, Cat… siel."

"Um, it's  _Castiel_ ," the angel lightly corrects as he shifts uncomfortably on is feet. "And… apology accepted… young man."

"Relax," Lizzy says to Castiel with a smile as she leans into him a bit. "It's just Sam."

"Hey, uh, dude," Dean starts as he sits next to Sammy, putting he and Bobby on either side of the child and flanking him with people he knows and trusts. "Can you do me favor?"

"Sure," Sammy smiles up to him, his shaggy hair in his face. Dean pushes his hair back and meets his eye.

"Castiel's gonna give you a little checkup," Dean explains.

"Why?" he asks all wide-eyed and curious just like he always was as a kid.

"Well… he's kinda like a doctor," Dean quickly explains. "He just wants to make sure you're ok and all."

"But I'm not sick, Dean."

"We will see if that's true," the angel says quickly, walking right up to the pint-sized hunter and placing his palm on his forehead. He closes his eyes and searches deep, reading Sam over.

"Whoa, hey!" Sam suddenly shouts and flinches back from Castiel. "Fuck… Cass?" He looks up at the angel with shock.

"Welcome back, Sam," Lizzy says to him from standing behind Castiel when she recognizes the return of the adult Sam.

"Damn it," he complains, punching the complaint out loudly in his still so young voice. "How long?"

"Ask him," Dean jerks his thumb at Bobby and Sam looks over to him, all the while he lets Castiel keep his hand on his head.

"Uh, I'd says a good fifteen," he answers, not wanting to tell him at all. It really has been consistently longer each time. "Maybe twenty."

"Great. Well, what've you got, Cass? Because we're pretty shit out of luck here." Sam looks up at the angel with hope.

"I do not know the demon that did this," Castiel tells him, taking his hand back. "She is powerful, very powerful. Her aura she left behind is strong and intimidating. She's most likely old."

"How old we talking?" Dean question.

"Beginning of demons old," he answers right back. "She is among the first generations if she has the power to make this happen."

The fear and severity descends upon the group quickly with that information.

"So what the hell do we do now?" Sam asks with strong worries, his eyes pleading with Castiel for an answer or some form of direction.

The angel thinks quickly, remembering that his current partner in crime and deception is a very powerful demon… the head demon at that. He does have a source to run to and ask.

"Let me look into this," Castiel asks of them all. "I have some allies still, ones that may know of this demon and how to get to her."

"What, you got a demon in your back pocket these days or something?" Lizzy asks incredulously, think there's no way he would.

"No, no," he nervously replies. "Nothing like that. I just… give me some time. Watch after Sam until then."

"Yeah, ok…" Dean starts to agree but Sam cuts him off.

"Am I ok?" Sammy wonders, his voice right back to that same childish one he had just seconds ago. He's back to being a child all over again.

"That was disturbingly fast," Lizzy mentions with sheer concern.

"Uh, yes, Sam. You are just fine," Castiel tells him and plays it all off. "I need to talk to your family for a second…"

"Sammy, can you go find Cass?" Dean cuts in. "We can go walk him." Yes, they just came in from being outside with the dog but he needs a distraction.

"Ok!" Sammy answers with bright excitement, jumping down from the cot and running around the house. He already loves that dog so much that it was easy to use him against him. "Cass!"

"And get your jacket!" Lizzy shouts back at him, not wanting the kid to freeze outside.

"Ok!"

"What did you see?" Dean asks the angel when Sammy is gone.

"He is most certainly reverting into his five year old self," Castiel confirms. "Other than that he is healthy and fine. From what I see, with the increased frequency and length of the reversions, he will eventually become five year old Sam… permanently."

"So he's just gonna start over?" Lizzy asks with fear.

This is where Castiel tilts his head and looks at them strangely. "Would that be such a terrible fate for Sam?"

Dean, Bobby, and Lizzy both stare at him wordlessly, having no possible way to respond to that.

"Surely you would all admit that Sam's lot in life has not exactly been a good one," Castiel tries again, looking at the situation in a different light.

"Well, no…" Dean starts.

"And you say that most everything he has been through gets erased when he reverts to the Sam of his childhood?"

"Yeah," Lizzy answers hesitantly.

"Then… would a second chance be such a bad thing for a man that's had such a difficult and, at times, very bleak life?" Castiel watches the two process the idea. "The wall in his mind would no longer need to be there. The Cage would never have happened to him, along with his many losses and the horrors of hunting. Everything terrible that he knows would be…"

"Erased," Dean finishes, something in his chest jumping with the idea. "We could just let this whatever it is run its course, call it hitting Sam's reset button."

"Yes," Castiel confirms.

"No way," Lizzy shakes her head instantly.

"L, I'm not saying this is what we  _should_  do…"

"I don't like it, Dean," Lizzy simply tells her husband. "It's not fair."

"It's just something to think about…" Dean starts but Lizzy keeps going.

"There's a reason a demon did this to him," she reminds the two men. "They want him young. He's going to be wanted by at least that one very powerful demon now and most likely an army of others and we don't know why. He needs to be put back." Both Castiel and Dean stay quiet, knowing the danger a young Sam would be in. "And… that's just so wrong. That's totally immoral. He's a full grown man. We have no right to let him disappear, this whole person he's become just vanished, because we want that for him. We don't have the right to make that decision."

"He's never had a good life," Dean very quietly rebuts, his tone showing how much he is considering this idea. "L, you've seen what a disaster everything has left him. He could get the second chance that every single one of us deserves. Cass makes a good point. If we can't fix this… is it so bad to let him live right this time around?"

Lizzy looks back and forth between Dean and Castiel with shock, her eyes then landing on Bobby.

"What do you think?"

"I can't say it's such a terrible worst-case," Bobby admits. "I've been there, hon. I've seen what Sam's seen. I think our priority is to fix this, keep him adult and our Sam… but starting over with Sammy wouldn't be a bad plan B."

She just nods and keeps quiet. They make a really good point, and a do-over would be wonderful for Sam especially, but it leaves her nervous and feeling so wrong for thinking that way.

"I will do my best to solve this problem and not have to rely on resetting Sam," Castiel promises the group. "Keep a close watch on him and I will be back."

Castiel disappears as Sammy bounds into the room, coat on and leash already clipped to Cass' collar.

"Ready!?" he asks Dean, a wide smile on his face.

"Yup, let's go," Dean says, getting up and only sharing a glance at his wife, all the while thinking over this whole redo idea.

He can't say he hates this do-over idea, especially when Sammy holds out his hand for his big brother to take as they head out the door. The smile on Dean's face to see such a reliant, trusting, and small gesture on Sammy's part makes him long to get this chance to give Sam a better life.

Would it really be so wrong to raise Sam the right way and ditch the pain and loss?

* * *

 


	5. I'm Not a Girl, Dean!

* * *

Stopping in the doorway on the way to his own room, Dean looks in silently on his brother. The tiny lump under the covers is so damn small it still freaks him the hell out but the way the unruly brown hair peeks out the top of the covers still makes him smile through it all.

He does miss those days. Sam was a cute kid, even the manliest of men could admit that.

Knowing Sam is safe, Dean moves on without closing the door, keeping it open just a crack. He wants to be able to hear his brother if anything goes wrong tonight. That scary dream was something ferocious. Dean's not ready for Sam to go through that again.

"Out like a light?" Lizzy says when he walks into their bedroom.

"You know it," Dean tells her, mostly closing the door before walking to the bureau while kicking his boots off. "He gets worn out so fast."

"He's just a little guy," Lizzy shrugs, pulling the covers up over her while sitting in bed.

Dean nods and agrees as he pulls his Colt out of the back of his pants, putting on the safety and dropping it onto the nightstand on his side of the bed.

"You carried that all day?" she asks him with surprise.

"Nothing's getting the jump on Sam right now," he explains while undressing. "Anything comes after him… I'm ready."

Lizzy smiles at him. "You're getting very protective of your little brother, you know?"

"He needs help," he returns with, feeling that it should be obvious to her.

"I know," she assures him. "I get it. And… I like it."

Dean pauses mid-flannel-removal and stares at her with surprised eye.

"What?" Lizzy wonders with his reaction.

"I thought you hated when I get overprotective."

"Of  _me_ ," Lizzy laughs a little. "I hate when you watch over me like a dad, but with Sam right now… it's different."

He just narrows his eyes and peers at her suspiciously.

"You're gonna be a great dad, I know that already… but seeing you now, with a little Sam, it makes me excited," she lets him know what she's been thinking all day. It's true. He's excellent when Sammy shows up and it makes her really look forward to their son coming into this world so that Dean can be exactly that person every day.

Dean arches an eyebrow, throws a smirk her way and lowers his pants, saying nothing to her.

"What?" she asks once again.

"You got turned on by that," he tells her when he can see it in her eyes while kicking off his jeans and grabbing the hem of his t-shirt. He pulls it over his head and gestures to his half naked form. "You now want this because I'm so awesome, don't you?"

Lizzy laughs out loud in a patronizing way at this one. "You're funny."

"No, no, no," he shakes his head and drops his clothing, getting into bed with her wearing just his boxer briefs and a smile. "Don't pull that denial shit. I'm gonna rule at this dad thing and it makes you want me."

He settles in next to her, an elbow propping up his head while lying on his side looking at her.

"You can't keep your hands off of me when I go all dad, can you?"

Wrinkling her expression, Lizzy holds up her hands in front of them both. "I don't know, they seem to be doing just fine without being on you."

"Hey," Dean says in his most suave voice he can muster and Lizzy returns her focus to him. "It's ok," he assures her. "I understand."

"Shut it…" Lizzy rolls her eyes.

"I'm smoking hot and a DILF. I get it," he keeps taking as he grabs one of her wrists and presses her hand into his chest. "Do what you must."

"Oh my God…"

"Just be gentile," he asks of her, keeping a straight face despite his joking.

"Cocky son of a bitch," Lizzy tells him with a wide smile on her face before pulling him close and kissing him. She hates, absolutely hates that his overconfidence is something that turns her on, but it definitely does. She should be annoyed by it, want to smack him for it sometimes… and don't get her wrong, she's been tempted before… but most of the time she just wants to get him naked when he acts like that.

It's a shame that he knows this all too well.

"Mm," she hums with the feel of his lips on hers.

Dean's hands quickly comb into her hair and keep her close, humming when he feels her hands slide lower down his body.

"Told you so," Dean says to her between kisses when she grabs him through his underwear.

"Hey, what can I say? I love me an arrogant prick," Lizzy responds with as she reaches inside his clothing, wrapping her hand around his length.

"Oh, thank God for that," Dean jokes through a sigh as she starts to work him over, kissing his jaw as she does. Dean leans back into his pillow and closes his eyes.

"Or thank your awesome wife?" she giggles against his neck before her tongue outlines his ear.

"Yes, thank my awesome wife," he says in a lost voice as she touches him. "Uh, you keep this up and I'm gonna fu…"

"Dean?" a young voice calls out at the same time as the creaking of the old bedroom door opening is heard.

"Shit," Dean whispers harshly as he pulls the covers closely around him and Lizzy before lifting his head to look at the source of the sound. "Sammy?"

They both hear a sniffling sound and Lizzy sits all the way up in bed, luckily still wearing her tank and cotton shorts she went to bed in.

"Honey, you ok?" she asks him when she gets a good look at him. The little boy is standing there in his pajamas which consists of a t-shirt and some sweatpants she found for him the day before and he's hugging the Patriots teddy bear Dean bought for their son, his face half hidden behind the stuffed animal.

Sammy shakes his head no and they both know they're talking to the kid version of Sam.

"Was it a nightmare?" Dean wonders, sitting up also.

"Yeah," he says against the fur of the teddy bear, his eyes looking frightened and glassy as they peek up from behind it.

"You wanna tell us about it?" Lizzy asks, looking to comfort the child as much as she can.

" _L_ ," Dean immediately whispers in a harsh, warning tone.

She looks at him with apologetic eyes. "Hot Shot, look at him," Lizzy says, nudging her head towards Sam. "He's so scared."

When Dean looks over the sad, frightened boy it hits him in the heart… and makes him realize that the fun he was about to have is now in serious jeopardy.

"Fuck me," Dean complains too quietly for Sammy to hear as he reaches down to the floor by the bed for his shirt to put on.

"Come on in, sweetheart," Lizzy says to him and waves him over.

His tiny feet pounding across the wooden floor. Sammy then climbs up the foot of the old bed and crawls over the comforter. Lizzy pulls back the blankets in the middle of she and Dean and Sammy folds himself right in, squeezing into the small space between the two adults.

"Alright, dude," Dean sigh once he pulls his shirt on. "What's going on?" He brings his arm around Sammy' shoulders like he always used to when he'd be upset as a kid.

"It was a mean man," he says quietly, leaning his light weight into Dean's side and getting much more comfortable instantly.

"What did the mean man do?" Dean wonders, ducking his head to get a good look at the boy.

"He was coming after you," Sammy says quietly, his voice getting shaky with the thought. "He was mean and he hit you. Then he threw you in the air and you fell on a dumpster."

Lizzy picks up one of his small hands and grips it tight. She can feel him shaking with how upset the dream made him.

"But I'm ok, Sammy," Dean tries to calm him. "I'm right here. Nothing hurt me."

"Dean, you were bleeding," Sammy says as he peers up at his big brother, worry in his eyes. "Your mouth was bleeding and I couldn't help. I was stuck."

"Stuck?" Dean questions.

"I wanted to help you but I was stuck."

Dean sighs again, heavier this time. The vampire. Sam was soulless and let Dean get turned. He knows what this memory is.

"Sammy, look at me," Dean directs to his brother. "Do I look like I'm hurt?"

"No…"

"Because I'm not. It's not real. What you saw was just a bad dream."

"But I…"

"No way, no buts, kiddo," Dean keeps trying. "If that was real then you would have helped me, right?"

Sam just stares at him a beat.

"You wouldn't let some dude beat me up like that, would you?"

"No," Sammy answers, this time with more determination.

"See? There you go. It was fake."

Sammy nods his head and relaxes, his hands no longer trembling. It had to be true. Dean would never lie to him.

"You gonna be able to go back to sleep?" Dean asks, looking to lose the kid in his bed for some time alone with his wife.

Sammy's shoulders tense up at the idea. "Can I stay here?"

"Of course you can," Lizzy answers immediately, not having the heart to send the boy packing for the night.

"Lizzy…" Dean warns but she stops him.

"It's just for tonight," Lizzy says calmly.

"What about before, what we were getting into…"

"It can wait," Lizzy shrugs and starts to settle in.

"And when he wakes up like his normal self?" Dean asks, looking for what her plan is for when adult Sam wakes up sandwiched between the two of them.

"We'll deal then," she brushes it off before looking at Sammy. "Lay down, hon."

Sammy does so, getting comfortable. He lays on his stomach like always and splays out like the kid he is, one hand gripping Lizzy's upper arm and the other on Dean's shoulder.

"Oh yeah, this is a  _great_  idea," he grumbles and turns off the lamp on the nightstand.

"Get used to it, daddy. This is what kids do," Lizzy jests, brushing hair out of Sammy's face. "You know, we really gotta get you a haircut."

"No!" Sammy instantly yells, freaking out with the idea.

"Yeah, don't joke about that," Dean warns remembering this argument they'd had multiple times. "He hates haircuts. Why do you think his hair's so girlishly long in the first place?"

"I'm not a girl, Dean!" Sammy gets angry at the jab.

"I'm just kidding," he says and nudges the little boy with an elbow.

"I don't want to get my hair cut off," Sam keeps on the subject, still very worried.

"You don't have to," Lizzy tells him. "I was joking about that." Kind of….

"Go to sleep, Sammy," Dean finally says, ready for some silence. If he wasn't getting laid at least he can catch some real shut eye for once.

"Ok," Sammy says right back, putting his head down on Dean's pillow and closing his eyes.

She couldn't help herself. Lizzy pushes his hair away from his face again and kisses his forehead. "Night, Sammy."

"Night, Lizzy," he says in a yawn right back, finally overcoming his fear now that he has people he trusts around him.

* * *

He can feel the sun shining on his face before he opens his eyes. It's warm and soothing, the brightness hitting his eyes even through his closed lids.

Sam feels rested for once, and comfortable. Cocooned in blankets and bundled up tight in the middle of winter doesn't feel too bad. He's cozy and contented.

Taking his time, Sam lifts his eye lids to looks around. He blinks the sunlight out of his vision slowly, adjusting to it as he wakes. He sees bits of the room he's in and realizes quickly it isn't the nursery. Shit. He feels like he time traveled all over again.

It's then that he discovers why exactly he's so warm and tucked it. When peering to the left he sees Dean. He's still asleep and Sam has one hand oddly fisted into the short sleeve of his t-shirt. This is too much like a replay of yesterday morning. Sam loosens his grip until he's let go completely, luckily not even stirring Dean in the least while doing so. Sam then turns to the right.

He finds his other hand resting on Lizzy… right on her larger than normal breast.

This time there is no finesse to the way Sam separates himself from his bedmate. He snatches his hand sharply away, shaking it with disgust.

"Fuck this," he whispers to himself in his higher pitched voice as he very slowly sits up from the place crammed between the two people he's woken up next to. They've got him tightly surrounded and right now it's not exactly as welcoming as he thinks it probably was last night when he got there.

Moving painstakingly slow, he pushes the covers down and untangles himself, all the while being as stealthy as possible.

"Sammy?" Lizzy whispers out his name and he knows he wasn't as slick as the thought.

"Uh, yeah," Sam says, giving up on trying not to disturb them.

"Oh, morning Sam," she corrects when she can hear the difference in his tone already.

"Morning… Lizzy," he says awkwardly as Sam climbs out of their bed and stands at the foot of it, looking at Lizzy and Dean as they wake up.

"Hey, man," Dean says to him, washing a hand down his face to get rid of the sleep.

"Um, I'm gonna… go…" Sam says, pointing to the door in his pajamas and sleep-disheveled hair.

"Unbunch those panties, Sam," Dean says, rolling over and pulling the comforter back up over his shoulders. He closes his eyes and looks for a few more minutes of peaceful and thoughtless sleep. "You had a nightmare. You were freaked."

"Still weird," Sam responds with, shuffling his feet a bit and looking out the door.

"Sam, it's cool," Lizzy tries again. "You were a different version of you. Don't be embarrassed."

"Whatever," Sam answers and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. He pauses there, thumping his forehead against the wooden door once with a sigh, before contemplating taking a shower. He hasn't done that since the change and that was two days ago at this point. Or maybe he'll just make some breakfast….

"Poor guy," Lizzy worries from her place in bed, propped up by her elbows as she stares at the now closed bedroom door. She hears his small footsteps walk down the hall and disappear down the stairs.

"He'll be ok," Dean says half into the pillow he's resting on as he reaches out for her blindly. His arm finds her and pulls her close.

"It's got to be hard on him though," Lizzy continues to air her concerns while lying back down and looking up at the ceiling, her side against him as he curls into the warmth and comfort of finally being with just her. "I can't imagine going through this, being like that all of a sudden."

"Sam's a tough dude," Dean says in a sigh and settles in. "He'll be ok."

"We need to talk to him," Lizzy states what she thinks is the obvious.

"I don't think it'll help much…"

"Dean," she looks over at him with slight anger. "The guy is slowly disappearing. He deserves to know what the consequence will be if we can't fix this."

Dean sighs heavily, just wanting a little quiet and solitude before starting yet another day with yet another pressing and horrific situation to deal with. "Five minutes. Please, just five minutes and we'll get up and check in with Sam, talk to him if he hasn't really come to terms with everything yet."

"Fine," she relents reluctantly. Lizzy hates letting things hang over her head any longer than they have to. She just wants to talk to Sam about the possibly bad future. And she's dying to hear where Dean stands on the whole five year old Sammy thing. "If I let you stay in bed you have to answer one thing though."

"Shoot," Dean says, eyes still closed and still enjoying her presence in bed with him.

"How do you feel about possibly raising a five year old?"

Breathing out hard with the hefty question, he thinks for a minute. "I think it'll be just like anything else. We do what we have to for family."

"Oh, I know, but… I mean, we've been planning for one kid, our first kid, for months now and here we are, possibly about to have two kids at once. This is a big ass change."

"It's not that big," Dean explains, believing this to be no big deal as his hand drags calmly over her very large stomach. "I already did it once with Sam. He was easy. He reads, he loves Thundercats, and he eats like a bird even when little. Sam was a good kid, unlike me. I bet our son will be way harder to raise than Sam would be."

Lizzy huffs with disbelief. "You make it sound so easy."

"I'm not saying that. It'll definitely be hard. Sam's an independent little shit when it comes down to it but… if Sam stays young then we raise him right this time around. And it won't be the worst thing to happen."

"So basically… we'd be his parents," Lizzy says with acceptance.

"Are you ok with that?" Dean asks, opening his eyes for the first time. He just assumed they would raise Sam together if he gets stuck and never asked her how she felt. He just figured she'd be along for the ride, totally in.

"I mean, I'm not gonna just let the kid fend for himself," Lizzy responds. "And we want more than one anyways, right?"

Dean laughs quietly with that.

"At least with him I didn't have to actually  _have_  him," she jokes.

"See, it's working out already," Dean jests right back. "I know this isn't how you envisioned life or whatever…"

"None of this is how I envisioned life, Hot Shot," Lizzy jumps in with a knowing grin. "So fuck it. You know I would never let Sam down, no matter what age."

Dean smiles at her for that one. "You see? That's the kinda shit that makes me love you."

"Stop sucking up. I already told you I'd help." Lizzy smirks at him and Dean presses a quick kiss to her lips. "And I'm getting up."

"Noooooo…"

"Whiner," Lizzy laughs while fighting to untangle herself from his limbs. "I'm gonna go feed Sam. Eggs if he's our Sam, pancakes if he's little Sam."

Dean just grins from ear to ear as she pulls on a sweatshirt and heads out of the room, nearly waddling at this point with how big she is. And he just freakin' loves how she walks these days.

"You're awesome!" he yells out to her once she's in the hallway.

"I know!" Lizzy shouts back her answer and continues down the stairs. She yawns a bit while tying her hair up into a ponytail and realizes Cass wasn't by the bedroom door waiting for her. Bobby must have taken him out.

When she rounds the corner to the kitchen she stops short, her jaw dropping with what she sees.

"I didn't meant to!" Sammy excuses immediately as he stands in the middle of the linoleum floor while covered head to toe in white powder and what looks like goopy batter. She now knows why her dog ditched her and their usual morning routine as she sees him licking Sam's hands clean of whatever is currently coating them, earning a free treat for himself.

"What happened here?" Lizzy asks, surveying the extreme mess with wide eyes.

"I tried to make breakfast," he tells her sheepishly, looking at the destroyed ground.

"I can see that," she nearly laughs with the obvious answer.

"But I spilled the box," he points to the pancake mix box on the floor that tipped over from the counter.

" _And_  the bowl?" Lizzy wonders, walking over the dusted floor with her bare feet. She picks up the metal bowl off the floor for him, the puddle of thick mix spreading wider by the second.

"Yes…" he trails off, not looking up to her with shame. "I'm sorry…"

"Were you trying to make us all breakfast?" she questions him in a warm tone to let him know he's not in too much trouble. When Sammy's little head nods in answer she smiles and grabs the paper towels off the counter. "That was a very nice idea, Sammy. You're a very nice person for that."

Sammy just looks down at his hands that are covered in batter as Cass moves on to licking the splatter off his cheek, thinking he's still in trouble.

"But next time, just ask for a little help," Lizzy explains as she wipes up the batter puddle.

"I wanted to do it by myself."

"I know you did," Lizzy assures him, knowing how independent Sam is at any age. "But it's ok to get help when you're still a kid."

"But I'm a big kid."

"Oh, are you?" she lightly challenges.

"Yup. Dean says so." His little face is set with truth.

"You believe everything your brother tells you?" Lizzy questions him, thinking he probably does at this point.

"No."

"No!?" she wonders in disbelief.

"Well, I'm not a girl…." Sammy answers, his arms flying from his sides.

To this Lizzy just laughs as she tosses out the dirty paper towels and grabs a dishtowel, wetting it with warm water in the sink.

"No you are not," she agrees. "But even if you're a big kid it's ok. Big kids need help sometimes, just like adults do."

"They do!?" Sammy asks with shock.

"Yup. It's totally true. And you know what?"

"What?" he looks up at her as she walks to him.

Lizzy crouches low on the floor, the move awkward with the size of her stomach, and starts to wipe his sticky hands clean.

"I kinda wish you had asked me to cook with you," he smiles a little. "I think it would've been fun."

Sammy gives her a funny look. "You're not mad?"

"I'm not happy because we have to clean this up," she tells him with honesty. "But I'm not mad at you. You were just trying to be nice. I think that's sweet of you."

"Dad would be really mad at me," Sammy says, knowing his father wouldn't look too kindly on this mess he made.

"I'm not your dad," Lizzy reminds him. "And if this happens again I might be mad because we talked about it and you know better now but I'll let it go this time if you help me clean up."

Sammy lets free a little smile at this. He's too happy to have someone take a moment and explain right from wrong instead of yell. Lizzy must really like him.

"Alright," Lizzy starts as she stand up. She grabs a dust pan and brush from under the sink. "I'll sweep if you pick it up the piles?"

"Ok!" Sammy says cheerfully and takes the items from her, ready to help her clean.

Lizzy starts to sweep up the pancake mix dust in the room as Sammy points out the places she missed until it's in a big pile in the middle of the room.

"What happened in here?" Dean asks as he walks in to find the two cleaning up what was surely a huge disaster.

"We had a little breakfast mishap," Lizzy cryptically explains. "But we're being responsible people and cleaning up after ourselves, right Sammy?"

"Right!" he answers while brushing the pile into the dust pan, his tongue hanging out as he does. He's concentrating so hard on the task at hand that he doesn't even looking up at Dean when he comes in the room.

Dean looks to Lizzy and gives her an impressed expression. He's liking the way she handled this situation. He remembers how short tempered their dad was about these things. He hated how quickly he'd blow up about accidents and every time it happened Sam would get so upset that he let down their father but he'd never learn anything from it. Accidents happen and Lizzy's teaching him that instead of yell at him. Damn, she really is going to be kickass at this motherhood thing.

Sammy tries to lift the very full dustpan and almost dumps the entire thing on the floor again.

"Whoa, hey!" Dean says and rushes to help. He puts a hand under the pan and takes some of the weight off of Sam's tiny grip. "You got it?"

"I got it," Sammy assures when he readjusts his hold. He carries it to the trash and dumps it out on his own.

"Nice job, Sammy," Dean tells him as the boy puts the dustpan and brush back under the sink. Dean turns to look at Lizzy. "You too, momma."

"Thanks, and you're just in time to make pancakes with us, big brother!" she says with bright, overdone excitement.

"Dean! Make breakfast with us!" Sammy jumps up with excitement and rushes to scramble back up onto the kitchen chair that's by the counter. "Make the ones you made before!"

Dean looks at Sammy with confusion. "What ones are those?"

"The ones with the smiley faces," he reminds, pulling himself up to stand on the chair. "They had chocolate chip eyes and mouth, remember?"

"Um… yeah…" Dean nods when he thinks about it for a second. "Shit, yeah. I do."

"Language," Lizzy says and lightly smacks his stomach for the swearing.

Dean rolls his eyes. "Yeah, I remember that. We had rented a house for a month and one Sunday I tried to make breakfast."

"Tried?" Lizzy smiles out as she helps Sammy pour more mix from a new box she got out of the cupboard into the bowl she rinsed out.

"Yeah… I burnt 'em the first time." Dean smirks with a little embarrassment.

"What were you, like, nine?" she wonders.

"About that. And I tried again. I made a second batch and they came out better. Trial and error and all."

"And they had faces on them and they were really good," Sammy tells Lizzy, remembering it like it was yesterday because for him it almost was.

"Well, Uncle Bobby isn't much of a chocolate chip kinda guy so I don't think he has any around here," Lizzy explains while ducking her head into the refrigerator. "But… we do have these." She holds out the plastic carton of blueberries she bought a few says before. Ever since she got pregnant she's been eating a whole lot better out of instinct.

"Can we make blueberry faces, Dean?" Sammy asks him.

"That can work," Dean tells him happily, ruffling Sam's hair as he passes him on his way to the oven. He puts the biggest frying pan on the burner and warms it up.

"Yes!" Sammy cheers as Lizzy hands him a measuring cup.

"When it hits this line right here," she points to the one cup line. "Tell me to stop pouring, ok?"

"Ok," Sammy answers and bends down to watch as Lizzy pours milk into the cup, his face already concentrated on his very important task.

She pours… and pours… and goes past the one cup line.

"Sammy?" Lizzy asks and he doesn't budge. "Sammy?"

"What am I looking at?" Sam asks seriously as he stands up tall, his hands immediately shaking his hair out. Powered mix falls from his locks. "And why the fuck is my hair covered in dust?"

"You had a pancake mishap," Lizzy lets him know, putting the milk carton down on the counter. "Tried to make breakfast yourself."

Sam closes his eyes with sheer frustration before looking around him. "There's no mess here."

"We cleaned it up," she tells him.

"Damn it, how long was I gone then?" Sam worries as he knows it had to be a long time.

"A while this time," Dean breaks it to him. "Ah, sit down, Sammy." Dean motions for the dinner table. "I'm gonna make some coffee. I think we need to hash this whole thing out."

* * *

 


	6. The Three Hardest Words

* * *

"How sure is he?" Sam asks with a stern look as they all sit in the study, Bobby now back from his errands and the attempted pancake breakfast now long forgotten.

"Didn't seem like Cass was questioning what he found in there," Dean answers as he points at Sam's head from the chair next to him.

"Cass was very honest with us," Lizzy adds on from the cot by the window. "As much as he might not've wanted to be. He knows that over time… you'll permanently become the five year old you."

"So what happens to the me of right now?" Sam questions with a little panic in his younger voice.

"That seems to be the way it'll go," Bobby nods quietly.

Squeezing his eyes shut for a second, Sam bows his head and looks once more to the small, child-sized hands in his very tiny lap. "After everything we've been through…"

"Sam…" Dean starts, ready to spew some brotherly, it'll be ok bullshit but Sam stops him.

"No!" he near shouts and snaps his focus onto Dean. "How much more shit are we supposed to deal with!?"

No one can answer that so it stays quiet for a second.

"I mean, for starters,  _Hell_ ," he starts the huge list. "Lucifer and, and Michael, Azazel taking mom and then dad. And, and, and  _Lou_ … Lizzy's Nephilim shit and my demon crap… and Sammy. His future… fuck, we've already lost every one we've ever had outside of this room. Now… now me!?"

"We're not gonna lose you," Lizzy says unflinchingly.

"You're gonna lose the now-me, the adult me that knows what I know and is capable of fighting," Sam reminds her. "It's all hands on deck right now. Between the Mother of All and Sammy's destiny… you guys need me the way I'm supposed to be."

"I know, Sam," Dean says in a quiet yet sure voice. "We really need you. We wanna fix this."

"But you wouldn't hate it if you couldn't," Sam takes a wild guess, letting his anger out in maybe not the best way.

"What does that mean?" Dean questions him, not liking the comment at all.

"It means… you guys wouldn't be too upset if I stayed five."

"Sam, that's not true," Bobby tries to rebut the idea but Sam hears none of it.

"Oh no?" the little voice challenges before looking back to his brother. "So you're saying that every time I pop out of these little kid head trips I'm not seeing you and Lizzy happy? Enjoying me being a kid again? Probably too much?" He knows what he's seen. Lizzy and Dean look genuinely content every time, their faces smiling and attitudes so much lighter. They seem like whole new people.

"Sam… we're just trying to treat you the way we would any kid. We're not trying to scare the shit out of the five year old you," Lizzy tries to explain. "We don't know what else to do here."

"Don't treat me any different!" Sam suddenly shouts when the frustration overwhelms him.

"You haven't seen the kid version of yourself," Bobby tries to spell it out for him. "Sam, you wouldn't understand anything we'd tell you if we were honest. We have to treat you the age you act."

"Bobby's right," Lizzy rallies behind him.

"You know, I'm not some practice run for  _your_  Sammy," Sam spits out with frustration. He only half believes what he's saying but the fear and anxiety is making his mouth run.

And this is where Dean's brow lowers and his expression goes somewhere very dark. "Are you fucking kidding me with that?"

Sam grits his teeth and stares at his brother, not backing down.

"Is that really what you think is happening here?" Dean asks Sam with a dangerous tone, no longer caring if he's a pint-sized version or not.

"I don't know what to think…"

"Well start with getting that one out of your head!" Dean shouts. "We've been trying to help you this whole time. No one has left this house in days. All we've done is read and research in between taking care of you and keeping you safe when you go all little kid! Or when we're not sucking up our pride completely and asking Cass for his help because we want you back to normal!"

Sam can see how wrong he was now, his suspicions clearly not at all true. "You guys just looked so happy."

"We're not!"

"Ok, man. I didn't…."

"That's right. You didn't!" Dean fires right out. "You have been my number one since the day you were born. All I have ever done is do what's best for you at the expense of doing _anything_ for myself!"

"Dean…" Bobby tries to intervene and slow the anger but it's too late.

"And I know what's best for you at any age!" Dean ignores Bobby, this frustration clearly coming from more than just Sam's comment that has set him off. "If you even think for a second that I don't want to get you back, get my brother back the way he's supposed to be, then fuck you, Sam! I've proven myself to you so many times! How many more is it gonna take until you get it in your head that I will  _never_  let you down!?"

When Sam's chin quivers and eyes grow too wide with the loud yell of Dean's angry voice Dean knows he's no longer talking to Sam.

"Sammy?" Dean lowers his voice to a calm place and lightens his expression.

The little boy backs up in the chair he's in and shies away from Dean, leaving the older hunter brokenhearted and far beyond remorseful.

"Oh, no… Sammy, I didn't…" Dean tries to explain and when he moves closer to the boy Sammy turns away in fear and climbs down from his seat. He runs around the desk and crashes into Bobby's legs where he sits, hugging tight to his knees.

Dean stays put while watching as Bobby picks his little brother up and places him on his lap, Sammy turning into him and crying. It hurts. It hurts so much to see Sammy this sad when it's his fault.

"Sammy, I'm sorry," Dean tries to say but Sammy continues to cry while frightened into Bobby's shirt. Bobby looks over at Dean and shakes his head calmly, letting him know it'll be fine.

"I think Sammy here just needs a minute," Bobby says to Dean as he brings his arms around the sobbing boy. "I'll talk to him once he calms down. It'll be fine."

"If I knew he was…" Dean starts to excuse himself.

"I know, Dean," Bobby says and then glances at Lizzy for some assistance.

"C'mon, Hot Shot," she says lightly, pushing up off the cot and standing. She walks to him and grabs his hand. "Let's get Cass out for a walk."

Dean glances at her before looking at Sammy one more time. He made his brother that upset. He can't remember ever doing that before. He feels like the scum of the Earth.

"Dean, please?" Lizzy tries again and squeezes his hand. He realizes he does need to let it go and give Sammy time. He doesn't want to, not at all, but he should.

Silently he gets up and lets Lizzy lead him out of the room, all the while he can hear Sammy's little voice choke out cries a fright and let down.

* * *

"Alright, son," Bobby says as he pulls Sammy away from him once they're alone so that he can see his face. "Start talking. What's with the waterworks?"

"Dean scared me," Sammy explains in a quiet voice that's still hiccupping with sadness.

"I know he scared you but he isn't mad 'atcha."

"He  _is_  mad at me," Sammy turns it right back around. "He yelled at me because he's mad at me."

"Why do you think he's made at you?" Bobby pries, trying to understand where Sammy's head is.

"Because…" Sammy starts to answer and it's then that he doesn't understand why Dean is mad at all. He can't figure it out. "I don't know."

"You don't know because he's not mad," Bobby explains to him as the child wipes his eyes. "He's not mad at you, Sammy. He's mad at a lot of things but you definitely ain't one of them."

"Why'd he yell at me then?" Sammy questions, the tears no longer falling through the reassurance Bobby gives him but the wet trails down his cheeks are still shining in the daylight. Bobby swipes a hand down his little face to get rid of them.

"Because sometimes when adults have too much going on in their lives they get angry. And sometimes that anger gets put on the wrong person. This time you were the wrong person."

Sammy just sniffles once and sits there, not sure what to do or say in return. He's just so surprised by the outburst from his brother. Sure, Dean's gotten mad and yelled at him before when he was annoying or he asked too many questions but he's never yelled like that before. That… that was much scarier than anything he's ever seen from Dean before.

"Does Dean still like me?" Sammy asks with his head down. "I said I was sorry to Lizzy and even helped clean up the mess."

"What mess?" Bobby questions, not having been around to see the whole debacle play out.

"I tried to make pancakes alone because I'm big now but I spilled everything."

"And you think he's mad at you because of that?"

Sammy shrugs his shoulders in answer.

"No, son. That's not it," Bobby tries to reassure him. "Especially not if you said you were sorry and cleaned up after yourself. You did the right thing."

He doesn't exactly understand this whole not being mad at him thing. His dad would have exploded. But Lizzy wasn't even a little upset.

"Lizzy was nice to me."

Bobby smiles when Sammy moves on, his young mind ever shifting and letting the unexpected moment with Dean go for the moment.

"Yeah, she tends to be like that," Bobby tells him.

"I like her," Sammy lets him know as he begins fiddling with a loose thread on Bobby's flannel.

"I like her too."

"Is she like a mom?" Sammy wonders and looks up to Bobby. The older man could swear he sees some hope in his eyes with the oddly asked question.

"Well, she's gonna be real soon," he explains right back. "Soon as that baby's born she'll be a mom."

"But is she like a mom?" he clarifies when Bobby doesn't answer right.

"What do you mean?"

"Is she a mom for me too?" the little boy asks with simple innocence.

To this Bobby huffs a small laugh. "That girl's kinda like a mom for all of us, kid."

"She's really nice," Sammy repeats his previous thought. "And I don't have a mom, not like the other kids do."

"Uh, Sammy… Lizzy's not your mom, not really," Bobby tears off that band aid in one quick move and the boy looks up at him with a once more sad expression. "But she is your sister-in-law."

"Sister-in-law?"

"Yeah, she's like your sister, and you've never had one of those either."

"Just a big brother."

"That's right," Bobby agrees with a smile. "She's gonna be there for you just like Dean always is. Anything you need you can go to her just like you can go to Dean and me. She loves you and she's a part of this family."

"Ok," he says to him while taking a second to think about that. She's been so kind to him since he's met her. Lizzy let him sleep with her and Dean last night when he was scared, she helped him clean up the mess he made earlier, and just being around her makes him feel better. "I think I love her too. She's really nice to me and she's pretty and she lets me walk her dog."

"Those are some very good reasons to love someone," Bobby laughs out at this explanation. "And I bet if you tell her that she'd be very happy."

"I will." Sammy nods his head, his hair flopping in his face a bit.

"You know, I think Dean would feel better if you told him that too."

"He feels bad?" Sammy wonders, not understanding the previous moment they had.

"He feels very bad," Bobby explains. "He didn't mean to yell at you before and it made him sad. He feels very sorry for doing that and I think if you tell him it's ok he won't be so sad about it."

"Ok. Can I go outside then?" Sammy asks up to Bobby, clearly feeling much better about the debacle between him and his brother now that Bobby talked to him.

"Sure. Put your coat on first." Bobby drops him on the floor and Sammy's off and running. Feeling quite proud of himself, Bobby gets up to do the same. When the Winchester boys were young it was so easy to talk through their problems. The issues they had were so small compared to nowadays and he misses the simplicity Sammy's presence is reminding him of.

* * *

"It's not a big deal, Dean," Lizzy promises as she stands by the Impala with her very upset husband. The second he got outside with her he walked right to his car and leaned his back up against the driver's side, arms crossed and back hunched with upset. "He'll get over it in a few minutes. He's a kid. They move on fast."

"That's not the point," Dean rebuts immediately, still looking at his boots. "That kid got yelled at so much growing up. The moment Mom died was the moment he became a soldier. Dad was on his ass the second he could walk and contribute. And I wasn't always much better."

"What do you mean?" she asks him, moving in next to him and rubbing his upper arm in support.

"I wasn't…." Dean sighs. "After Mom died I was not… I had my moments. I would snap sometimes. Sammy never deserved it either. He would ask about her and I wouldn't talk about her. I couldn't. Instead I yelled to shut him up."

"You were rightfully angry."

"Yeah, and I was wrongfully a dick," Dean points out, looking at her with such sad eyes. "He never deserved the shit he got from dad and me. I wanted to be better to him this time. I should know better…"

"And he changed halfway through a conversation," Lizzy rebuts. "Hot Shot, how could you have known that would happen?"

She makes a very good point, he thinks. "I just want it all to be better. I want it to be happier this time if he's gonna get stuck like this."

"It already is," Lizzy assures him. "And like I said, he's gonna rebound in no time. Sammy loves you to death. You're his idol. You're fine."

"Hell of an idol I'm being…" Dean starts to say when the side door flies open. He and Lizzy both look up to see Sammy in the doorway.

"Dean!" he shouts out when he sees his brother standing by their car.

They watch on as Sammy tries to get down the steps as quickly as possible, taking the steps one at a time and coming across much cuter than he ever intended too. Dean smiles immediately to see him, rushing as fast as a five year old can with a bright smile on his face.

Once he's done with the steps he starts running.

"Sammy, I'm really sorry, dude," Dean says as he crouches to the ground to be on the same level to apologize to his brother.

Sammy doesn't slow down as he approaches and plows right into his big brother, his short arms around Dean's neck as he squeezes hard.

"It's ok, Dean," Sammy tells him while in the hug. "Bobby said you didn't mean it anyways."

"I didn't," Dean confirms for him and hugs him tight right back. "I didn't mean any of it. You didn't do anything wrong. This was all my fault."

"Don't be sad," Sammy tells his older brother.

"Are  _you_  sad?" Dean turns it around, holding Sam away from him to look at him. "You looked pretty freakin' upset after I yelled."

"No," Sammy easily explains. "I talked to Uncle Bobby. He said you weren't mad at me, just at a lotta other stuff. And he said I should tell you something."

"What's that?" Dean has to ask.

"I love you, Dean!" Sammy says with a bright smile and hugs his brother again.

Exhaling hard with the absolutely shocking moment, Dean hugs Sammy back while paralyzed. It's been so long since Sam's said anything like that to him. He's always known it's true of course. They really only have each other at the very base of it. But to hear it, the words sounding so pure and true, it affects him a lot harder than he could ever have been prepared for.

"I…" Dean starts to try and say, glancing up at Lizzy as she looks down at them with syrupy-sweet love. He almost pukes with it. He shifts his sights to Bobby now standing in the doorway. He just nods knowingly to him. Dean tries again. "I, uh… I love you too, Sammy." Sam pulls away from the hug and looks at Dean with a big bright smile. "You know that, right buddy?"

"Yup!" Sammy answers back.

Dean covers over his mouth and nods, laughing a little at this when the toll is taken on him. It was all so much easier as a kid. So much easier. Saying these types of things, hearing them… now he's so choked up that he's embarrassed.

"Uh, Sammy, we never had breakfast," Lizzy points out once she's seen Dean's reaction. "You wanna try and make pancakes again?" She holds out her hand for him to take.

"Ok," Sammy answers, easily taking her hand and looking up at her with a smile. "I love you too, Lizzy. Bobby told me I should say that to you because you're really nice to us."

"Aw," Lizzy says with sweet surprise. "And I'm glad he told you to say that to me. It was very nice to hear. And… I love you too, kiddo. A whole lot."

Sammy simply smiles at her before he follows her into the house.

Once alone outside, just him and his Baby, Dean stops trying to be the tough guy and lets go.

He's not sure exactly what it was that made him lose it so hard but he can't stop it from happening. The tears fall easily, the weight in his chest is heavy, and the loss of control makes him damn happy for Lizzy's foresight. He needs this moment alone.

I love you. Those are the three hardest words to say in the Winchester vocabulary. The only one that ever said it with ease was his mother. His dad never said it, even if Dean knew he did love his sons very much, and it has left Sam and him very closed off people. As adults they never used those words, not unless Lizzy made them do it. But Dean forgot how different that was when they were kids. Sammy used to say things like that without fear or shame or even an ounce of awkwardness all the time. It was easy at that age. He hadn't been jaded and effected by the desolation of their lives quite yet.

And seeing Sammy so unafraid of emotion Dean wants to keep him like that. The person little Sammy is at five is exactly the person Dean wishes he could have kept his brother all along.

And now he worries about what he really wants in this situation as he tries to get his emotions back in check. He might be starting to lean towards giving Sammy the do-over he deserves instead of save the adult he's become and it worries him. He shouldn't want that but right now it's too hard to not.

* * *

 


	7. Drawings, Books, and Ice Cream

* * *

"Here," the loud voice says to him, cutting into his quiet researching, and when Bobby looks down to the side of his desk chair he sees Sammy, his short arm extended his way with a piece of paper in it.

"What do you got there?" Bobby questions, taking the paper from the young boy and looking it over. "Is that Cass?" He holds the crayon drawing out to Sammy and points to the brown and white dog.

"Yup," he says and points to the near stick person holding the leash with scraggly brown lines for hair. "And that's me."

"Well then I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that the guy with the hat is me," Bobby smiles and taps the taller stick figure wearing what looks like a trucker hat standing next to the stick figure Sammy.

"Yes!" Sammy nearly shouts with excitement when Bobby could make out the drawing. "It's from this morning!"

"From when we walked Cass…" Bobby trails off, looking at the picture and recalling all the times his refrigerator would be plastered with crayon masterpieces twenty years ago. Damn that feels like just it was yesterday. He can't help but miss that.

"Yeah. I like walking Cass. And throwing the ball and making him get it."

"I know you do, kid," Bobby mentions, knowing how much Sam has always loved dogs. He notices the red heart in the bottom corner and his own real heart melts. He remembers Sam doing that to every picture as a kid. It meant it was for him, with love. "You gonna put this on the fridge?"

"I don't think there's room," Sammy says with wide eyes. "Lizzy said it might be too full."

"Too full?" Bobby questions as he peers into the kitchen through the doorway. Lizzy is there with a scotch tape dispenser in front of the appliance.

"Yeah, come see," he says with yet more excitement as he pulls Bobby's hand to get him on his feet.

With no choice, Bobby follows Sammy as he yanks his arm into the kitchen.

"Sammy, you've been busy," he says when he can see that nearly every inch of his refrigerator is covered by a crayon drawing.

"No kidding," Lizzy laughs as she backs away to look it all over. "I don't think we have room for anymore."

"See!" Sammy says with exasperation and his arms out to the sides as Lizzy backs up what he already told Bobby. This gets Lizzy to laugh with his childhood goofiness.

"God, Bobby," Lizzy shakes her head and takes Sammy's side. "Didn't he tell ya!?"

As Lizzy and Sammy just look at him with exasperated faces Bobby just huffs it off. "You two ganging up on me… not sure I like this too much." He ruffles Sammy's hair to show he's just kidding. He then leans down to look the collage over. "So lemme see here."

Bobby starts looking everything over. He drew everything he's seen lately. There's one of Dean and Sammy falling asleep in Sammy's room, one of Lizzy and Dean holding hands, one with Bobby in his Camaro (of course it had more paint and less rust the way Sammy remembers it), and one of Lizzy holding a baby.

"That's the baby?" Bobby asks, pointing to the picture.

"Yeah, that's Sammy," the boy answers.

"You think he has brown hair?"

"Yeah."

"So… do you think he'll look like you?" Lizzy wonders, getting a feeling that he does.

"Yeah, he'll have brown hair like mine and the same name as me," Sammy answers with excitement. "It'll be like he's my little brother and I can be someone's big brother!"

"Wow," Lizzy says with awe at the unexpected statement.

"You've been thinkin' a lot about this, huh?" Bobby asks after hearing the way Sammy sees everything.

"Yeah. Dean's my big brother but I've never had a little brother. I want to be a big brother too." His smile is wide and infectious, making Lizzy grin right along with him.

"Well, Sammy, the baby won't be your brother," Lizzy explains. "He'll be your nephew. Remember? You're Uncle Sammy."

"Yeah, but I don't want to be an uncle anymore. I want to be a brother. Brothers are better."

"But then my Sammy won't have any uncles," Lizzy tries to explain in a more exciting way if possible.

"He has Uncle Bobby! He's already an uncle, silly," Sammy tells her like it's just too obvious.

"Well, I was thinking that Bobby would be more like a grandpa," Lizzy tries a little harder. She pats the hunter on the shoulder. "You know, because he's all old and everything."

"Woman…" Bobby starts in a warning voice.

"No, Uncle Bobby's an uncle," Sammy explains once more, tearing free another strip of tape and affixing it onto one of the pictures to make sure it stays. "That's his name.  _Uncle_ Bobby."

"Well I guess you got me there," Lizzy laughs lightly, knowing she can't win this one.

She watches him take the picture he tried to give Bobby back and look for space to put it on the fridge and Lizzy sighs. This is such a weird transition for him and such a strange place to be in with his new age. To an outside person Sammy would look like Dean's and her son, and Bobby's grandkid. If she were to leave the house in a few month with both her Sam's then strangers would just assume she's a mother of two.

With no leads and no plans, she wonders if that's really where they're heading. She thought about it as a distant possibility before but the more she sees of this Sammy, the more he's around and charms her, the more she really wouldn't be devastated if he was trapped in this age permanently.

She just adores him so much.

* * *

Off and on reading all day. He's going to go blind… or die of sheer boredom. Either or, whichever comes first.

With a sigh, Dean rubs his eyes and looks up from his old book of demon spells.

"Hiya, Sammy," he says when the boy walks into the living room, somehow knowing it's the young boy instantly. It's something about his gate, his way of carrying himself that screams of youth and ease instead of ridged and too stuffy concern.

"Can you read this to me?" Sammy asks of his brother and holds out an old book. Dean takes it from him and looks over the cover.

"Where did you dig this up from?" he questions, remembering this book all too well from when they were kids.  _Oh, the Places You'll Go_. Sammy loved this one and by the time he was old enough to read everything on his own Dean must have made it through this book a million times.

"It was in the same place I always put it."

"And that would be?" Dean keeps asking as he eyes the book, the binding slowly falling apart and the pages worn with use and time.

"Under my bed."

"Ha, packrat," Dean name-calls as his mind flashes back to Sammy hiding his prized possessions around the house. Being on the road with dad meant minimal items they got to keep. If Sammy truly loved something he kept it at Bobby's, somewhere hidden that no one would find. It was smart. Dean borrowed that same technique for nudie mags and booze in his young adolescent life. He wonders if those less innocent items of his are still hanging around…

"Can we read it?" Sammy pulls him back out of his thoughts.

"Uh, yeah," Dean tells him, putting down the old spell work book in favor of a better book, one with a non-supernatural vibe.

Sammy climbs up onto the couch and sits right up against Dean's side, Dean going into default and bringing his arm around his little brother. Sammy opens the book and lets Dean hold it out in front of him, just like they used to do every now and then when they were getting along as children.

"You start," Dean says to him, knowing how smart his little brother is. Even at five, just kindergarten age, Sammy was reading at a level far beyond the average.

"Congratulations!" Sammy starts, knowing the first word by heart. He giggles with how loudly he says it and Dean can't help but smile. "To-day is your day. You-you're off to… gr… gree-at…"

"Great," Dean gives him a little help.

"Great places," Sammy keeps going. "You're off… and… away!"

Sammy turns the page and looks up at his brother. "This page is your page."

"Oh, my turn is it?"

"Yeah."

"Well ok then," Dean says and looks at the once brightly colored page that had dulled with time. "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose."

Dean thinks about that for a second, the message resonating hard with him. When Sammy was young how many times did he read this to him? Maybe Sam's determination to get out, to do what he wanted and have a better, different life was Dean's doing all along. He'd planted this seed of thought in his little brother's brain at such a young age through this book. Huh…

And now, if Sammy stays this way, this message could actually mean something for real this time around. If Sam stays Sammy, Dean will absolutely make sure he goes to college, gets a degree, and becomes a good, average guy with a wife and job that doesn't include shotguns and knives. He could be a father, a lawyer, a part of the real world out there.

"Dean?" Sammy interrupts his thoughts. "You didn't finish the page."

"Right…" Dean says with a hint of sadness. "You're on your own. And you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go."

"My page!" Sammy says with excitement and starts in. "You-'ll loo-k…"

"Look."

"You'll look up and… down… st, str-eets," Sammy keeps reading, sounding things out just as he had been told to by his teachers.

Walking into the room with a mug in her hand, Lizzy pauses in the doorway when she sees her boys sitting on the couch, Sammy reading and Dean holding the book between them. Sammy's little feet kick happily as they just make it to the edge of the couch cushion when Dean starts to read another page.

Quietly she makes her way to Bobby's favorite chair and takes a seat facing them. She rests her feet on the antique ottoman and places the warm mug on her pregnant belly and watches on silently.

"Out there things can happen and frequently do," Dean reads his page. "To people as brainy and footsy as you."

"I'm brainy, right?" Sammy asks up to Dean.

"Too brainy, kiddo," Dean assures him as he turns the page. "You're too freakin' smart. You're up."

"And w-hen th… thi…"

"You got this one," Dean encourages, knowing he does.

"Th… i… things?"

"Bingo."

"And when things… st… sta-rt…"

As Sammy works on his current sentence Dean glances at his wife across the room. She smirks at him, an eyebrow raised as he further proves how damn good he'll be as a dad. She's been absolutely enjoying this whole disaster in a very specific way. Dean's so easily transitioned into this role that she's impatient for her son to get there already. She wants to see her men together. It'll be awesome.

Dean just grins back, knowing she's getting chick-flicky on him. Lizzy's been one big ass chick flick for months now. He chooses to ignore her and get back to the story when he hears Sammy get caught up on a word.

"Hap… hap-pe… n…"

"Big one. Happening."

"Happening too," Sammy finishes the page and turns it. He smiles when he sees the words, knowing what they're both supposed to do.

At the same time they both loudly read, "Oh! The places you'll go!"

Sammy giggles with the moment and leans into Dean a little, the moment making Lizzy laugh from her spot.

They finish the book together, Dean making sure to use his old-timey voice for the line 'Kid! You'll move mountains!' just like he did when he'd read this one with Sammy years ago.

Once done Lizzy sits up a little taller.

"Nice work, Sammy," she commends him. "You're quite the reader."

"Thank you," she says in return, his feet kicking away happily in his little sneakers as he closes the book and puts it in his lap.

"You're very welcome," she answers back. "And I'm wondering if you've worked up a thirst with all that reading. I made some hot chocolate and was thinking you might want some too."

"Yeah!" Sammy answers with sheer excitement and scrambles off the couch as fast as he can.

"That's what I thought," Lizzy laughs out as she gets up also, much slower than he moves, and brings the now cold hot chocolate with her. She has to make more but it was worth the show. "Come on, buddy. Dean, you want some?"

"Nah, I'm good," Dean tells her as he watches them leave the room, his thoughts suddenly echoing her previous ones.

She's so good with Sammy. It's been completely instinctual too. Dean grew up with a sibling, raised him out of necessity when they were tossed so unceremoniously into this life of theirs, so he adjusted and learned as he went. Lizzy just gets it. It clicks with her.

He suddenly wants his son to be there, actually there. She'll treat him with such love and kindness. His son is easily the most lucky kid there is to have her.

He's pretty damn lucky himself. He has her too.

* * *

"What's he listening to?" Dean asks across the couch, eyeing the headphones pressed into her pregnant stomach. She's been doing this for a while now, giving their son the exposure to good music that they both want him to have.

"Bach."

"Classical?" Dean asks.

"After watching Sammy read and seeing how fucking smart he is I'm now determined to make our Sammy just as smart," she says with a grin while patting her stomach. She explained the whole correlation between classical music exposure and intelligence in babies and children a while ago so he gets it.

"Fair enough," Dean smiles at her.

"Plus, when the Bach is done I have some Beatles lined up," she adds in with a knowing smirk.

"White Album?"

"Revolver."

"Good girl," Dean commends her before watching Sam reading through the demonology book for the millionth time while lying on the floor stomach down, chin resting on his folded hands. He didn't even hear anything they just said as he's so determined to find answers. "Sam, there's nothing new in there. You've picked it through…"

"There's got to be something we missed," Sam refuses to hear his brother's pessimism while looking through the book that's as big as him.

"I think we need to start thinking in a new direction," Dean tells him. "We should start fresh tomorrow and take a new approach."

"Like what, Dean?" Sam asks with annoyance clear in his childish tone.

"I don't know," Dean easily admits. "But there's got to be another way. Maybe if we can just find her…"

"And how do you suppose we do that? Call on Cass? We already did that and he came up empty handed and disappeared. He still hasn't come back."

"Don't get pissed at me," Dean tells him when he can see Sam's anger growing.

"I'm not… pissed at you," Sam calms down through his sentence, sounding down right depressed by the end. "I'm just… frustrated." He sits up and then immediately slouches over with desperation. "I don't want to stay this way."

"And you won't," Dean says with determination he doesn't have for Sam's benefit. "We always figure this shit out. This is no different."

"Yeah," Sam complains, hands running through his hair with stress. "Yeah, I know. This just feels… I don't know… bigger."

"Well it isn't," Dean keeps it up. "Actually… it's smaller." He grins proudly at his lame joke as no one laughs. "It's smaller," he repeats and nudges Lizzy with his elbow.

"Funny one, dear," she patronizes him without looking up from her book on her stomach.

"Whatever," Dean grumps before looking back at Sam. "We can handle this, Sam. Trust me."

"I'm trying to."

"Well, try harder," Dean says in his usual way.

"I just…. Damn it. I just want to be there for Sammy," Sam admits out of nowhere and makes Dean and Lizzy listen up. "I mean, after all the terrible shit I've done in my life maybe I should get a do over. Maybe I won't be such a fuck up next time and let so many people down." The way he glances at Dean lets his brother know he's specifically talking about letting him down.

"You haven't let me down, Sam," Dean says without thinking.

"We both know that's not true," Sam stops him immediately. "I've done some good but all the bad has outweighed that by so much. I  _should_  start over and maybe save the damn world from more of my destruction but… where does that leave Sammy? He'd be one man down in a war for his fucking life." He looks at Dean and Lizzy hard. "We gotta fix this. I have to be there  _for_  him and not distracting you to  _from_  him. You don't need another kid right now taking away from him."

Dean takes a moment to look at his determined brother that just gave him a reminder of how damn selfless he truly is. "Ok, Sam. We will get you back. For sure."

Sam just nods quietly while looking in his lap and sits there for a moment. His head then whips up quickly and looks right at Dean with a hopeful grin. "Can I have some ice cream!?"

Lizzy and Dean look at each other with the jarring change.

"That was quick," Dean grumbles, slightly disturbed by the moment.

"Sammy, go get ready for bed," Lizzy says to him as she sees an opportunity. "PJs first and then I'll get you ice cream."

"Ok," Sammy answers and is on his feet in a flash. They listen to his tiny footsteps rush up the old wooden stairs.

Dean sighs and keeps reading as Lizzy gets herself into the kitchen to fulfill her promise, both unnerved by the frequency of the changes in Sam.

* * *

The ice cream is thoroughly devoured and now Sammy's dead asleep on the couch. He never transitioned back to Sam through the rest of the night. Instead Sammy was around for another half hour and now he's dead to the world, mouth slightly smudged with chocolate fudge while in his PJs.

"This is bad," Dean says to Lizzy as he looks over his brother, the tiny form sprawled out and asleep on the cushion space between the two adults. Sammy sleeps hard like most kids and even if his arm and head are half off the cushion it doesn't matter. He's done for.

"It's not good, I'll give you that," Lizzy responds, angling herself to face her husband and brother-in-law, taking in Sammy's peaceful face while knocked completely out. "He's been Sammy all night."

"It lasts longer each time, just like Cass said it would," Dean sighs. He then swallows hard and airs what's been killing him a bit. "This could stick."

"I know."

"And I would be a terrible person for kinda, slightly wanting it to stick, right?"

Lizzy smiles small and sad. "It doesn't. Because I kinda want the same." She presses her hands into her stomach when her unborn Sammy starts moving around all the while she looks over the five year old Sammy in front of her. "I keep thinking more about it every time I see him like that."

"We shouldn't be thinking like this, L," Dean says to her, a hand washing down his face with the stress of it all.

"Neither of us can help that," Lizzy points out. "We're not bad people for wanting that, Dean. We're good people. We want what's best for Sam. His life could be better this time, we'd make sure of it."

"And we'd erase so much… just shit," Dean tacks on. "No hell, no Lucifer, no wall, no monsters and demons…"

"Only family and happiness," Lizzy agrees totally. "He could go to one school, have real friends, have girlfriends..."

"Have a mom," Dean says to her, knowing she'd take that role in a heartbeat.

"Yeah," she smiles warmly at him and peers back down at Sammy, moving his hair out of his face lightly. "There's so much he deserves that he never got."

Dean can hear the choked up tone to her voice. Her emotions are so heavy with her pregnancy that's not at all surprised.

"He's just such a bright, sweet little boy," she keeps going, eye welling up. "So innocent. He never deserved any of it."

And the waterworks have begun.

"L, it's ok," Dean reminds her, being nice and patient with her moods. It isn't her fault. She can't stop it even if she wants to.

"No it's not," she cries, her fingers still combing very lightly through Sammy's hair. "It's never been ok. What you two have seen, what you've been through…." She sniffles and wipes her eyes with her free forearm. "You were both just kids, just like all the other kids out there, and this life stole it all from you. I just wish you could be ok."

"We are ok," Dean rebuts her.

"Yeah fucking right," she denies him. "You two are anything but ok. You've seen shit that no one on this planet could comprehend."

"But we're still fine enough," Dean repeats for her.

"But Sam has a chance to wipe the slate  _clean_. The demon blood thing, we can't fix that, but everything else would be erased. That's… that's like a blessing, the kind we don't ever get."

"You're right," Dean tells her, buying everything she's selling right now. "I've been battling with this from the jump. I know what Sam wants…"

"To be back to his adult self," Lizzy says easily.

"Absolutely, but I'm not sure that's the right thing."

"The way I see it, it's morally right either way," she tells him before taking a deep breath and collecting herself. "We either set things right and return him or if we can't we set things right we raise him correctly."

"Well, I'm just gonna look at it like that instead of think too hard," Dean tells her before huffing a laugh of disbelief. "We actually found a win-win."

"Feels strange, right?" Lizzy asks, wiping her eyes once more and smiling a little.

"Feels impossible."

"But it's where we are," she confirms.

"Yeah…" Dean says, his mind drifting to the future. "You'd really do this for him? Take him in like he's yours and raise him?"

"Of course," Lizzy swears. "Hell, I  _want_  to. I mean, I think we'd have to rethink our son's name since two Sammy's might be confusing…."

"Shit, that's true," Dean says, disappointed with the idea. "That sucks."

"Yeah, a little."

"Maybe we can keep Robert as a first name, instead of middle?"

"Could do that. If this becomes permanent we'll have to seriously talk about it but that's fine. In the long run it's not a big deal."

Dean smiles sadly and nods. "Thank you."

"You don't have to say that," she shakes her head and looks down lovingly at the little boy on the couch asleep, her hand resting gently on his head. "He won me over on his own. He's a sweet little boy. And you know how much I love Sam. I'd do it with or without you."

He knows she isn't lying.

"You're awesome," Dean tells her but Lizzy hears it for what it really is.

"Love you too."

"I'm gonna get a washcloth for that face," Dean says, pointing to the chocolate mess framing Sammy's mouth before getting up. "Then I'll bring him upstairs."

"Sounds good," she says to him as he leaves the room, heading for the bathroom.

Lizzy stays put, watching Sammy sleep and thinking over a possible future with two little boys, a big brother and a little brother, and she doesn't really hate the idea. She and Dean have already discussed having more kids, both agreeing that that's what they would want in the long run if they got out. Sammy's a wonderful child and she knows he would be an excellent role model for her son. They could be the best friends Dean and Sam have been… even if it means Dean will lose that bond.

Right then Sammy's body twitches sharply once, making Lizzy pause with worry. He soon twitches a few more times, his voice moaning out once in fear, and Lizzy can see where this is going. His nightmares have done a real number on him through all this.

Moving smoothly and calmly to the floor by him, her face level with his as he's belly down with a cheek to the cushion, Lizzy soothingly combs a hand through his hair and speaks in a kind, even tone.

"Sammy, wake up," she says with as little alarm as she can. "Sweetie, it's ok. Everything is ok. Open your eyes."

Luckily, before the nightmare could truly take ahold of him, Sammy's lids flutter open. She caught him before it got bad. He locks eyes with Lizzy and she smiles warmly.

"Hey, kiddo. I'm right here. You're safe," she tells him, her hand resting on his cheek.

Sammy's chin quivers and his eyes glaze over. Before he can fall into any crying she gently pulls him off the couch and into her.

"I gotcha," Lizzy tells him, his slight sobs quiet this time as he's instantly in a safe place. He trusts her completely and finds solace in her easily. "It's ok. I'm right here."

Dean walks into the room with a warm washcloth and sees the scene in front of him.

"What happened?"

"A little nightmare," she explains, her hand smoothing over the back of his head as his face is buried in her shoulder. "But we're ok. Everything is good and Sammy's safe, right?"

Sammy nods without looking up, rubbing his face on her shirt.

"Aw, dude," Dean says with sympathy, sitting on the floor next to Lizzy. He lifts Sammy's face and gets a good look. "It's all good, Sammy."

"I know," Sammy answers back, sniffling once as his tears stop falling.

"You do?" Dean asks, wiping down the trails from his cheeks and the chocolate from his mouth.

"Yeah. Lizzy said so."

"You just believe everything I say?" Lizzy smiles wide, knowing the only person Sammy has that much faith in is his brother.

"Yeah."

"What if I lied to you?" she pries on.

"Why would you do that?" Sammy asks her as he's still in her arms, his face showing how confused he is by the idea that Lizzy would ever be untruthful.

"I wouldn't," she promises. "I'm happy you know that I wouldn't, too. You feeling better now?"

"Yeah."

"Good," Lizzy smiles out. "Because, kiddo, it's bedtime."

"No…" Sammy whines and hugs her around the neck, looking to suck up to her.

"Yes, Sammy," she answers back, getting more stern with her tone.

"Dean, I wanna stay up," Sammy says over her shoulder, playing his next pawn still on the board.

"Don't pit us against each other," Dean lightly scolds the kid's brazen tactic. "If L says it's bedtime then it's bedtime."

"Aww…"

"Aww," Lizzy echoes jokingly right back and looks to Dean in a silent ask. Dean stands up and grabs her hand and elbow of her free arm and helps pull her up with Sammy still in her hold. "I think that's the sound kids make everywhere around the world when they hear the word bedtime."

"But I'm scared," Sammy tells her, tracing the lines of her tattoos on her upper arm.

"Are you really scared or are you just saying that to avoid sleep?" Lizzy questions, taking the words right out of Dean's mouth. He was just about to say that and he smiles with her quick thinking.

"Scared," Sammy answers quietly.

"Ok," Lizzy nods, ducking her head to make sure Sammy looks at her. "Then how about this; I'll lay down with you for a little bit until you feel better."

"That work for you?" Dean questions, watching Lizzy work.

"Ok."

"Yeah?" Lizzy asks with slight excitement to be so accepted by the child. Sammy nods and she grins wide. "Alright, say goodnight to Dean then."

"G'night, Dean," Sammy follows her direction, leaning away from Lizzy with his arms out.

"Goodnight, Sammy," Dean says quietly, hugging his little brother. He then surprises himself when he says, "Love you, kiddo."

"Love you too, Dean," Sammy answer back before he leans away and into Lizzy again, yawning wide.

"Well wasn't that just the sweetest damn thing ever," Lizzy says in jest, looking at Dean with shock.

"Shut up," Dean spits back, ignoring the heat on his cheeks as he gets embarrassed.

"Let's say goodnight to Bobby too," Lizzy says to the clearly still pooped child and heads out of the room.

Dean can hear them talking to Bobby at his desk in the other room, Sammy telling the old man goodnight and Bobby sounding slightly surprised as he returned it. He's probably shocked that Sam's been Sammy for the most part of the night. It's a bit disturbing, Dean will admit but as much as he wouldn't mind the five year old sticking around for a redo he's still scared to lose the twenty-seven year old man that's become his absolute best friend. He knows what's best for Sam, always has, but this blow would hurt. A lot.

But what isn't disturbing is Lizzy. She's taking the helm. Sammy doesn't worry her one bit when he's around and she wants so much to give him everything just as she would her own son. To say Dean's impressed with the way she's handled him would be an understatement. He knew she was good with kids but she's actually far beyond good. She's amazing.

She's everything he and his brother never got to have when they needed it the most. Maybe Sam can actually get that back.

"Alrighty," Lizzy says with a big smile on her face as she pulls the covers over both her and Sammy. "You comfy?"

"Yeah," Sammy says with a bright smile as Lizzy brings an arm around his small frame. He moves in close right next to her, his head resting against her shoulder when they've both fully laid down.

"Good," she says with love to him, his tiny face suddenly too content with the company. "But you know you can't do this every night, Sammy. You have to be a big boy and go to bed alone."

"But you don't."

"Excuse me?" Lizzy asks with surprise at his return.

"You sleep in Dean's bed every night. You don't sleep alone so why do I have to?"

With his bright hazel eyes looking up at her she realizes that she has no true answer to give him that would make sense. Fuck, Dean was right. He's too damn smart, maybe for his own good.

"You make a very good point," Lizzy tells him as she brings her arm tighter around his shoulders.

"Thank you," Sammy says innocently while on autopilot. It sounded like a compliment or something and Dean taught him to be polite.

As usual lately, when Lizzy lays down her son starts moving and shaking with the level change.

"Hey Sammy," Lizzy says to the boy as she picks up one of his tiny hands. "Wanna feel the baby again?"

"He's moving!?" Sammy asks, his head picking up with what she says. Instead of answer Lizzy simply presses his palm into her big belly, letting him feel. "That's so cool."

"Isn't it?" Lizzy agrees.

"Yeah," he answers in a big yawn.

"Head down, kiddo," Lizzy tells him, pressing his cheek to her shoulder again. Sammy moves so that he's facing her on his side, his hand splayed out as he keeps feeling the baby moving. "Close your eyes."

"Why does he move so much?" Sammy asks as he lids shut, relaxing into her.

"I think it's because Dean is his daddy," Lizzy jokes. "Wasn't Dean kinda crazy as a kid?"

"Yes. He never sat still very good, that's what dad says," Sammy answers back easily.

"So you remember Dean as a kid?" Lizzy wonders, her mind confused how this kid could remember both young and old Dean but not question the fact that he's suddenly in this thirties.

"Yeah."

"Do you think it's weird that he's so old now?"

"How old is he?" Sammy questions, the sleepiness taking over his tone quickly.

"He just turned thirty-two."

"Oh…"

"That's not strange to you?"

"Dean's old."

Lizzy laughs quickly and quietly. "I think you should tell him that tomorrow. He'd love it."

"Ok."

Sammy just doesn't seem to care that Dean's so much older than he should be compared to himself. Maybe she won't press this issue any longer. It's easier if he doesn't anyways.

"Goodnight, Lizzy," Sammy gets in just as he's drifting off.

"Night, Sammy."

"Goodnight, brother," Sammy then says as his hand against her stomach tightens into a fist and then relaxes, his way of saying goodnight to the baby.

"Oh boy," Lizzy complains a bit but kisses Sammy on the forehead anyways. The little boy is just so determined to have this child be his little brother. Of course it's so sweet and too cute that he cares so much already but it hurts. He's not her son's brother. Sammy is not her son… even if more and more she somewhat wishes it was true.

Thinking about that, the future she suddenly wants looking much different than it did before, Lizzy drifts off herself. It was perfectly comfortable there.

The next thing she knows she can hear her name being called out to her in a whisper and a pair of lips kissing her own so gently she smiles after.

"Hey Hot Shot," she says right before she opens her eyes to see Dean standing by the bed.

"You look awful comfy," he comments with a grin of his own, crouching down next to the mattress.

"Too comfy," she admits, waking herself enough to get up.

"I can see that," he responds, pulling back the blankets for her to get out. When he does he catches the sight of Sammy's hand on her stomach. "Was the little guy moving in there again?"

"Oh yeah," Lizzy answers, sitting up and swinging her feet over the edge of the bed. "Sammy here gets a kick out of it every time."

"I'm sure he does," Dean tells her, taking her hands and pulling her up to stand. "I think you fascinate him. You're like a big science experiment."

"Great," Lizzy laughs with the idea. "He said good night to him too."

"Aww…" Dean starts to joke a little but Lizzy stops him.

"He said 'goodnight, brother'."

"Oh," Dean's face drops immediately. "Well that's… I don't know what that is."

"He's determined, I'll give him that," Lizzy sighs quietly, watching as Sammy curls up and readjusts in his sleep once she's gone, never waking up thankfully. "But why?" She looks over to Dean with serious concern. "Why is he so damn determined?"

"Not sure," Dean admits. "I mean, he's never had a little brother… or a mom. And Sam's always been a driven son of a bitch when it comes to things he wants."

"Maybe that's it," Lizzy nods, bringing an arm around Dean's waist and leaning into him. "I'm tired."

"Then bedtime it is," Dean decides, a hand running over her stomach before walking with her to their own room.

They settle into their normal routine, or what has become normal since Lizzy moved in with Bobby and when Dean can be there. They brush their teeth, undress, get into bed and find that comfortable place that has replaced their default position. Lizzy on her back, Dean's head on her shoulder and arm around her stomach out of sheer protective tendency.

Dean sighs with love to be right where he is, next to his wife and soon enough to be born child, when something dawns on him.

"Huh," Dean says before getting out of bed.

"What's happening?" Lizzy questions, watching Dean stand next to their bed and lift the top corner of the mattress. He reaches his hand in and his face suddenly lights up.

"No shit," he says with a smile and pulls back his hand. He then looks down at the magazine in his hand with nostalgic love.

"What's that?" Lizzy wonders and Dean holds it out for her. She rolls her eyes to see the mid-nineties Playboy in his hold. "Figures."

"Dude! Jenny McCarthy!" he grins with excitement before turning it back to his own eye line.

"And what made you think about this lovely lost treasure all of a sudden?"

"Sammy."

"Come again?" she laughs at the answer, not expecting to hear that a child made him remember a nudie mag.

"He used to hide his prized possessions around here when he was little," Dean explains, flipping casually through the magazine while talking, fondly remembering the old pages as he eyes scan them. "Dad wouldn't let us keep much on the road so he used to hide stuff around Bobby's so he could keep them. That book, 'Oh, the Places You'll Go', that was one of his things he hid."

"And his hidden literature made you think about your own?" Lizzy asks with a grin.

"I kinda stole the idea from him," Dean admits, glancing at her once before looking back down, turning the magazine to look over the centerfold. "I mean, I used it on skin mags and booze but still… a good idea is a good idea."

Lizzy laughs, watching him for a second. Of course Dean's version of a walk down memory lane includes naked chicks and underage drinking but she assumed that. She is well aware of the man she married.

"God damn, McCarthy was hot," Dean comments. "There's a reason she took up a lot of space in my dreams."

"And now you get to look at hot chicks… which is a departure for your life right now," Lizzy jokes as she places her hands on her pregnant belly with a laugh.

Dean looks up at her over the top of the pages and smirks. He then tosses the magazine over his shoulder, the issue falling on the floor behind him without a care as he looks at her.

He dives for her, yanking the blankets over them as he buries his face in her neck, making her laugh.

"Mm," he grunts out as he gets on top of her immediately, leaning way over her protruding stomach and kissing her neck. "I got all the hot chick I need right here."

"Oh my God," Lizzy giggles again, his hands already taking her sweatpants down. "You're insane."

"And you're hot," he reminds her, still truly thinking so even with just under two months left for her. "Gimme."

"Give you what?" Lizzy asks, giggling again with his crazed attacking.

Dean sits up, pulling her legs into the air as he gets rid of her pants completely. He then brings her legs to either side of himself and pauses, looking at her mischievously. "Everything."

He leans down and attacks again, Lizzy laughing a little more with how silly he can truly be when he lets himself relax for a moment, and her voice soon enough turns into something else.

As Dean happily makes his wife moan the vintage magazine he was so excited about just moments before lies untouched on the cold wooden floor just feet away.

* * *

 


	8. The Problem With Slippery Socks

* * *

"So I was thinking about it," Sam starts as he rushes into the study with a short, black pillar candle in one hand and the flannel he came home small and bundled in a few days ago in the other, the large shirt dragging behind him. The men in the room can easily see their adult Sam is the one talking at the moment. "And I might be able to find the demon."

"How?" Dean asks as he watches Sam drop the candle on the desk in the study, the shirt on Bobby's chair, and then turn to the cluttered shelf to the right.

"I know a spell," he explains in his young voice as he looks up at a paper-covered bookcase. "I think I can make it work for us."

"What spell you talking about?" Bobby wonders as he and Dean both watch Sam attempt to pull at a heavy wooden chair over to the bookshelf, it barely budging.

"One that can help me locate someone," he says, giving the chair one more solid yank before giving up. He sighs heavily and turns to Dean. "Can you grab me a US map from the stack up there?" he asks as he points to it.

"Yeah," Dean answers, leafing through the pile before pulling one out. He hands it over.

"Remember when I found you after Cass took you to Alistair?" Sam tries to remind him.

"It's the reason I'm standing here right now," Dean answers hesitantly.

"Well… this is how I found you," Sam quickly explains and leaves it at that.

"But we're looking for a demon, Sam. What if this one only works on humans?"

"I've only  _tried_  it on humans, big difference. But I think it should still work since the demon's wearing a human. And we gotta do this now. I keep reverting... could be five year old me any second." Sam climbs up onto Bobby's usual desk chair and stands on it. He unfolds the map and flattens it out with his small hands, the paper covering the whole desktop.

"So what do we need to do?" Bobby questions as he helps Sam spread out the map, wanting in if this spell will get them what they want.

"Well, basically this spell needs something that the target has touched, usually a piece of paper or something like that," Sam explains, reaching for the candle and placing it right in front of him. He then picks up the shirt crumpled by his feet, holding out the cuff of the right sleeve. "The demon touched my hand and possibly my shirt too. It's worth a try."

"That's all I gotta hear. I'm in," Dean easily acquiesces, walking to the edge of the desk opposite Sam. He's ready to rip that demon bitch's throat so of course he's ready to try anything to get him there. "Hey, how did you know about this?"

"Uh… can I have your lighter?" Sam asks Dean, ignoring the question.

"Yeah," Dean slowly responds, suspicious eyes on Sam as he reaches into his pocket and hands over his Zippo. "So?"

"So what?" Sam asks in his usual Sam way, opening the Zippo and trying to flick the flint with his small hands.

"Where'd you pick up the parlor trick?"

"It's not a parlor trick. It's real."

" _Sam_."

He pauses and looks at his brother. "Ruby. I picked it up from Ruby, ok?"

Dean just looks at Sam for a moment, the name Ruby still a stab in his heart. "So it works?"

"Found you, didn't I?"

Dean chooses not to start the all-out fight that would have ensued if he spoke his mind. Sam's made up the misstep a thousand times over by now anyways. He's sorry and still a bit embarrassed by the huge lapse in judgment. "Then fire it up."

Sam gives his brother a sideways glance of quick surprise before trying once more to get the lighter going. And he tries again. And again. "Damn it!" His small fingers are so weak he can't get it to light.

"Here," Bobby gives in and takes the lighter from the small sized man. He gets it going and hands it carefully back to Sam.

The shrunken down man uses both hands to light up the candle before holding the cuff of his shirt over the flame. It takes some time but it starts to singe, the smell of burnt fabric filling the study.

Sam then speaks some Latin verse before holding the candle flame to the corner of the map. The entire page lights up bright, the flames much larger than Dean or Bobby where ready for.

"Yer gonna burn my damn house down!" Bobby worries and takes a step for the map.

"No!" Sam shouts and stops him. "The flame is our friend." He remembers Ruby saying the exact same thing to him the first time they did this spell. He smirks a little. Every now and then, and he hates to admit it, he misses having her around. "Out."

The flames immediately go out and there's only the lower east part of one state left on the entire map that's not burnt.

"South Dakota?" Dean asks almost incredulously. "She's still around here?"

"Looks like," Bobby comments as he walks immediately back to the shelf, this time taking a South Dakota state map. "Try again, Sam. Give us a town."

In just a few minutes the second map is left a pile of ash aside from one town.

"Akron. That's only an hour south," Bobby says with a bit of excitement. "We could go get her and bring her here."

"And force her to turn me back," Sam says with hope and some serious anger.

"Alright, let's pack up," Dean says with excitement as he goes to leave the room.

Sam immediately jumps down from the chair and rushes to get everything ready to go when Bobby speaks up.

"Where do you think you're going?" he questions, making Sam freeze in place and turn to look at him.

"To get ready to go…"

"You're staying here," Bobby tells him.

"But I'm fine…"

"Stop for a second and think logically about this one."

Sam does so, remembering that he's about three feet too short to be at all effective in a hunt. He's small, weak, easily tossed around, and worst of all he could zone out into his five year old self mid-hunt. So not a good idea.

"I'll hang back with Lizzy," he grumbles, wishing he could go and be of help. He'd really love to rip this demon bitch apart.

"Good idea," Bobby smirks a little and walks away to help Dean, patting Sam on the head as he passes.

"Friggin' jerk," Sam mutters and fixes his hair, wanting his vengeance so badly it hurt to agree to stay behind.

* * *

"Stay in the house," Dean says to Lizzy in a stern, overly concerned voice. "Don't even think about leaving."

"Yes sir," Lizzy emphatically says while clicking her heels together and saluting her husband.

"Don't joke about this," he calmly warns and hoists a heavy weapon-packed duffle over his shoulder. "I'm leaving this one up to you, L. You gotta watch him like hawk…"

"I'm right here," Sam says in his child-like tone with his small arms held to the sides in frustration. "I'm gonna be fine."

"Sure you are, small fry," Dean digs and refocuses back on Lizzy. "Shit's gunning for him and it could show up at any time."

"And this place is warded like crazy…" she tries to point out but Dean's not listening.

"And if something shows up I want you and Sam in the panic room immediately," Dean says to them, driving home the seriousness of his leaving a child and a pregnant woman to fend for themselves. "You hear anything out there or see anything weird, you haul ass downstairs, you hear me?"

"I have some pretty good hearing," Lizzy responds with.

"You're not funny…" Dean tells her when she jests a little too much.

"Hot Shot, I have this. Sam will be fine and so will I." She leans into him and gives him a kiss. "Don't you worry. Just go get the bitch and bring her here."

"That's the plan," Dean tells her before looking downward. "Sam, you good?"

"Just get outta here, Dean," Sam says to him. "We're safe in the house and we're not leaving."

"Alright. Alright, we'll see you crazy kids later," Dean says to the room, his hand pressing to Lizzy's stomach once briefly before turning and heading out the door to meet Bobby at the Impala.

The second the door closes it's just Sam and Lizzy. They look to each other and sigh.

"So… how do you want to kill some time while they're gone?" Lizzy asks when their free time in the house opens up wide.

"Being an adult," Sam grumbles his answer.

"You might not have a choice on that," Lizzy lightly reminds him as she takes a seat at the kitchen table. "Cards?"

"Sure," Sam sighs and sits down opposite her, taking a moment to get up on the kitchen chair with his size. "Hold 'em?"

"Why not?" Lizzy smiles at him and as Sam looks at her his vision catches something behind her. His face drops into something serious and Lizzy sees it, turning around. The refrigerator is now covered with drawings done by a child. "Oh. Right, uh… you, or little you, got a little artsy earlier."

Sam just nods and grabs a stack of card.

"It was younger you."

"It's fine," he lies, swallowing hard as he remembers plastering the walls of their motel rooms on rainy days with homemade artwork. His little self is making quite the battle.

"It was kinda cute, you know." Lizzy shares a smirk with him, the one she uses whenever completely fucking with him.

"Don't be an ass," Sam warns grumpily as he pushes the deck towards her. "You deal first for that one."

* * *

"So, all signs point to  _this_  place?" Dean asks as he pulls the Impala onto the street Bobby's certain about.

"Whole town's dealing with weirdness except for this one street," Bobby explains from the passenger seat, his eyes roaming the area for anything out of place that would let them know where the demon is holed up.

"Why this street?" Dean has to ask as he also keeps his eyes peeled. The posh, ritzy neighborhood seems like an unlikely place for a demon to run to for sanctuary.

"Couldn't tell you but I have a feeling that one of these houses has a family in it that ain't feel much like themselves lately."

"Shit," Dean lets out as he pulls to the side of the private road. Once the car is in park he points to the huge, impressive mansion at the end of the street. The lights are off inside except for one room on the top floor, the light coming from it flickering, clearly made by flame. "That's none too suspicious, huh?"

"Like a blinking red light," Bobby comments. "This feel a little too red carpet for you right now?"

"Oh, they're rolling it out for us alright," Dean completely agrees as this is clearly a trap of sorts.

"So what do you want to do?" Bobby asks.

Dean simply eyes the huge house as he contemplates what to do. Go in and he could come out with the demon that fucked with his brother after a serious fight. Stay away and he ensures he's alive for at least the birth of his son. Sam or Sammy? Why does this struggle always seem to keep coming up for him?

"Fuck. Let's go," Dean says as he opens the car door and gets out, heading for the trunk to get what he needs for the battle he's surely about to fight… and  _not_  lose.

*************************

"All in," Sam tells Lizzy as he pushes the last of his chips (loose change) into the pot in the middle of the kitchen table. A couple hours of card playing and Sam is still Sam. No reversions. That's not too bad right there.

"Yeah, ah, you're kinda killing me," Lizzy reminds him as she looks over her small, dwindled stack in front of her. "No need to put all your chips in to make it more obvious that your stack is bigger and you're about to crush me."

"All in," Sam repeats and gives her a shit-eating grin.

"And here I was thinking it was Dean that had an overconfidence issue," she rolls her eyes. "Fine. Whacha got, badass?"

"Three kings," Sam says, revealing the two kings he had in his hand.

"Bastard," Lizzy says, dropping her cards and showing the three of a kind she also had. But three kings will always beat three eights.

"So close," Sam says snarkily.

"Alright, you win. Shut up," Lizzy says to him. "Don't be the poor winner."

"Wonder how it's going out there?" Sam says as his mind drifts. He's ignored the worry the whole time they played, having been distracted, but the moment the game is over his fears hit hard.

"I'm sure they're fine," Lizzy brushes off easily as she sees the little face wrinkle as it looks out the window towards the driveway. "You wanna be there, with them… don't you?"

"Feels wrong being here." It truly does. Sam isn't used to not being on the front line. Most people would be happy to get a break from the violence and threat of evil, but not Sam. He's a soldier at this point. Not being with his company in the line of duty feels like he's letting them down.

"I'm sure they would love to have you there too," Lizzy points out. "With me pregnant and you… small… that's two down. But you know they're always fine."

"Yeah…"

Lizzy can see the concern clear as day. He needs more distraction, as does she. Sam's not the only one worried about Bobby and Dean heading into demon territory alone.

"Movie time," she declares suddenly, getting Sam to look at her. "Kid's choice."

"There're no kids here," Sam flatly reminds her.

"Ok… then people-that-look-like-a-kid's choice." She grins wide at him.

"You're a bitch."

"Yeah, yeah… so what'll it be?"

Sam thinks quickly to the library of movies they have on hand. "The One."

Lizzy giggles a bit. "You say that only because Dean's not here."

"He's an ass. Jet Li is awesome."

"I'm not fighting you on that one," Lizzy answers back quickly. "Ok. I'll clean this shit up and you make the popcorn?"

"Deal."

Sam jumps down from his chair and pushes it over to the counter. As Lizzy gathers the cards and then the strewn about coins Sam climbs up onto the chair and reaches up for the box of microwavable popcorn. He's just a little too short for this. He presses up on his tiptoes, his tiny sock-clad feet stretching as best they can, and his short fingers wiggle as he's just about reaches the box. Almost there… so close…

And the crashing sound makes Lizzy jump a foot before sharply turning around. She sees Sam lying on his side on the floor, clearly having fell from the chair he was standing on a moment ago.

"Sam!?" Lizzy shouts to him, dropping the handful of coins to rush to him. By the time she gets there Sam is crying. Not crying. Howling.

This isn't Sam. Sam handles pain like the manly man he is. This is Sammy.

"Oh, Sammy. Sweetie," Lizzy begins talking calmly and kindly to him as he frantically cries in sheer pain. She carefully gets him to sit up against the cabinets under the counter and immediately he grabs his arm that had been under him when he fell. "You're arm?"

Sammy doesn't answer, instead just cries a little louder out of fear and the agony radiating from his forearm. He holds it tight into himself and shies away from her for a moment.

Lizzy's heart pounds when he reacts so badly to her. Shit. He knows her, and he said she's family and all, but she's still new to him. She's still a bit foreign. Lizzy knows the only person Sammy will want right now is…

"Dean!" Sammy sobs out in his choked and anguished voice.

"He's not here right now, kiddo," Lizzy apologizes and places a hand to his cheek like she's always done with the adult Sam. He always responds to that. This time he just looks at her with wide, watered over eyes and continues to cry. "Sweetheart, where does it hurt?"

"My arm," he struggle out.

"Can you let me look at it?"

"No!" He pulls away from her.

"Please, Sammy. I just want to help…"

"I want Dean to do it!" Sammy cries loudly, practically yelling at her. Lizzy sighs with sadness, just wanting to help him.

"You love me, right?" Lizzy asks him, going back to their previous conversation in hopes to remind him of how she's family.

"Yeah…"

"Well, I love you too and I want to help you. That's what family does, right? They help each other?"

Sammy sniffles twice as he hiccups through his sobbing and hugs his arm into himself harder.

"Please, Sammy," she tries again. "I don't want you to be hurt. I want to make it better if I can."

Still crying, Sammy slowly gives in and tries to hold his arm out for her to see, wincing and moaning in pain as he moves it.

"Oh boy," Lizzy says, trying not to give away how bad it is when she looks at it. She holds her hands out palms up and gently as she can brings them up under his arm, letting him gradually rest it on her hands. He shouts when she first touches him and Lizzy tries to sooth him back to a better place. "It's ok, I know it hurts, Sammy. I know. I just need to look. Can you move your hand for me?"

Sammy tries but his fingers barely move.

"You're a little swollen already," Lizzy mentions, knowing a broken bone when she sees one. This is not good and she can't treat this in the house. They need to head to the hospital. But they can't. They'll be vulnerable. Shit, what does she do?

"My arm hurts," Sammy cries to her, his tear-filled eyes look at her for any help he can get. His face is red with distress. She has to move on this.

"Cass!" she calls out to the angel in the situation they've found themselves in. "Castiel, I need you!"

Nothing.

"Shit," she whispers quietly with anxiety when he doesn't show. She closes her eyes and concentrates, feeling just how far away he is right now, while still holding Sammy's arm up for him. "Castiel, you know it's me and you know I wouldn't call on you if I didn't  _really_  need you. Please, if you can hear me… please come help Sam."

Once more the only sound in the room is Sammy now quietly crying as the pain keeps coming.

"Ok. Ok, Sammy. It's ok," Lizzy gives up. If he were able to come he would have been here by now. She has to wonder what he's up to that he's ignoring her calls for help. He usually shows right up when he can. He'd better be ok.

She then focuses back in on Sammy. "Alright. We gotta get outta here and get you some help but it'll be fine. I'll be with you the whole time. I won't leave you."

Sammy nods.

"And I'll call Dean," she tells him, gingerly moving his arm into him to protect it. She stands up and grabs a dishtowel off the counter. Recalling her training Lizzy ties it together over Sam's shoulder in a makeshift sling. "How's that? Ok for now?"

Sammy nods and his tears start up all over again, his fear and pain getting the best of his young self. It's just so much to handle.

"Baby, it's ok. I got you," Lizzy promises him and pulls her hand into her long-sleeve. She wipes his soaked face with her soft cotton sleeve. "Everything is gonna be just fine. You trust me?" She smiles through her serious fear.

Sammy nods again.

"Good," she answers, kissing his forehead and standing up quickly, rushing to grab their coats and the keys to the Mustang. "We're gonna head to the hospital. The doctors there can help you out."

"You're coming with me?" Sammy asks, his unsteady voice nearly pleading for her.

"Of course," she tells him, putting his unhurt arm through his jacket sleeve and zipping it up, his broken arm tucked inside. "I won't leave your side once. I promise you that."

Lizzy stands up and pulls her winter jacket on. She knows already she can't zip it closed due to her current size so she doesn't bother. Keys in hand she looks down at Sammy, his tiny hand outstretched for her to take and lead him outside. Her heart breaks with how brave he's being.

"Give me one more second, ok?" Lizzy asks of him, disappearing into the study to grab some protection. She pockets two plastic bottles of holy water, her Glock, a small canister of salt, and two sets of rosary beads. That's about as prepared as she can get without being totally obvious in a busy public place like an ER. It'll have to do.

"Cass!" Lizzy calls out to her dog and opens the basement door. "In, dude." The dog listens and walks through the door. She pets him once when he stands on the top step, looking at her with confusion. "Be back in a little bit, puppy." She then shuts and locks the door, making sure he's as safe as she can make him without anyone being home.

"Ok, kiddo, we're good to go," Lizzy says to Sammy once she's ready, grabbing his hand and walking slowly with him to the side door, not wanting to jostle him.

When they reach the door Lizzy opens it up and freezes immediately as a wall of a man stands there unexpectedly. He's about Sam's usual size and Lizzy's never seen him before. She all but walks right into him before stumbling back a step, scattering the salt line as she does.

"Hello, ma'am," the polite voice greets when she opens the door, his hand raised and frozen before he could knock. "I'm a neighbor of Bobby's and I heard some crying as I was out walking. Everything ok?"

Lizzy just stares at him, already knowing he's full of shit. "You were walking tonight? Outside?"

"Yeah," he huffs a laugh and pats his larger sized stomach. "The wife says I need to shape up. I can't say she's wrong."

"It's under ten degrees out there tonight," she says to him, her gut churning with fright. "And you don't have a coat on.

"I run hot," he explains quickly and looks down at Sammy, making Lizzy tense up. "Hey there, little guy. You ok?"

"Christo," Lizzy says quickly and the man's eyes turn pitch black instantly. She can feel Sammy's little hand tighten its grip when he sees it. At five he'd never seen anything quite like this before. He was so innocent and unjaded then.

"Well, didn't you just make this a whole lot harder than it had to be," the larger sized man possessed by a demon says as he takes a step into the house and towards Lizzy.

*************************

Dean sneaks into the back yard of the large house, hoping to find a way to get a better view of what's happening inside. Looking over the make-up of the house, the kitchen jutting out of the back of the house and having a separate roof, he sees that he can climb up to it and peek inside the lit-up window from there.

"I got nothing out front," Bobby says to Dean as he near silently jogs to meet him.

"I'm checking it out," Dean tells while nodding at the roof he intends to climb up.

"Be careful," Bobby warns as Dean walks to the garden lattice attached to the back of the house, ivy overgrown on it.

With his sawed off loaded with salt rounds in hand he begins to climb. Reaching the top he gets himself on the kitchen roof before crouching low. He moves slow, keeping his sounds to a minimum, and when he reaches the window with the flickering, warm glow he peeks inside.

The bedroom is lit with only five large black candles, each set on the hardwood floor at the points of the pentagram drawn on it. Demons. Done.

Dean looks down at Bobby and signals to tell them he's going in. Bobby points to the back door while reaching into his pocket for his lock-pick and moves to head inside his own way.

Back at the window Dean gives the room a once over. It's empty. That's so suspicious it makes him think twice but then he remembers how badly Sam needs his help. In no time he's got the lock on the window open and he's cutting out the screen with his pocket knife.

Once inside, he inspects the room. It's deadly silent and feels like no one is home. When he finds nothing besides the pentagram and candles he heads for the doorway to move on… until he hears the struggling in the closet.

Shotgun aimed, Dean moves slowly to the rattling closet door. Once there he takes the handle and counts to three in his head before yanking it open.

A woman drops to the floor with a heavy thump. The second she sees the unfamiliar man she starts to scream and struggle but the rope binding her ankles and wrists won't let her. Her yells are muffled by the cloth gag in her mouth.

"Shh, shh!" Dean tells her, kneeling on the floor and putting his gun down. "It's ok. I'm here to help. I'm not one of them."

Her wide eyes stay frantic with fear as she still struggles. Dean takes his pocket knife out once more and flicks it open, making her scream louder.

"No, no, no, no! I'm not gonna hurt you," he holds his hands out to show his surrender and friendly terms. Slowly he reaches for her wrists. When he cuts them free and doesn't attack her she finally stops screaming. "See? Here to help. Not a demon," he reiterates and pulls the gag from her mouth.

"Maybe not… but I am," she smiles wide, her eye snapping to black as she waves her hand. Dean flies across the room and hits the wall, slumping to the floor in a hard heap.

*************************

The second the huge demon takes a step in her direction Lizzy takes a step back while grabbing Sammy's shoulder and pulling him behind her, shielding him out of sheer instinct.

"Back the fuck off," Lizzy says in warning, her voice getting low and fierce instantly. No one is going to put either of her Sammy's in any kind of danger if she has anything to do with it. The mama-bear instinct hits her hard and she goes with it. "I have a hands off order on me, remember?"

"And word is that Crowley's dead," he returns, continuing to walk towards her as she keeps backing Sammy and herself up. Her hand reaches for her pocket immediately, grasping onto one of the bottles of holy water while thinking quickly.

"If you know what's good for you, you'll leave now," Lizzy says to him, her threats serious even as she wishes Dean had left her Ruby's knife. Would have come in quite handy right about now. Either way Lizzy continues to back Sammy and herself up step by step, keeping the child blocked behind her as she moves to the study.

"What are you gonna do?" the demon near laughs at her. "You looking to get thrown around in the condition you're in? I doubt that husband of yours would be happy when he finds out that his wife stupidly opened her mouth and lost his child as a result."

Lizzy keeps her nerves in check, stepping back a little more and getting him right where she wants him.

"Hand over the kid and you get to keep the one you're carrying," the demon wheels and deals, following right along with her.

Just then Lizzy and Sammy reach Bobby's desk, their backs against it and nowhere else to go.

And instead of being frightened Lizzy just smiles.

"Come and get him then."

When the demon starts for Sammy he gets stopped by an invisible force. He tries again, getting no further than he did the first time. When he looks up he sees the devils trap painted on the ceiling.

"How do you guys continue to never learn," Lizzy laughs in his face and turns to look at Sammy. "You ready to go fix your arm, kiddo?" she asks him, using a much calmer and sweet tone of voice.

Sammy nods.

"You're just gonna leave me here?" the demon asks, audaciously.

"For now, until my husband can get back and take care of you. He'll be angry enough by then."

"Yeah, if he survives," the demon sneers.

Lizzy's face drops, pushing aside the comment as best she can despite the fear it sets deep into her bones. What's the deal? What are these demon bitches up to?

"Come here, Sammy," Lizzy says to him, bending down as best she can and holding out her arms. Sammy walks to her and she picks him up cautiously, sitting him on her hip and taking a second to see the utter terror in his face. "Look at me."

Sammy does.

"He can't hurt you," Lizzy assures as she points to the demon. "He's stuck there. You're safe with me."

"But your brother isn't…" he says to little Sammy, making him go stiff and ridged with worry in her arms. "We're gonna come after Dean. And we're gonna make sure you never see him again."

Lizzy's wide eyes snap back to the demon before pulling Sammy's little face into her shoulder and neck gently by a hand to the back of his head. "Don't look, Sammy."

He listens, hugging his unhurt arm around her neck and burying his face in her hair.

"For that comment alone I'm gonna make sure you don't get to speak ever again. Have fun back at home," she spits at him before reciting the exorcism word for word by memory. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica."

The demon starts to struggle and yell profane words at her. Lizzy presses Sammy head into her shoulder harder, cover his outer ear to keep as much of this from him as she rattles off the incantation in record time.

"Ergo, draco maledicte. Ecclesiam tuam securi tibi facias libertate servire, te rogamus, audi nos."

The wind picks up and the sound of screaming fills the room as the black smoke exits the large man's body. He crumples to the floor in a heap, unmoving, and when the commotion is done Lizzy checks on Sammy.

"You ok, tough guy?" she asks, not letting her hand leave the back of his head so he can't see what's happening in the room.

"No," he nearly whines with everything happening, his crying about to start again.

"Well you're doing excellent," she encourages. "Don't look until we get into the car, ok?"

"Ok," his muffled and tiny voice answers as Lizzy checks the man's pulse. Nothing. Fucking demons.

From there she walks out the already open side door as she takes out a bottle of holy water from her coat pocket. Where there's one demon…

The second she gets outside another lunges for her from where he'd been standing against the house, waiting for them. She empties the water bottle onto him, the sizzle and steam happening instantly. The demon backs off and screams as she dives for the car, thanking her random luck that it wasn't locked. She nearly tosses Sammy into the back passenger seat through the driver's side and she drops in, moving as fast as her pregnant size will let her.

She starts the engine and floors it, the gravel kicking up like crazy as she peels out of the driveway.

"Cass, now would be an excellent time to show up, dude," she says into the air, knowing he's busy and can't come to her. He'd be there already if he could. She could really use a second set of hands right now.

*************************

Shaking the fog from his mind after the hard hit, Dean looks up as the woman he just attempted to save stalks towards him with blacked out eyes. She stops as she stands above him with a smile and her hands on her hips.

"Fell for it so easily," she scolds will glee. "The need to help just kicks you in the ass every time, doesn't it Dean?"

He just glares at her, trying to come up with a plan. Ruby's knife is in his jacket pocket and he starts to strategize a way to get to it without alerting her.

"Or is it your need to save the damsel in distress?" she continues on, getting on the floor next to him without fear as she pins him in place with her powers. "Back in the day you used to get so much ass by saving women. Almost a fail proof system. Remember that?"

"Times have changed," Dean grits, the crushing invisible weight on him making it hard to talk.

"And that's a shame… because I gotta say, the desperate house wife in here with me likes the looks of you, Dean." She gives him a once over. "Then again… most women do. Even I do."

"Well, I appreciate the offer," Dean mentions as he can just see the movement of Bobby entering the room silently behind her. He keeps talking in distraction. "But I'm not really on the market."

"Oh, I think you're whatever I want you to be…"

"Where is she?" Dean asks, knowing this couldn't be the same demon they're looking for, the one that messed with Sam. He'd be in far more pain by now if it was considering how old Castiel made her sound.

"Where's who, sexy?" she patronizes and traces her fingertips down the side of his face in admiration.

"You know who," Dean tries to punch out but again, the weight on him makes it difficult.

"Don't worry about Lamash," she shakes her head. "She's not here."

"Lamash?" Dean questions.

"I assume you came here for her," the demon responds and drags a hand down his chest. "We did lay a pretty good trail for you to follow, didn't we?"

"Where is she?" Dean draws out through clenched teeth when the anger boils.

"On a milk run," she jokes. "But she told me to stay behind for when you came. I could get you as my payment. Mm, and I am ok with that."

"Where!?" Dean screams at her, getting the feeling he already knows where.

The demon smiles wide at him. "You know where, Dean. She went to go get her boy. He's nearly ready for her now, almost fully five and bright eyed and innocent. The innocent are just so easily molded, aren't they? Just down right corruptible."

Dean sees red and tries to get up, knowing he wouldn't be able to. The fury gave him no choice. That bitch went after his brother, called him her boy, and surely will have no problems disposing of anyone in her way, including his wife.

Bobby walks right up behind the demon and Dean can see him over her head. Bobby nods to him in warning.

"I'm gonna kill you, you black eyed son of a bitch," Dean tells her, ready for the attack.

"Ooh, talk dirty to me, honey," the demon lights up with his words.

Right after the remark the demon starts to scream, steam rising from her back as she panics and moves away from Dean. Behind her Bobby stands there with his flask in hand, now empty.

The demon gets off the floor once the sizzle of the water dissipates and turns to him, ready to lunge for him, but before she can Dean is behind her. He grabs her with an arm around the neck and stabs her in the back in one swift movement.

"Told you," he growls as the orange light flashes under her skin. When she falls to the floor lifelessly Dean looks to Bobby in sheer panic. "We gotta go back.  _Now_."

*************************

"Shit," Lizzy laments as Sammy sits next to her crying, his tears falling fast with a mix of fright and pain that no child should ever have to deal with. "Sammy, can you put your seatbelt on?"

He doesn't move. He just stays in a curled up ball, his broken arm against his body, and sobs.

"Sweetie, we're gonna be ok," Lizzy tries to reassure him further as she looks back at him. "And I'm gonna call Dean right now so he can come meet us if you just put your seatbelt on."

"Ok," Sammy very quietly responds with the hopefulness of getting his brother to help him. He moves slowly but he works to get the seatbelt clicked in place.

And now Lizzy has to wonder why this regression is lasting so long. He's been Sammy for a long time now. This is not a good sign.

"Hang on for me," Lizzy says before talking her phone out of her jacket pocket. She speed dials the number she needs.

"L!?" Dean asks frantically into the phone.

"We've hit a bit of a snag," she tells him as calmly as she can, keeping it light for the child next to her.

"She's there," Dean quickly informs her.

"Who's here?"

"The demon we were looking for. Her name's Lamash," he says, the fear obvious in his tone. "It was a trap. She wasn't here when we arrived. She's coming for Sam."

"Crap," Lizzy says with a shaky tone, more scared than she's been in a long time.

"Go to the panic room and lock yourself in…"

"We can't. We're not home."

" _Where the hell are you?_ "

"In the car on the way to the ER," Lizzy says. "Sammy got hurt. He broke his arm."

"Sammy?"

"Yes, Sammy. Sam's the one that fell but Sammy's the one with me right now."

"What happened?"

"He was getting something for me from a cupboard and he fell off the chair onto the kitchen floor."

"What!? L, how could you let that happen!?" Dean scolds her immediately with the news.

"Are you serious?" Lizzy asks, out of sheer shock to hear his instant anger.

"Where were you!?" Dean yells at her through the phone.

"In the kitchen with him, just a few feet away. He was adult Sam at the time…"

"Doesn't matter! I left you in charge of him!"

"Dean, it wasn't…"

"Don't say it wasn't your fault because it was! He got hurt on your watch!"

Lizzy inhales sharply and quiets, finding herself speechless.

"God damn it, what was she thinking?" he says nearly under his breath and away from the phone but she catches it, making the guilt crush her a little more. She already feels bad enough as it is. Her husband is not doing anything to help that. "Where the hell are you right now?"

"We're on our way to the hospital," Lizzy explains. "I checked him over and with what I'm seeing I need to get him fixed up right now. He can't really move his fingers. That means he probably has at least one bone that needs to be set."

"Shit!"

"And we couldn't stay at the house," Lizzy adds in. "We were attacked. Demons made it there as we were trying to leave. They tried to take him but we got away."

"How many?"

"Two that I saw."

"Any of them chicks?"

"No, just henchmen I'm thinking. One I got to follow me into the trap in Bobby's den. I exorcized him. The other got away."

"This is a fucking mess," Dean laments. "What do you have on you?"

"Bottle of holy water, some rosaries, a little salt and my glock. And a shotgun but I can't bring that into an ER. I'm sure they have buckets of salt by ever doorway though because it's winter. I can access some there if we need it no problem."

"Great but you're gonna be a sitting duck at the hospital," Dean informs her with fire in his tone.

"That's why you and Bobby have to get your asses there now," Lizzy tells him.

"We're on our way," Dean says to her. "Just… fuck, be careful, huh? There's a lot riding on you not fucking this up. Get it together."

"Dean, I'm sorry…"

"Don't," he strongly stops her. "Just get Sammy there and keep him safe. Watch your back."

Dean hangs up and Lizzy's left in shock. Who the hell was that man on the other end of the phone? Because it certainly wasn't her husband.

*************************

"A little over the top, don't you think?" Bobby questions Dean the second he tossed his phone with anger onto the bench seat between them.

"Sam's hurt," Dean fires out with still running ire. "She let him get hurt. That was her watch…"

"Watch?" Bobby questions his choice of words.

"I left him with her and Sam's now got a broken freakin' arm and a horde of demons after him. They should be in the panic room, not on the way to the damn hospital!"

"Now yer yellin' at me?" the older hunter challenges, not liking what he's seeing from the man next to him.

"I'm pissed!"

"You don't say…"

"You're not helping!" Dean sends a quick angered look at Bobby. "We gotta meet them at the hospital." Dean hits the steering wheel with frustration. "And I gotta hope Lizzy can keep Sammy safe… and Sammy too… uh, my Sammy… you know what I mean."

"You really think Lizzy'll let anything happen to your brother or that baby?" Bobby questions.

"She already did!" Dean yells once more, having no control over his fury.

"Slow down a second here and think for a minute," Bobby tries, using his fatherly tone that Dean will usually listen to. "Because I got a feeling this is all kinds of backwards in your head."

"What's backwards about it!?" Dean looks over to Bobby with shock. "She dropped the ball!"

"Do you know what happened?"

"Sam tried to get something from a shelf and he fell off the chair he was standing on."

"Sam or Sammy?" Bobby has to wonder.

"Sam."

"So… you're blaming Lizzy for your twenty-seven year old brother's clumsiness?"

"He's been Sammy ever since he fell…"

"But he was an adult when it happened," Bobby points out when the picture gets a bit clearer. "You're mad at your wife for letting an adult do something adults do without thinking twice."

Dean clenches his jaw and speeds up a little more with Bobby's words.

"I think you owe Lizzy an apology."

"I think you should shut up."

"Watch yer tone, boy! Don't get sassy with me because I'm right and you're in the wrong," Bobby scolds strongly. "Kids get hurt, Dean. And someday your son will get hurt. It's a thing that kids do. You can't blow up and put that on your wife every time it happens."

"She was supposed to be watching him," Dean repeats the one thing that keeps running in his head.

"Yeah, you mentioned that already," Bobby says, narrowing his eyes at Dean. "Her watch. You know, you're sounding an awful lot like your daddy."

Icing on the cake, Dean sharply turns to look at Bobby. "I am  _nothing_  like my father."

"I think you just proved that's not true. The second something went wrong you went crazy and put it on someone else. You just did to Liz what John always did to you."

And for the first time since he talked to Lizzy his back slumps a bit and he lets some of the tension go. Shit. Bobby's on to something.

"How'd that turn out for you, your dad always making everything that happened to Sam your fault?"

"I get your point," Dean says instead of answer.

"Well make sure you really get it then," Bobby warns. "Because if I ever hear you talk to that girl like that again I'll make sure I get the first crack 'atcha before I let her start in on ya'. I will  _not_  let her go through what you did and I will certainly not stand by and watch you turn into something that you ain't."

"Let's just get there," Dean grumbles, not wanting to talk about this anymore. He's done with the threats and the warnings. He just needs to focus and make sure he gets to that hospital as soon as he can.

* * *

 


	9. A Terrible Proposition

* * *

Pulling up to the Emergency Room bay, Lizzy doesn't chance parking her car herself and walking across the lot. Clearly demons are on their ass and it's no time to take chances.

"We're here, Sammy," Lizzy says to him as she unbuckles and gets out of the car. She jogs to his side and opens the door for him, reaching in to open his belt. "Come on, sweetie." She holds out a hand and Sammy takes it with his uninjured side.

He climbs down from the car and holds her hand tight. "Is Dean here?" he sniffles out.

"Not yet but he's on his way," Lizzy explains, looking around her for any sign of threat. So far so good. "Let's just get you fixed up."

When a valet approaches Lizzy hands her keys over quickly.

"Thank you," she says, taking the numbered ticket for retrieval later and ushers Sammy inside, missing the valet's eyes turning black as he smiles her way.

* * *

An hour after arriving Sammy's all patched up. Luckily the ER is shockingly quiet tonight, and even more shockingly efficient. Things are looking up for them. Dean and Bobby will be there soon enough to get them and they won't be out in the public eye any longer. Or just on their own.

Taking out her phone, Lizzy sends Dean the information he needs, even if she isn't ready to see him anytime soon. She's freaked out by his reaction to all of this and the blame he places on her. She didn't see it coming and it was pretty damn scary if she's being honest.

_Almost done at the hospital. Head to the ER and they'll tell you how to find us. Radius and Ulna both broken but they were clean breaks. He's set and in a cast. Ready to go soon._

She presses send and looks over at Sammy.

"You feeling any better?" Lizzy asks, sitting on the edge of the hospital bed Sammy's been assigned to. By now he's no longer crying and he's pretty much back to default, happy-go-lucky Sammy.

"A little," he says, looking over the sheet of stickers the nurse gave him as he and Lizzy decorate his blue cast that runs from above his elbow to his hand. His thumb and fingers are free but the hard protective measure covers most of his tiny arm.

"That's good," Lizzy says to him with a welcoming smile to keep up appearances of everything being fine. "So… do you want to talk to me about what you saw today?"

"No," Sammy very simply answers.

"Not at all?" she says with surprise. "Aren't you confused?"

"Kinda."

"Well, tell me about what confuses you."

Sammy stops what he's doing and looks over to her. "Who was the guy at Bobby's house?"

And there it is. She knew he had to be beyond baffled by all he saw. Luckily she was able to shield him from some of it, specifically the exorcism and the holy water shower she gave the demon outside the house, but he saw enough to be quite thrown off.

"He was a bad guy," she starts to answer, taking it cautiously. "Sadly, not everyone in the world is nice. Some people are bad."

"You're not bad, right?"

"No, I'm good. Or I think I'm good. What do you think?" She gives him a silly and overdone questioning look.

"I think you're good."

"That's what I like to hear," Lizzy smiles.

"Do you think I'm a good person or a bad person?"

"You're the best person," she tells him and holds her fist out. He bumps it with his cast hand. "Especially with how brave you were today. I'm very proud of you." She grins wide at him. For a five year old he was a true rock star.

Sammy just grins wide with pride right back before pulling another sticker off the sheet, this one of a train, and pressing it onto the cast over the back of his hand. "How come his eyes were black?"

"So you  _did_  see that," Lizzy says with sad discovery. She knew he probably did but she still held out a small amount of hope.

"Yeah."

"Well…"

"Were they the demons?" Sammy asks, eyes still on his cast.

Lizzy pauses. "Where did you get that idea?"

"You said there were demons to Dean on the phone," Sammy explains, finally lifting his head and meeting her eyes through his shaggy hair. "Was that the bad guy in Bobby's house? Was he a demon?"

Wow. He's like a sponge. Time to own up. "Yes."

"Oh."

Sammy becomes lost in thought with that information.

"What do you think about that, Sam?"

"I think that demons are bad."

"They are," she drives the idea home after the life adult Sam has had. "They are very bad and you can never,  _ever_  trust them. They will always want to hurt you or your family so we stay very far away from demons if we can, you hear me?"

"Yes," Sammy confirms with certainty.

"Good."

"Why did they come to Bobby's house?"

"That's a very good question," Lizzy comments while not sure how to answer this one. She knows honesty is the best policy but she doesn't want to frighten the poor kid any more than he has been. "I'm not too sure…"

"How are we doing in here, Smith family?" the doctor handling Sammy's injury asks, clipboard in hand as he walks into the curtained off section that is all theirs.

"We're doing much better now. Thank you, Doctor Hanson," Lizzy smiles at him with kindness.

"Sammy, how's that arm?" he questions the little boy as he walks to the side of his bed.

"It's good, see?" Sammy answers, holding his cast out to the doctor to show his work.

"You're an artist!" he laughs a bit when he sees all the stickers. "Well, since you came here on such a dull night I'm gonna release you, Sammy. You can go home in record time."

"Ok," Sammy answers, leaning over to Lizzy with his arms outstretched to her. Lizzy goes on autopilot and picks him up, setting him on his feet like the action is something she's done a million times.

"Mrs. Smith, I just need you to sign some papers here," Doctor Hanson says, giving her the clipboard. "And I suggest you let the insurance company know that Sammy here is five, not twenty-seven."

"What a mix up. I will be on that tomorrow," Lizzy grins and signs away while talking to Sammy. "You ready to get outta here, buddy?"

"Yes," Sammy answers, walking around the room and looking it over. "Is Dean coming to get us?"

"He'll be here with Bobby real soon," she answers, signing the last page and handing the board back.

"Well, follow me folks. I'll lead you to the bay where you can wait," the friendly doctor offers and they easily walk behind him, Sammy asking about the equipment he sees on the way and Doctor Hanson answering his every question.

"Thanks again, doctor," Lizzy says once they make it to the sliding double doors to the bay. "I really appreciate the help."

"Yes, well," the doctor starts to say, looking her straight in the eye while shaking her outstretched hand. " _Someone_  has to look after Sammy and make sure he's ok."

She flinches with this odd statement and when she goes to pull her hand back he grips it hard, too hard.

"Clearly you are not fit to look after this powerful child filled with such potential," the doctor adds in.

Lizzy can feel a bone in her hand crack with the pressure of his grip. Her eyes widen with shock as she huff out sharply with the sudden pain then immediately silencing to not give the demon the satisfaction.

"I'm gonna make sure you never let our little prince here get hurt again," he adds on, eyes turning black as he lunges for her. His arms around her in a flash and with the fear of a fight harming her unborn son Lizzy lets them take her without too much resistance. Her child means too much and she is not willing to lose him.

She's shoved out the sliding doors, screaming to no one as the ER is still suspiciously empty.

"Sammy, no!" she yells to the little boy standing there with wide eyes and frozen fear. "Run! Dean will find you, Sammy! Run away and hide! Run…"

A hand clamps down over her mouth, a cloth in it covering her nose also, and very quickly Lizzy's world fades away to black.

Sammy stands there floored by what he sees. He shakes his head and turns to the nurse that comes up to him.

"Come on, Sammy," she smiles wide to him and holds her hand out to him.

He blinks a few times and suddenly the situation becomes clearer. He sees Lizzy getting hauled into the back of an ambulance, her body slack and eyes closed. They don't move her with much grace either so now he worries even harder about her and his nephew.

"Where are you taking her?" Sam demands, wishing his voice would come out as threateningly as it did when he's in his adult shape. At least he's in his adult mind at this moment. He may have no idea where he is, a hospital obviously but he doesn't know which one, and he has a cast on his arm. He must have broken his arm when he fell as the last thing he remembers was his socked foot slipping on the chair in the kitchen and the linoleum floor coming at him quickly.

What he's suddenly thrown into is  _not_  a good situation.

The nurse's face drops as her eyes flash black. "I see we're still transitioning, huh? Figured you'd be a kid for good by now."

"Stay away from me," Sam warns, backing up a step with his casted arm outstretched and preparing to run.

"Sam, be real. If you try to bolt on me you know I'll just catch up." She holds her hand out again. "You might as well just come with me and make it easy."

He weighs his options in a flash. Run is the answer. He can call Dean from wherever once he gets away. He's no help if he's going to be captured with Lizzy but he can be help if he stays free.

Sam takes off, his tiny feet bolting, his sneakers squeaking on the whitewashed tile floor.

"Sam!" the nurse yells out to him. "I'm just going to find you!"

"I'd like to see you try," Sam mutters to himself and disappears into the corridors of the hospital, praying for a good hiding place with a phone to call his brother.

* * *

"Hello?" Dean says cautiously into his phone after not recognizing the number.

"Dean!" Sam's childhood voice shouts within a whisper to his brother on one of the several wall phones in what looks like a surgical room he's currently hiding away in.

"Sam? Or Sammy?" Dean asks for clarification.

"It's Sam!"

"Where are you?" Time to get serious now that it's his hunting brother on the phone and not his much younger brother.

"Some hospital," he answers, keeping his voice as low as possible. "Demons are here."

"Shit."

"They have Lizzy."

"What!?" Dean panics, his biggest fear in life right now coming true. His wife and son are in the hands of demons. It's everything he's been afraid of since he found out about the baby. "Where is she?"

"They knocked her out with something on a rag, probably chloroform, and stuffed her in an ambulance in the ER bay."

"Oh God," Dean breathes hard when the icy grip of fear envelopes him.

"You gotta get here quick!"

"I'm on my way, like five minutes out," Dean assures him, his foot pressing the accelerator to the floor of the car. "Why are you whispering?"

"I'm hiding," he tells his brother. "When I came back to I was standing in the hospital watching Lizzy get put into the back of an ambulance and a nurse with black eyes was trying to get me to come with her. Now she's after me."

"Alright, Sam… uh, hang tight and keep hiding," Dean tries to sound in control and confident but the shaky waver in his voice gives him away. "We'll come get you and then figure out where they… took L." It hurt to say that last part more than anything he's ever said before.

"Just… hurry, Dean."

* * *

Pulling into the hospital's ER bay and screeching to a halt in the Impala, Dean gets out of the car quickly. He bolts for the sliding doors when Bobby stops him.

"Dean!" Bobby yells, getting the panicked man to halt mid run and turn to look at him. "Look around."

They both take a second to pause and let their eyes roam.

"Notice anything weird?" Bobby wonders.

"Yeah, like how freakin' quiet it is?"

"There's no one here," Bobby further points out. "Not even a valet. And look at the front desk." He points inside and they both see that not a receptionist, nurse, doctor, or patient can be found. "An ER is usually a fucking mess of commotion."

"This is so not good," Dean says, pulling Ruby's knife out of his jacket pocket and heading inside with Bobby regardless of the danger most likely waiting for them. Once inside Dean grows frantic with fear. "Sammy!" he shouts and starts to run around, listening and looking for anything. He checks the front desk, walking around to look behind it and stops dead in his tracks again.

In a pile are three nurses, necks slashed and a large pool of blood under their bodies.

"Fucking demons," he complains under his breath, more fearful than ever with this new sight, and motions for Bobby to head down the opposite hall as him and they're off.

"Sammy!" Dean keeps yelling as he pulls back curtain after curtain of sectioned off ER beds in search of his brother. The silence aside from the frantic movements he makes as he searches his way through the large building unnerves him more and more. What if they took him too? What if they killed him? "Damn it! Sammy, where are you!?"

"Dean?" he can just make out a tiny, frightened voice respond and he stops cold in the middle of a long hallway.

"Sam?"

"Dean?" he hears again and he follows it.

"Keep talking, Sammy," Dean calls out to what he's pretty sure is his five year old brother based off of the fright in his tone.

"Where are you?"

"I'm right here, kiddo," Dean tells him loudly as he backtracks to where he thinks the sound came from. "I'm coming to get you. Just tell me where you are."

Dean rushes into a surgical room and looks around.

"I'm in here," he hears Sammy's muffled voice tell him from inside a metal sliding drawer under a sterile looking counter.

Dean dives to the floor and slides the door open, finding Sammy curled up, hugging his knees in the corner of the empty space.

"Sammy!" Dean says with utter relief and instantly holds his arms out. Sammy lunges for him and hugs him so tightly it cuts off a little of his air, the hard cast digging into the back of his neck, but Dean doesn't complain. Instead he just hugs his little brother back with sheer alleviation once he knows at least one of his missing family members is safe with him.

"Oh, you found him for me," Dean can hear a woman's voice say and he turns around sharply to see. Leaning against the door frame casually is a nurse, he assumes the same nurse as the one Sam had told him about on the phone. He stands tall, Sammy pulled hard into his side as he clings with fear to his big brother, and Dean holds out Ruby's knife in her direction.

"We're leaving. Now," Dean tells her, taking a step in her direction.

"So it's true. You  _are_  the funny one," she sneers and steps a little closer, making Dean pause.

"She's a bad guy, Dean," Sammy quietly tells him. "Lizzy told me. She has black eyes and she's a bad guy."

"I know, Sammy," Dean assures him. "But she's not gonna hurt you. I got you."

"Brotherly moment. So sweet," the nurse chides. "Now hand him over before we kill your wife."

"What?" Dean's face drops even further with the threat.

"We have her. You had to have figure that out by now," the nurse laughs. "So we'll make a deal with you. The kid for the wife and son."

Dean's known anger before. Hell, he's fueled by it. But the anger he's experiencing right now is something completely new. This rivals the fury he felt in the pit, the fury that made him say yes thirty years in… the fury he felt ripping into souls.

Without a single word of defiance Dean loses it. He doesn't wait or strategize or devise some witty quip. Gripping Ruby's knife hard he pulls back his arm and throws it at her, the knife burying into her chest. She had no time to react. She flashes orange from within and soon enough she's lying still and cold on the floor of the hospital.

Sammy starts shaking in Dean's arms and the small movement is what pulls him from the severe anger he was lost in for a moment.

"You ok?" Dean asks his brother, the wide hazel eye staring at him with sheer horror.

"You killed her?" he says to him with shock. "Is she dead?"

"I had to…"

"Dean, you can't kill people!" Sammy says with an all new kind of fright. "That's what bad guys do!"

"But she was a demon. She was going to take you," Dean tries to explain, taking the time to try and calm the poor childhood version of Sam. "I was keeping you safe."

"Are you a bad guy!?" Sammy asks with utter fear, not able to understand how Dean if different from a demon. If the demons kill and they're bad, then isn't Dean bad if he kills?"

"No! Sammy, I'm not a bad guy," Dean keeps on trying. "I'm a good guy. I came to get you, didn't I?"

"Yeah…"

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Yeah… but…"

"No buts." Dean walks to the dead demon with Sam in his arms. He pulls the knife from the demon's chest and wipes it off on its clothing. "You need to trust me. I would never let anything happen to you and that means I'm a good guy. You're safe with me."

Just then Dean sees Bobby running down a corridor towards them.

"You ok, Sam?" he asks the boy in Dean's arm as he tries to ignore the dead woman on the floor for his benefit.

"I'm ok, Uncle Bobby," Sammy answers him. "I broke my arm." He holds out his cast to his uncle.

"I heard. But I also heard that you handled it like a champ," Bobby compliments him in the hopes to get him to a good place through the awful day he's had.

"I was good. Lizzy said so."

"Sammy, do you know where they took Lizzy?" Dean asks him as he's the only one that might have seen anything.

"The doctor put something on her mouth and she fell asleep," Sammy explains what he saw. "And then some other guys came and picked her up and went out the doors."

"Do you know where the ambulance was going?" Dean keeps prying.

"What ambulance?"

"Crap," Dean sighs. "He didn't see that part, Sam did."

"So what do we do now?" Bobby asks right as Dean's phone starts to ring in his pocket.

"Take him," Dean hands Sammy over to Bobby who holds onto him tight and keeps an eye out for more threats. Dean pulls his phone out quickly and looks at the screen. "It's her," he tells them as he answers the call. "L?"

"Guess again."

The voice is female and unknown to him but Dean has a sneaking suspicion as to who it is.

"You bitch," Dean calls her immediately. "What did you do with her?"

"She's resting comfortably here with me."

"What does that mean!?"

Bobby gives Dean a wide eyed look when his voice heightens and walks away with the five year old in his arms, looking to keep Sammy from more scary and hard to understand things.

"It means she's fine. Relax. We'll take good care of her as long as you follow along and play nice."

"Which means?"

"You hand over the boy and we'll hand over the girl."

"Over my dead body!" Dean nearly screams into the phone with the situation he's found himself in.

"Easy, cowboy. That can be arranged. Now, I think you need some time to cool off. I'll call you back soon and we can try and redo this little hand off."

"No way…"

"Don't worry, daddy. We'll take good care of mom and son. Bye-bye, Dean."

Lowering the phone once he knows she's hung up he breathes in and out hard with pure ire. To make sure he doesn't hurl his cell across the room since the demon will be calling back he pockets it immediately before walking to the metal countertop Sammy was hiding under. With the swipe of an angry arm he sends all the instruments flying. Glass containers smash into pieces and metal tools skitter across the floor. "Fuck!"

He starts to march down the hallway towards the doors and his family when Bobby makes eye contact with him, showing on his face once he's taken in the shape Dean's in, and he goes a shade paler.

"What's the next step?" he asks as Dean rushes past him.

"We find the bitch and kill her."

"And how you supposin' we find her?" Bobby asks, holding Sammy tight as the still shaken up kid rests his head on his shoulder, sapping comfort from his father figure.

" _Cass_!" Dean yells out into the air once he's in the hospital bay.

"You don't think she's already tried that in this situation?" Bobby challenges, knowing she must have. "Don't expect a miracle."

"I'm banking on one!  _Cass_!" Dean shouts again. He bows his head and closes his eyes. "Cass, get your feathery fucking ass down her now! I need you! No, fuck that, L needs you. Lizzy's gone and, and… damn it! We've never needed you more than this! Demons have them, they have her. Come on, man.  _Please_ …"

When it stays quiet he starts to truly panic.

"Cass… you're all I've got here. I can't…" His voice falters as the emotional toll of it all hits him. "I can't lose them, not like this. You have to help. You said you would look after them. You  _promised_  L you would, that'd you keep our son safe."

More silence. More nothing.

"Dean?" Bobby questions after a full minute of waiting.

He turns around to look at Bobby, a face full of desperation as he hands come to the top of his head in defeat. His eyes fill up with the stone cold dread in his gut.

"Son, we'll get her," Bobby tells him with absolute certainly. "We will."

Dean shakes his head and looks down, his eyes letting loose the true helplessness trapped in him.

* * *

 


	10. That's My Good Little Boy

* * *

Eyes opening slowly, Lizzy blinks. She can smell something sweet, so sweet it makes her slightly sick, and the air around her is dusty and cold. It's dark and she can barely make out much. She knows she's lying down on her side, what she's on being quite basic with rough material and no support, and the place echoes even with her movements, making her think the space is very big.

Uh. What the hell happened?

Her hands come up slowly as she wakes and brushes away the hair in her face. She looks around, her focus returning after a few seconds of lifting her lids, and she sees the room become clearer and clearer even in the lack of light.

It's a warehouse.

The place is huge, she can tell that much, and old. Sturdy but still seen a few years.

As she looks around and evaluates the place, quickly seeing how screwed she might be in this one, a sudden painful sensation hits her right in her lower back and middle.

"Oh," Lizzy groans out as her hands press to her pregnant stomach when she feels a tightening low in her stomach. "Oh, shit. No." The pain, it's all kinds of wrong. It isn't too harsh, nothing she can't handle, but it unnerves her terribly. Why would she be feeling this? Is this a contraction? It can't be a contraction. It's too early. She's just under two months away from this happening for real.

After about a half minute the pain fades away and it's as if it never happened. Lizzy sits up, shifting slowly and her head spinning a little with the level change. When she brings her hands to either side of her head she hears the clanging of metal and a weight on her wrist. The fuck is happening here?

And the side of her stomach still hurts. Lifting her shirt she can just make out the dark bruising there, her skin tender when she touches it.

"This is so not good," she worries aloud, fear creeping into her heart with the threat on her son's life.

A bright light floods the room without warning and she slams her eyes shut, shielding them from the assault.

"You're up," a female voice states from not too far away.

After a few seconds Lizzy forces herself to look at the root of the voice. As the blinding light becomes more manageable, she sees a woman standing there, medium height with dark hair and big bright eyes.

"Where the fuck am I?" Lizzy wonders, looking at her wrist and seeing a metal cuff around it. She tugs a few times and the chain attached to it pulls tight. She's bound to the field cot she's woken up on and, looking down, she sees the metal cot legs are bolted to the cement floor. Awesome.

"Didn't want you going anywhere there, sweetie," the woman tells her.

"Clearly. You know, I'm not gonna fight you," Lizzy lets her know, hoping for any kind of mercy she can get from what she's sure is a demon. "You can relax."

"Compliance from Lizzy Winchester?" the woman that Lizzy assumes is a demon says to her. "I was told you'd be a handful… not a wet blanket."

"Yeah, well, I'm not just me anymore," she explains with an edge.

"Right. You have to keep that child of yours safe."

"Hey, you're quick," Lizzy says in a joking tone.

"I don't plan to harm you or that baby," she tells Lizzy and it makes her shoot the demon a very confused look. "You're not what I'm after."

"And since when has that ever stopped your kind?" Lizzy wonders, having seen demons burn through people just for kicks. They do what they want when they want and they do love blood on their hands.

"Since you're the best bargaining chip there is," the woman grins.

Shit.

"I hope you don't mind that I borrowed your phone," the demon adds in, pacing the floor while staring Lizzy down. "Dean's thoroughly freaking out, as was expected. He generally keeps his act together better than this but with you… not so much."

"Oh no," Lizzy grumbles to herself and lowers her head in her hands, knowing where this was going.

"He didn't like my offer to get you back to him."

"He's not gonna give up his brother for anyone… not even me."

"Not even his son to be?"

"No," Lizzy answers, knowing it's true. "Dean can't make that decision. And he would never, ever give up Sam. Doesn't matter who you have. You should have done a little more research on the guy before putting him in this situation. You're not gonna like how this ends because I can guarantee it won't be your way."

The demon pauses her walking and looks right at Lizzy. "We'll have to just wait and see then."

"Fine, whatever," Lizzy shrugs with a new level of hopelessness setting in. Dean truly can't make this decision. He won't be able to. "That chloroform you knocked me out with is making me feel like shit, not to mention what it might have done to my son. You mind turning off the lights, bitch? My head hurts."

The demon smiles at her wide. "Sure." She snaps her fingers and the bright light coming from the high ceiling of the warehouse goes out. "You seem worried."

"It hasn't been a good day."

"Well you should relax a bit, mom," the demon says in a patronizingly warning way. "Between the chemical KO and the stress it can't be good for your baby."

Lizzy keeps quiet.

"Take a nap or something, huh?"

As the footsteps can be heard heading away from her, Lizzy drops her head in her hands. She needs to get out of here. Her unborn son's life might depend on it since, and she might be wrong as she's never felt one before, the pain she experienced when she woke up was most likely a contraction. With the extreme stress of the situation she wouldn't be surprised. This is insane. But it scares her more than anything else could. If it were just her waiting to be saved she could handle it. This, her son on the line, she can't.

As a panic attack starts to settle into her mind, the cold sweat over her skin and her heart racing, she starts the mantra Dean always taught her when an attack started.

_Make the panic your bitch. Make the panic your bitch. Make the panic your bitch._

She breathes deep and tries to calm herself, all the while her husband's voice runs through her mind and trying to figure out her next step.

* * *

"Dean?"

The hunter looks up from the pavement below his feet outside the hospital to meet small hazel eyes filled with worry. After that phone call Dean's at a real loss.

"Don't cry, Dean," Sammy says, the emotion not one that he's used to seeing on his big brother. He leans out away from Bobby to let him know he wants to get down. Bobby lowers him to the blacktop of the hospital bay and Sammy runs the few feet over to Dean, his arms clamping around the man's legs. He looks straight up at Dean with tears of his own. He doesn't know how to deal with Dean being this way and the emotion he sees is now the emotion he feels.

Without a word Dean picks up his small five year old brother and pulls him in tight. He needed that, he'll never-fucking-ever admit it but he needed that. No matter his age Sam means comfort and stability and this moment he was lacking in both completely.

In the middle of the hug Sammy's body goes ridged in Dean's arms.

"Shit," Sam says in his ear and pulls away. "What happened!?" he asks when he sees the state Dean's in.

"Sam?"

"Dean!?" Sam starts to panic when he returns to his adult self, "Where is she?"

"They took her. Cass isn't answering… I don't know where she is…"

"Damn it," Sam says sharply. "Put me down."

Dean listens and Sam starts to walk around a bit, hands on his hips as always while thinking.

"Dean, I thought they wanted  _me_ ," Sam points out, having missed a good chunk of what just happened.

"They do," Dean lets the truth go.

"Then why am I here and she's gone!?"

"They couldn't get you before I found you and now they want to trade. You for Lizzy."

"Then that's what we'll do," Sam concludes as if it's the most obvious answer. No big deal.

"No! Sam, you are  _not_ …"

"Shut up a minute and listen," Sam strongly says, trying to sound more convincing than his young voice can be. "Lizzy's damn near ready to have your son. She can't be in this kind of a situation and God knows what a bunch of demons are gonna do to her and that baby if they don't get what they want. That's not a risk I'm willing to take when all they want is me."

"That's suicide," Bobby pipes in, letting Sam know he's being insane.

"If they wanted me dead then I'd be dead already," Sam keeps fighting back. "They clearly want me for something. What I don't know but it's something. We need to give them what they want so they'll give Lizzy back. After that you guys can come and get me. Lizzy's safety comes first here, you have to know I'm right on this one."

"You'll be a freakin' kid permanently by the time we try to get you back, Sam," Dean fights back. "I'm not handing them my five year old brother!"

"What choice do you have!?" Sam keeps going.

"I'm not choosing between my brother and my wife! I can't do that!"

"I know you can't," Sam says calmly, his face relaxed with his decision. "So I'm choosing for you."

Dean and Sam just stare at each other for a second to let the idea of what Sam wants to do settle in.

"This is a terrible plan," Dean tells his brother while shaking his head.

"Have we ever had a good one?" Sam near scoffs at the idea.

Dean washes a hand down his face, hating every ounce of this shitty plan. "Where the fuck is Cass?"

"Not answering so this is what you've got," Sam reminds him of his reality.

"Dean?" Bobby calls out to him and the man looks. "I hate to say this but I think Sam's making some sense. We hand him over and we get Lizzy somewhere safe. Then we can head back in and get Sam out of there."

Dean shakes his head no despite knowing he's losing the fight right now.

"How do we let them know we're in?" Sam asks.

Dean takes out his phone and looks at it in the palm of his hand. "They have her phone. I just have to call it."

"Dean," Sam starts, looking at him with all the determination in the world. "Call them."

"I can't do this, Sammy," Dean tells him quietly, his voice shaky with the idea of handing his best friend, his blood, over to evil like this. But what can he do? This is what Sam wants, he said so himself.

"You have no choice," Sam tells him and points to the phone. "Call."

* * *

They took her phone, her rosaries, her holy water, her favorite gun, the folding knife in her boot, her keys, everything. Lizzy was sure to give herself the once over and all she still had on her was her clothing, her wedding rings, and her watch.

The watch is pretty key right now, however. She knows she's been in this warehouse for about an hour since she woke up. She also knows that the second time she felt what she now assumes is a contraction was twelve minutes after the first one and it lasted twenty-two seconds. They keep coming every eleven or so minutes now. Not fucking good.

After stopping her last panic attack Lizzy's been diligent in keeping her breathing even and paced. No time for anxiety now. She has to find a way to get away from this.

Pleading with Castiel didn't work. Whatever he's doing right now it must be serious because he's never ignored her like this. He promised to be there for her, to protect her and her little Sammy, but he's nowhere. That unnerves her in a whole different way but she doesn't have time to think of that now.

She needs to get her son out of here.

"Ok, Sammy," Lizzy says, her hands on her stomach as she closes her eyes and tries to tap into him. She's been able to before and whatever is happening in there it needs to stop so it's worth a try. "Baby, I love you so,  _so_  much. More than anything else on this planet. But right now you're scaring the crap outta me. No more contractions. Just hang on and I'm gonna get you outta here, I promise. Just please, hang on."

When she feels him move a little she can only hope that it's in response.

"That's my good little boy," Lizzy nods, swallowing some of her fright down as she begins to think and plan.

It's then that her hand feels something at the bottom of her shirt. She pulls the fabric out a bit and when she looks she sees three bobby pins that she keeps clipped to her shirts sometimes so that she can pin her long bangs back if they bother her.

Bingo.

Pulling a bobby pin free, Lizzy bends it open and gets to work on the padlock securing her wrist. In no time flat the lock is open and her arm is free.

Dumb ass demons.

She stands up and looks around, there being two doors that look like viable options. One looks like it leads to the stairs heading for a second floor office space. The other seems more promising. She's banking on it being an exit out of the entire building.

Two long steps towards the door and the light turns on in the warehouse. Not missing a beat she rushes back onto the cot and locks the metal cuff back onto her wrist. She can always pick the lock again and it's better she doesn't look suspicious. Don't get hurt is the name of the game.

"Feeling better?"

Lizzy hears the same female voice as before as she walks towards her from the door she assumed led to office space. Good thing she didn't try and head up there just now.

"Not really," Lizzy says. "I'd feel better if I wasn't chained to this cot." She holds up her arm and the chain clanks.

"I'm sure you would," she says to her. "But you're a flight risk. You're staying right there."

Lizzy grits her teeth.

"I came down here to see if you wanted in on my next phone call." The demon holds out Lizzy's phone in her hand and grins. "I think you know the man I'm going to be talking to."

She stays quiet again. Unexpectedly the phone starts to ring, 'Immigrant Song' echoing in the large space.

"Speak of the little devil," the demon grins wider when Dean's name pops up on the caller ID. She answers it and puts the cell on speaker so Lizzy can hear it all. "Why, hello there, Dean."

"We're in."

Lizzy can see the shock clearly on the demon's face. She wasn't ready for this answer clearly.

"You're gonna trade with me?" the demon asks with confusion.

"Yes. You get Sam and I get Lizzy back."

"Dean! NO!" Lizzy shouts immediately. "You can't do that!"

"Shut up!" the demon demands, pointing at her and cutting off her voice. Lizzy tries to talk but nothing comes out.

"L!?" Dean's voice frantically asks over the phone. "You ok!? Lizzy!?"

"She's done talking but I assure you she's just fine. I told you she would be," the demon promises. "Now, let's talk trade."

"Where?"

"Route 122, north of Sioux Falls. About a half mile from 466th Ave there's a dirt road. Take it until you see an old warehouse. We'll do the tradeoff there."

"You better keep your word," Dean warns darkly, his voice lower than ever. "You screw me on this deal…"

"I'm not screwing anyone over here. As long as I get my boy you get yours back… along with the wife holding him. Promise."

"'Cause demons never lie, right?"

"I don't. Be here."

She ends the call and pockets the cell phone. She grins at Lizzy again as she waves her hand through the air. Lizzy speaks immediately.

"I won't let you do this!" she shouts immediately.

"You don't have a choice. Dean's already made it for you."

Lizzy shakes her head, disbelieving that Dean would hand his brother over to these dicks. He has to have a trick or two up his sleeve. He  _has_  to.

"Aw, calm down, Lizzy. It's fine. It'll all be fine."

The demon turns to leave but Lizzy's curiosity is just killing her enough to throw caution to the wind and get answers.

"Why?" Lizzy calls out to her and she turns to look at her with surprise that she'd ask. "Why did you do this to Sam? Why make him a kid and why do you need him so much?"

The demon's lips curl into an oddly beautiful yet slightly evil smile.

"I'm setting things right."

"How so?"

"Sam was…" Her eyes get dreamy thinking about it. "He was our savior. He was supposed lead us, be our guide when we take this world as ours. And then… he never came around. His morals were too… pure." She shudders in disgust.

"He's a good person," Lizzy reminds her. "What did you think was gonna happen? He was gonna let go of everything he's known as right and true and go dark side?"

"I did think that, especially once he discovered his powers and freed Lucifer. I was so certain, just like the rest of us, but we should have known better. Even if John did a real bang-up job as a single parent he did instill a lot of good that couldn't be turned, Dean also. Demon blood alone wasn't strong enough to top that. So… I decided to take a mulligan."

"A mulligan?" Lizzy pries with disbelief.

"Yes. A do-over. I'm going to raise Sammy right this time," she explains. "Azazel started something very beautiful with that precious child and I plan to finish it the correct way. I will be his mother, the mother he always deserved to have, and through me he will be set on the path he was destined for. Sam will be strong, decisive, and glorious. He will make us proud and lead us into the world we were meant to have, one of pain and deviousness… one of total darkness. Samuel Winchester will be our king and we will all bow to him, just as my father wanted."

"Lucifer?"

"Azazel," the demon clarifies. "He made me. His father, Lucifer, made him and he in turn made me. I was one of his first. I am just honoring him and his hard, dedicated work."

Lizzy's floored by this plan once it's spelled out for her. "Shit, that's actually really well thought out."

"Thank you." The demon smiles wide with pride.

"You're not welcome, but still. Damn." Lizzy sighs. Now she knows she has to get out of here as soon as she can to prevent her from getting her hands on Sam. He's so pure and innocent… and corruptible at this age. This could easily work out and Lizzy'll be damned if she's going to let Sam go back down that demonic path again. She'll stop it or die trying, she knows that.

"It's been nice chatting, been a while since I've had any girl talk, but I have to get ready for my son to arrive." The demon turns on her heels and walks away, leaving the lights on this time. She exits through the side door this time and doesn't return to the office space.

Once alone, sure that no one is watching, Lizzy pulls another bobby pin off of her shirt and gets to lock picking again. She has to move and fast.

Pushing the door open just a crack, Lizzy peeks out into the dwindling light of the day. The door was an exit out of the building just as she correctly assumed.

From what she can see there are three men standing outside, the assumption being that they're demons, and the female demon she's been talking to that she assumes is Lamash. Normally Lizzy would scoff at this as long as she had some salt or holy water but right now, weaponless and with child, she's not daring to risk heading out that way.

Ok, new plan.

Lizzy quickly and as silently as possible makes her way to the door that leads to a staircase heading into the second floor office space. Praying for another way out, a fire escape maybe, she slowly turns the door knob and pushes the door open. When it makes no noise she starts ascending the stairs at a moderate pace, afraid to make any sound.

At the top of the landing she goes through one more door, the space opening up to a several desk, cheap and usual office space.

Scanning the area and opening any close by desk drawers in search of weaponry, salt,  _anything_ , she comes up empty handed. No demon harming items to be found. SOL.

Looking around further, Lizzy sees there's no exit up this way. The only way out is the way she came and that wasn't going to work.

She's screwed.

When the pain flares up again, Lizzy quickly takes a seat in a black, rolling office chair to her right. Grabbing her stomach and doubling over, she groans with the higher severity of the pain this time around as she checks her watch. Nine minutes since the last one. That less than last time.

Forty-two seconds later and the sharp sensation starts to subside. She breathes in deep and relaxes back into the padded chair, wiping sweat from her brow.

"Not fucking now," Lizzy says with helpless sorrow. "Why right now?"

Bending forward, her hands over her face, she gives in for a moment. She cries. Her emotions are just so strong and even if she knows she should be sucking it up she can't. This time she's too scared. Something is wrong with her. She's sure she's having some kind of contractions and it's too early. About two months too early. The stress of the situation is probably not helping and with how helpless she's just become within her captured state, having no way out just put her over the edge.

"Fuck," she says within a quiet sob as she wipes her face with her shirt sleeves. She inhales deep to contain herself. Now's not the time to give up or breakdown.

Once her weak moment is over she looks up to the dark ceiling of the office area above her. One more try. He  _has_  to hear her this time.  _He has to_.

"Castiel," her shaky voice calls out to him as she squeezes her eyes shut, trying to find him. "This is serious. I… I  _really_  need you. This is bad. It's so… so bad." She realizes now that she's rambling hard and not really making a good point. At least she knows where he is, or has a guess. It's far, very far, and usually when he's felt this far away he's been in Heaven. "I know you're at war and I know… just, I need you. No, my  _son_  needs you. I'm stuck here, some demons took me, and I'm not well. Something's wrong with me, or maybe with the baby. I'm worried that my son won't be ok if I don't get out of here and soon. Please, Castiel… you have to help him. You have to help him. Whatever happens me… you have to help my Sammy. You promised to watch over him…"

And she stops talking. She can feel Castiel coming in hot with this plea she makes. For the first time all day she starts to relax a bit. As long as she has her angel's help everything will work out just fine.

"Thank you, Cassie," she nearly cries with the relief in her whispering voice. "Thank you."

* * *

 


	11. Say Yes

* * *

"This must be the place," Dean comments as they drive up to the warehouse they were directed to, the only structure on the dirt road off the main route.

"I'd say so. Isn't that Cass?" Bobby questions from the passenger side as he points out the windshield to the trench coat-wearing man standing about thirty feet from the building and off from view behind some trees as he evaluates the structure ahead of him.

"About damn time," Dean says under his breath, some of the tension he'd been holding finally melting away with the angel's presence. This is what they needed. He just had to know this could work out in their favor. He just had to have a way around handing his little brother over to demons. This is a game changer and with high hopes and higher determination he backs up a bit and parks the Impala away from sight. Dean opens the side door while grabbing hold of Ruby's knife in his jacket. "Sammy, stay here."

"I wanna come with you," the boy complains, having reverted back to the five year old Sammy while on the way.

"No! Stay in the car!" Dean strongly commands as he looks back into the Impala to make eye contact. "It's dangerous and we have to go get Lizzy. You need to stay here, you hear me?"

"But Dean, I…"

"No buts!" Dean nearly yells back. "You stay inside this car!"

Sammy sits back in his seat, arms crossed and face in full blown pout for being excluded. "I wanna help get Lizzy."

And of course Dean softens up a bit here. He shuts the driver's side door and tosses Bobby the keys over the roof of the Impala. "Get whatever we need and that white pencil thing Sam keeps in the box with the ammo."

Bobby nods and heads back to do so as Dean opens the side backseat door and crouches low, getting eye level with his brother.

"Sammy, I know you wanna help Lizzy. But right now the best thing you can do is stay in the car. It's not because you're small, ok? It's because I don't want those demons to take you from me."

"Why do they want to take me?" Sammy questions with total confusion.

"I'm not too sure but that's what they will do if you get out of the car," Dean partially lies. "You have to stay safe inside here. You have to do it for me and for Lizzy. She'd want you to hang back. Can you promise not to leave the car?"

Sammy nods his head.

"That's my boy," Dean forces out a smile and pats Sammy on the cheek twice before shutting the door. "Lock it?"

Sammy crawls over the seat to lock the door that Dean just shut.

"Good man. Don't leave," Dean seriously says yet again as he points at his little brother through the glass. He then turns to Bobby. "You got that pencil?"

"Yeah," Bobby hands it over as he watches Castiel walk towards them once he's done studying the building. Dean immediately takes the grease pencil and starts marking up the black paint of the Impala.

"She's inside," Castiel says to the two men once he reaches them, getting down to business as soon as possible with the fright he's sapping from Elizabeth.

"I figured," Dean answers, finishing up the first crude devil's trap and moving to the next door. "The hell have you been?"

"Dean," Castiel starts in a heavy tone, making sure the man is truly listening. When Dean pauses to look up at him and pay attention, as he knows when Cass goes serious it isn't good news he's about to deliver, the angel continues. "She's not well."

"What does that mean?" Bobby instantly questions as he steps closer and Dean straightens up, fear in his face.

"It mean she's having… complications. We need to get her out of there as quickly as possible."

"What do you mean by complications, Cass?" Dean asks, Bobby joining him in taking yet one more step closer to the angel with the horrifying news.

"I mean she's having issues with the pregnancy. Women are not made to withstand this much stress and fear without repercussions when with child, especially this far along."

"Issues like?" Dean continues to pry, the grip on his heart with the news killing him already. Bobby grabs the white pencil from his hand and continues on securing Sammy in the car, knowing Dean's either about to go insane or freeze up.

"Issues like signs of premature labor and anxiety attacks," Castiel informs him evenly, looking back up at the building. "She's in the office on the second floor and she's not holding it together well, though she's trying her hardest."

"Prema…" Dean starts to say but can't finish the terrifying word. "She's only seven months in!"

"I know."

"Shit, that's… Cass, that's too early. Go in there and get her outta there!"

"I would have done that already if I could," Castiel explains. "It's warded against my entry."

Dean whips his head to look at the warehouse. "I don't see jack shit on that building."

"No, as a human you wouldn't. However, I can see it," the angel tells him, the sigils keeping him away from his charge glowing bright in his vision. "I cannot get into that building."

"Then… shit, what do we do?"

It's been a long time since Castiel has seen this look in Dean's eyes. True and utter panic and fear. That's not normal for Dean, the larger than life warrior Castiel sees him as. He doesn't like this look on his friend, not in the least.

"That I am still working on," Castiel admits as he closes his eyes. He can hear her praying again, asking for his help, pleading for him to save her son as more pain hits her, and he can feel how open her soul is to him in this vulnerable place she's found herself.

"Shit," Dean swears with desperation.

"She's praying to me," Castiel says, eyes still closed. "She's open to me in the hopes of getting the aid she needs."

"Just tell me what to do here, Cass," Dean asks of the angel with sheer desperation.

"Nothing…" Castiel answers, his eyes open as he looks at the distressed man, his best friend. "Because  _I_  can help her."

* * *

"I know you're out there," Lizzy keeps praying when she can feel Castiel so close to her. "I know you came for me. Please, Cass, get us out of here. I need…. Oh, oh no," she stops short when the avalanche of pain falls down onto her again. Another contraction. Shit.

She glances at the watch on her wrist. Only eight minutes. It's getting worse.

"Ow… fuck," she struggles out and doubles over, one hand to her large stomach and one pressed to her back as she deals with the pain as best she can without the panic attack coming back.

_Elizabeth, can you hear me?_

Opening her eyes and searching around with the sound, she sees no one and goes back to handling her current contraction. Pain now, weirdo disembodied voice later.

_Elizabeth!?_

"Cassie?" she struggles out through her anguish that starts to subside finally.

_Yes. I cannot get in the building to come and get you. It's warded against me._

"Shit," Lizzy complains, sitting back and relaxing a little as the pain slides away. She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand and sighs. "So what do I do?"

_You say yes._

"The fuck does that mean?"

_I can give you the power you need through the sigils physically stopping me if you say yes._

"Yes to… to, to you?" she tries to determine the actual rules.

_Let me occupy your vessel. I will use my power through you until you refuse me. You can keep them as long as you need to escape quickly._

"Possession?" Lizzy questions with wide wonder. "What… I mean… what will that do to my son?"

_Nothing._

"Bullshit," she calls him out. "I've seen used vessels before. They're drooling and empty and ruined."

_And you descend from angelic bloodlines. You can handle this unscathed, Sammy too. I would never put either of you at risk, Elizabeth. That is not what family does._

Family. He called himself family. She smiles for a split second.

_I am well aware of your trust issues with me for what I have done. I have been dishonest before. Please, trust me now and let me make it up to you. Say yes and I will get you and your child out safely._

Weighing her options quickly, Lizzy sees that there is only one way out of this.

"Cassie?"

_I'm here._

"Yes," Lizzy says with sheer determination and confidence in her friend and guardian. "Save my son. I say yes."

* * *

Dean and Bobby approach the group of demons by the doorway. They have all the weapons they need hidden on them to be safe but they walk up empty-handed.

"Alright, which one of you bitches is Lamash," Dean questions right away, not showing a single nerve racked bone in his body.

"Hey there," the dark-haired woman greets as she turns to face him. She takes a step forward and so do two of the demons she's with, flanking her protectively. Three more hang back by the doorway. "You must be Dean."

"Come on," Dean says with annoyance at her style. "You know damn well who the fuck I am. Where is she?"

"Inside," Lamash shrugs.

"Go get her," Bobby demands as he stands next to Dean confidently.

"Where's my boy?" the demon questions first.

"He's in the car, safe," Dean explains. "You don't get him until I see my wife."

Lamash nods. "Smart man. Never trust a demon." She turns around to look at the three demons guarding the door. "Go get her."

The demons disappear into the warehouse.

* * *

The second she says yes the world changes completely. Lizzy's been possessed by a demon before so she knows how possession goes. Just like then she gets shoved into the back of her own mind, only able to view what's happening through her own eyes as Castiel takes over completely.

She can't move, she can't speak, she can only hope that Castiel can make this work.

"You will be fine, Elizabeth," Castiel tells her, using Lizzy's own voice to say that to her. "Try not to worry so much. It isn't good for you."

_Just get us out of here, Cass._

"That's the plan," he responds, having heard the thoughts she's thinking. Their connection is a strong one, one that works well enough even without this kind of closeness. Now, sharing a single space, that connection is stronger. They can converse with total ease.

The sudden commotion outside the office area erupts and Castiel walks Lizzy's body to the window overlooking the inside of the warehouse. They can see the three demons heading for the doorway to the stairs that lead to the office they are in as the cot Lizzy should have been on is empty. Castiel can feel Lizzy jump with worry.

"Relax," he tells her once more in her own voice. "This is nothing. I can handle this."

Castiel walks to stand ten feet from the closed office door, waiting for the pounding sound of feet to make it to him. He stretches Lizzy's fingers out and rolls her neck to acquaint himself with her form. He'd been in Jimmy Novak's body for so long he's forgotten what it's like to be in another shape, and a hindered by pregnancy one at that.

The door bursts open and a large size man with a seriously pissed off demon inside of him marches into the room.

"I suggest you let me go and save us all the ensuing fight," Castiel says with Lizzy's tone, standing tall and fearlessly with her body. "For your own wellbeing."

"That's cute, princess," the demon says as the other two walk into the room, flanking him. "But nice try. We need you to come with us."

"No."

"No?" the demon scoffs, giving her a once over. "You're in no shape to deal with me, honey."

"She doesn't like how you speak to her," Castiel says to them when he can feel the hatred Lizzy has for how the demon talks to her. Lizzy, the woman warrior part of her at least, would already have charged the bastard for his attitude alone if she could have.

"She?" the confused demon asks. "What the hell…?"

"Last chance," the angel warns, making Lizzy take a step forward. "Leave now or you die."

"That's scary," the demon patronizes in a laugh and steps even closer.

Immediately Castiel lifts Lizzy's foot and thrusts it into the demon's stomach hard, making him fall back with the force of it. He begins to tumble down the stairs he just came from and the two demons left standing march in Lizzy's direction immediately.

Castiel holds out two open hands and presses Lizzy's palms to their foreheads.

* * *

"Go get my Samuel," Lamash demands of Dean as they wait for Lizzy to come out of the warehouse.

"Not until I see my wife," Dean easily denies. "I already told you that. I see her and that she's ok and I'll get Sammy for you without a single fight."

Lamash sighs, getting impatient with not getting the son she's been waiting several centuries for any sooner. Her anxiety is running high, the boy being so near yet not in her possession. This much work, planning… she wants Sam now.

As Lamash and Dean have a stare-down of pure hatred, they're interrupted by the bright white explosion from the top windows of the warehouse, blowing out the glass panes when it bursts though the building. The high-pitched frequency that came with it making Dean and Bobby cover their ears for just a second.

"What the hell…?" Lamash questions as she looks up at the now destroyed windows, sharp shards raining down just a few feet from where they stand.

"What's the matter?" Dean smirks as he looks at her, his hands lowering from his head as he reaches for Ruby's knife in his jacket. "Things not going according to plan all of a sudden?"

"What did you do?" she snarls, stepping closer to him in fury.

Dean just grins right back, patronizing the demon even further.

After witnessing the blast compounded by seeing Dean reach for something concealed, Lamash loses her cool and presses her hands through the air, picking both Dean and Bobby up off their feet and sending them flying into the side of the building. They both land heavily on the ground, unmoving, and even if this wasn't part of the plan she feels a sudden spark of satisfaction. They tried to screw her in the deal by bringing what she clearly knows must be an angel, probably the angel the Winchesters have been known to work with. They deserve to be hurt for that one.

"I'm not letting just any angel fuck ruin this for me," Lamash says as she walks calmly to the knocked out men, mostly just talking to herself as well as the two demons still outside with her. She looks to them quickly, having formulated a last minute, improvised-at-best plan. "Wait by the door. Be ready for anything that comes through it. Look alive!"

The demons move, standing at the ready.

Looking at the bleeding gash on Bobby's head once she stands over the blacked-out hunters she smiles wide before dipping her fingers into his blood.

"I can't kill an angel," she says to herself, glancing at the outside wall of the warehouse. "But I can sure as shit stall it."

* * *

The bright light explodes out from the demon crumpled at the bottom of the stairs as Lizzy's form crouches over him, her hand to his head. He screams out in pain quickly before it's all over, the human body smoldering with brunt-out eyes soon enough. Three demons down.

_This is what your power feels like?_

"Yes," Castiel answers her, standing up slowly and looking over the now deceased demon.

_Damn, Cassie. I had no idea…_

"Well, now you do," he answers quickly, not looking to have this conversation right now. He knows his human counterparts could never really understand what it was to be him, at least not until now. His strength and abilities are overpowering at best and, even if he's used to it and sees nothing to be impressed with, he knows she will react differently.

_Come on, Cass. Get us outta here. There's a door twenty feet from here…_

"I know where it is," Castiel assures her in her own voice as he walks her body to said door after realizing he'd been a little lost in thought. He wastes no time opening it. They move out into the dimming sunlight of the day to find two more demons waiting for them by the door.

Without a word Castiel walks forward, Lizzy's palm immediately on one of their foreheads as he takes that one out with no time wasted. The other tries to interrupt, throwing a punch and it landing on the Lizzy's left cheek. Her head barely moves and she feels none of the repercussion she would normally as Castiel's strength is far more powerful than her own.

Castiel uses Lizzy's free arm to punch the demon right back, making him back off with the strength behind the hit as he takes care of the other. With another bright white flash the first demon crumples to the floor.

"Thanks for waiting," Castiel quips quickly as he charges the second demon, Lizzy's palm on his forehead pushing him up and back into the air before harshly downward to the ground. Castiel pins him to the grass as he burns the demon out right then and there.

_Nice line, Cass._

"Dean is a terrible influence," he responds, having noticed his personality taking on parts of the hunting humans here and there the more that he remains friends with them. From Elizabeth he takes her ability to show emotions, and have them. From Sam he seems to have taken his determination, even if said determination can be his undoing. And from Dean… well, he's taken a few things. His sense of family for one, and he tries to be courageous when needed like Dean always seems to be. And his jesting mannerisms have seem to creep in there too, though he's less excited about that one.

"Cool trick," Castiel and Lizzy both hear Lamash say and Castiel turns them to look at her. They see the demon standing by the warehouse wall, Dean and Bobby passed out at her feet. Her hand is stained with blood and instantly the angel recognizes the sigil drawn on the wall with the red liquid. "I know some neat-o tricks too."

"Don't," Castiel strictly warns when she pulls her hand back.

"Goodbye, angel," Lamash comments, her hand slapping down on the sigil and the light swiping across the area.

Instantly Lizzy's body freezes. She stands there, stunned and empty. No one is home. Castiel is gone and Lizzy is out cold, her body swaying on its feet a little.

Lamash stands tall after wiping her hand on Bobby's shirt. She stares at Lizzy's body with shock, not understanding the reaction. Usually angels just disappear, human vessel and all, but here she is, still standing and looking awfully vacant.

Walking cautiously to her, Lamash holds out her hand in front of Lizzy's eyes. She waves her hand back and forth and gets no reaction, not even a simple movement of the eyes. The woman is thoroughly out of it… maybe even gone.

"Isn't that just interesting," the demon says quietly to herself with a bright smile on her face. She's confused as hell but doesn't really care about the reaction all that much in the long run. The angel is clearly gone and that was the point.

Without the looming threat she turns towards the Impala that she was told is down the dirt road a bit. She begins walking with a confident gait, ready to really meet her son. Her father would be so proud if he could be here. The flashing anger of his death makes her glance with sheer ire-filled hatred at Dean where he is crumpled on the ground, wishing she could take him too and make sure he pays for killing Azazel, but Sam is the priority right now. If she can take Sam now then she will grab Dean in the future for her vengeance.

When the demon reaches the car she sees the sigils written on the doors. It's disappointing to find but she can handle this. Someone clearly did this in haste, making them sloppy and too small for her to not be able to get around. This is child's play, really.

"Samuel," she coos a bit when she can see the frightened child with his back pressed against the opposite side backseat door, eyes wide with worry.

A hand to each side of the metal door, she grabs tight and pulls. She doesn't touch the devils trap and is able to take the entire door off its hinges with ease. The car door is carelessly dropped off to her side and she crouches down low, looking in at Sammy and smiling with sheer warmth. The switch flips from warrior on a crusade to sweet adoration in a second once she gets one good look at the promising little boy.

"Hello, Sammy," she kindly greets, a smile on her face. "I've waited so long to meet you."

"Who are you?" Sammy shakily asks, getting a feeling that she's not a good guy at all. He hugs his broken arm into himself and curls up into a ball.

"My name is Lamash."

"Are you a demon?"

She physically jumps with the question, now knowing before now that he's been told her kind is bad or wrong. "I'm your friend."

"I don't know you. Where's Dean?" Sammy wonders, his body trembling with fear.

"He's up the road," she points towards the warehouse. "He told me to come and get you, bring you up there."

"Dean tells me not to talk to strangers."

"I'm not a stranger," she lies. "I know you. You're a wonderful little boy that deserves everything in this world that you could ever want."

Sammy stares at her with sheer confusion, not understanding.

"Come with me, Sammy," she holds her arm out, her hand palm up and inviting without an ounce of threat. "We're gonna be great friends and do such great things, you'll see."

"No he won't," Dean declares with hatred as he stabs the demon right in the back. The shock on her face couldn't have been larger as she feels the lightning shoot through the body she's in, the pain quickly enveloping her.

As the demon falls to the ground, her body limp and eyes staring out without any ounce of life in them, Dean pulls the knife from her back and stands tall. He pauses for a second, bloody knife in hand, and gives his thoughts a second to catch up. He woke up on the ground just in time to see Lamash walking away. Next to him Bobby was passed out on the ground and a few feet away there were two demons fried crisp on the grass with Lizzy standing over them unmoving and zoned out. When he saw the blood sigil burnt into the wall of the building he knew what had happened. One thing at a time, he runs off after Lamash, moving silently and out of sight to ensure he doesn't fuck up his one chance to kill the bitch before she takes his brother away from him.

"Dean!?"

That voice. It isn't tiny and frightened. It's deep, old, and it's the most familiar sound he's had as a constant over the past seven years.

Ducking quickly into the wide open, and doorless, space to look into the car, Dean sees his brother. His twenty-seven year old, adult brother.

"Sammy!" he smiles with relief before realizing exactly what he's looking at. "Oh God!" Dean pulls away from the door quickly, shutting his eyes in disgust.

Sam's no longer small. His clothes that he had been wearing are now torn to shreds and hanging off of him, leaving him nearly naked.

"Oh my God… where are we?" Sam asks frantically as he finally realizes that he's nearly naked. "Oh shit!" He freaks out a little when he sees his very bare state.

"You ok in there, Sam?" Dean asks, looking out and away from the car in the awkward situation.

"My arm is fucking killing me," Sam answers, using the tattered kids clothing to cover him up as best he can with one arm pinned to his chest in pain.

"You broke it, remember?"

"Yeah, but now the cast is gone. Busted through it when I returned to normal I guess."

"That's what you get when you eat the cake, Alice," Dean quickly jokes while peering off towards the warehouse, needing to go deal with the rest of their crew as soon as he can.

"What!?" Sam calls out to his brother with confusion.

"Never mind. Hang tight, Sam," Dean says as he starts to run off back to the warehouse to collect the rest of his out-of-it crew.

"Dean! Where is everyone!?" Sam yells out the window on his side of the car once he's cranked it down, not wanting to leave the vehicle while basically butt ass naked.

"I'm getting them. Everyone's fine. Wait there!" Something dawns on Dean and he reaches into his jacket pocket before tossing his keys at Sam, the metal falling to the ground by the car as Sam's arms are still inside. "Grab a blanket or something from the trunk."

Once Dean's gone Sam very cautiously looks around. No one in sight. He gets out of the car quickly, the tiny clothes he'd been wearing long gone now. Quickly popping the trunk open he gasps loudly the second that he does.

"Cass!" Sam calls out when he sees the unconscious form of Castiel stowed away in the boot. "Shit!" He starts shaking him. "Cass! Wake up, man! Cass!"

Halfway to the warehouse Dean can hear Sam calling out to Castiel. He forgot they stowed Cass' body there while he took a trip down Lizzy Lane and left his usual vessel. Shit.

"Sammy! He's fine! Get a blanket and shut the trunk, ok!?" Dean yells back while still running.

"Dean, he's knocked out!" Sam yells back, his voice growing distant the further Dean runs.

"He's fine, trust me! Leave him!" Dean shouts as loud as he voice can go as he finally catches a glimpse of Lizzy, her form still standing there vacantly. She's really gotten knocked out by the sigil this time. One look to Bobby, seeing that he's stirring and trying to stand up, and Dean can worry about one less person. The old man is alive at least.

"Bobby, look alive," he yells to him as he runs to his wife. "Come help me!"

Dean, in an all-out sprint now, reaches Lizzy in another few seconds.

"L," he immediately says his nickname for her, looking into her empty eyes and cupping her face. "Lizzy, can you hear me?"

She doesn't move a muscle.

"Ok, I'm gonna hope that you can. Listen to my voice, alright? You know my voice. Follow it."

Bobby makes his unsteady way to them, listening in to Dean speaking to her in a calm, collected tone as he sways on his feet, his head pounding with serious pain. He was worried when he saw the amount of blood on his hand after he pressed it to his throbbing head. He barely remembers what happened but his kids look like they need him so he moves through the agony.

"Come on, L. You got this, just like last time," Dean tells her, looking at Bobby off to the side. "Talk. Help get her back."

"What happened to her?" Bobby questions, grabbing Dean's forearm quickly when he falters a little.

"The blood sigil," he nods to the warehouse wall, Bobby looking to it while Dean helps him back upright on his feet. "It affects her with the angel genes she's got. She's gone bye-bye and we gotta get her back. It's happened before…"

"Liz," Bobby tries his best, grabbing her hand in both of his and looking right at her. "Kiddo, you're better than this. Come on back to us and stop us from worrying about ya'."

"You hear us, right?" Dean jumps in again, leaning into her and kissing her non-responding lips once, sweetly. "You feel that? I'm right here. Bobby's here. Just let us know you're in there. Do something, move something…"

"Dean," Bobby says to him, holding her hand up to him so he can see the slight twitch in her fingertips. She's struggling to come back, it starting just like the previous time this happened.

"That's my girl," Dean cheers her on. "Just like last time. Come on back, Lizzy. You can do this."

It's slow, her fingers moving, then her hands slightly, but it takes much longer than the last time.

"What is the hold up?" Dean says under his breath, that worry coming back to him.

"Give her a second," Bobby says, having real faith in her despite Dean's impatience.

"Lizzy, don't scare me like this," Dean says in a tone that could be jesting but Bobby knows it isn't. "Just get back into this fine ass of yours and talk to me."

She blinks once, her eyelids fluttering a bit after.

"There you go. Now look at me."

She blinks a few more times, her entire posture changing and her focus falling onto Dean.

"Hey," he smiles with relief and kisses her one more time, this time her lips twitching a little with the feel. He holds the embrace for a moment, giving her time to remember and react, before pulling away. "Hey, baby."

"Hello, Dean."

The hunter freezes.

"What?" Dean asks with cold fear, face falling immediately as he takes a large step back from her, staring at her with huge eyes. "You better be fucking with me, L."

"Elizabeth is fine. She's here. She's back."

"Fuck, Cass!" Dean gets angry instantly and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

"Dean, it's perfectly fine…"

"That never happened!" Dean warns, pointing at the angel occupying his wife.

"I am willing to pretend if you are." The emotionless response makes Dean's skin further crawl.

"Just tell me she's alright!" he asks the angel before he can think too much about what just happened there. He didn't just… nope, he's not going to even think about that.

"She is. She's worried about your son though."

"Why!? What's wrong with him!?" Dean panics and Bobby steps next to him, a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

"As I already told you, she's experiencing preterm labor symptoms. Quite honestly, she's terrified of the health concern no matter what I tell her."

"You can talk to her?" Bobby questions.

"Elizabeth and my bond is very strong. We have been able to communicate since she said yes. Now, the only way out, is if she rejects me," Castiel explains in Lizzy's tone.

"So let her reject you," Dean says with obvious anxiety.

"I can't yet. I am not at my full power after the sigil banished us for some time. Elizabeth is back, Samuel is back. Everyone is fine. I just need some time."

Dean's face sets in a scowl. "You're telling me you're gonna take up residency in my wife until you can recharge your batteries?"

"I don't really have much of a choice here, Dean," Lizzy's tone, flat and serious and nothing at all like her, explains. "I leave her and the preterm issues continue. My occupation of her vessel is the only thing stopping that from happening at the moment. Once I am, as you say, recharged enough to heal her I will let her reject me and fix her up. This is the only option I can see."

"Then we'll take it," Bobby says with ease, tightening his grip on Dean's shoulder to let him know he'd better go with it for Lizzy's sake.

"How long?" Dean asks, his tone irritated at best.

"A day… maybe two," Castiel tried to predict.

"Fuck, fine," Dean says with surly hate as he washes his hand down his face.

"Elizabeth wants you to know that she's ok with this," Castiel tells Dean with Lizzy's voice. "And she says to calm down before you blow a fucking gasket. She's fine and you need to fucking relax… Hot Shot."

"Yeah… don't ever call me that again," Dean complains with the awkward use of Lizzy's nickname for him.

"Well, it definitely sounds like her," Bobby laughs with Castiel's sudden use of F-bombs.

"Yeah, it does. She's in there alright," Dean sighs, feeling so uncomfortable it hurts. He looks at Lizzy, her brown eyes still the bright color they always are but instead they're so serious. He face is nearly blank and it's never been that way ever before. He hates this. However, he knows she can see and hear him now so he keeps it on the positive side for her sake. "At least Sam's back to normal."

"He is!?" Bobby react to this with happy shock. At least one person is back to normal.

"Yeah. He's full sized and without clothes. He Hulked 'em off," Dean says with a slight smile on his face. "He's wearing a blanket from the trunk."

"Guess killing that demon meant the spell broke," Bobby takes a wild guess.

"I'd say your right," Dean answers back, his slight disappointment clear.

Lizzy's head cocks to the side slightly, like Castiel is listening to something, and it makes Dean curious.

"What's going on, Cass?"

"Lizzy is upset," he explains. "She's… sad, about Sam." He focuses on Dean. "Why is she so down about this? Isn't this good news?"

Dean just looks right back, feeling the loss of opportunity just as Lizzy does. "It's good news. She thinks so too but… she's sad because Sam won't get the re-do he deserves."

"But isn't that…?"

"Drop it, Cass," Dean says, downtrodden. "You wanna know so bad have a pow-wow with Lizzy in her dome. I don't wanna get into it. Can we all pack it in now?"

So much for the positive attitude for Lizzy's sake. He couldn't keep it up for just a moment.

"Come on, son," Bobby says, an arm around Dean's shoulders. "I think there's a bottle with your name on it back at the house."

"I'll be right back," Castiel says as he looks up at the warehouse with Lizzy's eyes. He then disappears.

"Son of bitch," Dean says with a low bite after seeing his wife fly off angel-style before walking back to the Impala just short of dragging his feet.

"She's fine, Dean," Bobby reminds him as they walk together. "Said so herself."

"Yeah, sure…" Dean answers back. "I mean, my wife and child are being held hostage by an angel that lied to us and has been the king of all shady sheisters, but hey… it's fine."

"Dean…"

"Look, I know what you're gonna say so let me stop you before you even start." Dean stops walking and looks at Bobby. "It's bad enough the way our lives are as it is. Now we got this? When the hell do we catch that break I keep thinking  _has_  to be around the corner because no one's lives can be this fucked up? I'm sick of all this shit. My son has angel DNA already and now Cass is his fucking mom!? What about this is ok? What about all this am I supposed to accept!?"

Bobby simply shrugs. "None of it."

"What!?" Dean asks, not believing he heard right. Bobby always tells him he's wrong and makes it all sound so much better than it is.

"None of this is good, Dean. I agree… but this is the pile of horse shit we just stepped in. So like always, we deal with it. I know it ain't comfortable but it's the way we're gonna get around the problem. Lizzy ain't having that kid early, not if any of us have anything to do about it, so we deal. It's just a day."

"Or two."

"Yes, or two. We can hack this if Lizzy can. Put yourself in her shoes. That's not pretty."

"No… and she shouldn't have to deal with that."

"But she's doing it for your son so you need to be supportive for her. Don't act like it bothers you. Let it be for now and when Cass is gone we put it behind us."

Dean exhales hard once, trying to let it go. Before he does he says, "I just want Lizzy to have the life she's always wanted. This is so fucking out there, so far from regular and normal…" He closes his eyes and sighs. "I want to give them a good life, all of them. My wife, my son, my brother,  _you_ …. Just a boring ass, nothing ever changes, boring and, and safe life. And I can't… I can't." Dean shakes his head and looks at Bobby with something the older man hasn't seen from him in so long. Pleading.

Bobby doesn't say anything at first. He doesn't have the answers this time. He wants to give them the answers, give them everything they should have, but he can't. No one can at this point.

Patting his oldest adopted son on the cheek twice, Bobby simply says, "I know."

Dean bites back on his sorrow, forcing the tears to stop in their tracks before they fall. He's not about to lose it now.

The two walk back to the Impala to find Sam sitting sideways out the backdoor that is no longer there. Dean takes one look at the door off its hinges now that he has a second to and groans out loud.

"Oh, Baby..." he laments, looking his girl over. "She deformed you."

"Where's Lizzy?" Sam asks with wide eyes and a little nervousness as he ignores Dean's worries that seem superficial to the man that doesn't love the car quite as deeply as Dean.

"She's right here," Lizzy's voice evenly answers when she appears out of nowhere, her Glock gripped in her hand.

"Talking in the second now?" Sam smiles and looks at her with weird apprehension.

"No, Sam. She isn't," Lizzy answers.

"L's indisposed. That's Cass," Dean jerks a thumb at his wife's body under the angel's control as he picks up the detached door to his beloved Impala.

"What!?" Sam asks with outrage, standing up and holding the old, ratty blanket tightly against himself. Dean stops short and sighs with stress.

"Help me get Cass' body outta the trunk and into the backseat so I can get the door in there and I'll explain on the way home…"

* * *

 


	12. And Let the Awkward Begin

* * *

The full explanation of what happened took the entire way home plus another ten minutes sitting in the car out in Bobby's driveway to get everything pieced together for Sam. The poor guy was out of it for more than half of the good stuff so he needed the rundown. Now, as he sits in nothing but a tattered, brown fleece blanket in the back seat next to his pregnant sister-in-law as she's currently occupied by an angel of the Lord, he can only think…

"What the fuck?"

Broken completely, Dean just sighs after he gets the whole story out and rests his forehead on the steering wheel of his car.

"It's not been the best day," Bobby tacks on, patting Dean on the shoulder from the passenger side as he hold his flannel shirt against his head to stop the bleeding. "So I say we all get nice and drunk and forget all about it." He gives Sam a look to let him know that now was not the time to keep this conversation going.

"Just let me get some clothes first," Sam answers and starts to get out of the car, Lizzy's hand reaching out and grasping onto his forearm lightly.

"I don't think drinking with a concussion would be wise," her voice says, her other hand pressing into the fabric Bobby has pressed over his head wound. She closes her eyes and bows her head.

As soon as she touched them she lets go.

Sam rolls his wrist and doesn't feel any pain. "Cass, ah… thanks."

Bobby pulls the shirt away from his head, the blood still there but the wound suddenly gone, along with the radiating pain he had felt. "Yeah, um, thanks…"

"It was Elizabeth's idea," Castiel explains as he looks between the two of them with Lizzy's eyes. "She was angry at me for not doing this sooner. She insisted."

"But won't that drain some of your power?" Sam asks, worried about his sister in there.

"Yes, it will take slightly longer to recover but as I told you, Elizabeth insisted. She's not exactly easy to go up against."

"Don't we all know," Bobby jokes with the truth and looks at the angel wearing his adopted daughter. "Thank you, Liz."

Castiel tilts his head. "She says don't be an idjit."

"Fucking brat," Bobby rolls his eyes and opens his car door. "Time to forget today."

Sam pauses before he follows, looking right at Castiel/Lizzy. "Seriously, thank you… Lizzy."

"She says it was her fault anyways. She owed you one."

Sam shakes his head and reaches for the door, opening it and scooting out fast, running for the side door in the cold of late January in just his one item of makeshift clothing. None of this was her fault, especially not his arm, but he chooses his battles in the situation and he does it wisely.

Bobby gives Dean one simple look, not of pity but understanding, and heads into the house along with Sam.

It's quiet in the car for a few minutes, Dean just resting his head on the wheel and Cass sitting quietly in the back seat, looking out the window and seeing through Lizzy's eyes.

"I am just as uncomfortable with this as you are… I want you to know that, Dean," he lets the human know in Lizzy's voice.

"Not… fucking… possible…" Dean complains slowly, everything getting to him far too much.

Castiel sighs. "She misses you, I can tell you that for certain."

"Don't make it worse," Dean lifts his head and sits back. He glances at Lizzy's face in the rearview mirror and looks away right after, not actually seeing her at all in that reflection. "Can you… uh, can you just let her know… I don't think it's her fault?" He sighs heavily, a hand washing down his jaw. "It wasn't. It wasn't her fault… Sam's getting hurt."

"You just did so yourself," Castiel lets him know.

Dean nods, glad he could let her know she wasn't on the hook for that, not like he made her feel like she was in the heat of the moment. "I fucked up."

"How so?"

"Let me count the fucking ways…"

"I can tell you Lizzy only sees one," Castiel tells him with his wife's tone. "She's only upset with one thing…"

"I yelled at her," Dean interrupts and admits, knowing Lizzy can hear him and knowing what it is that Lizzy is referring to. "I fucking yelled at her and I shouldn't have." He looks down at his left hand, the silver ring on his finger reminding him that he pledged his life to her, to love her no matter what and to never treat her like garbage. Once more he let his damaged ego get in the way of that. "She did her best, I know she did. She would never let Sam down." Dean shakes his head and huffs a depressed laugh. "You know, you tell yourself that you won't become something, that you won't be the one thing that you fear turning into more than anything… and then… and you see it in yourself… and, and it makes you sick to your stomach…."

"But you still spoke to me like that, Hot Shot."

Dean snaps his head around to look at Lizzy when her voice sounds like her, all full of warmth and soul. When he sees her he knows she's back and Cass is not taking the helm. Her eyes are bright and honest, her face smiling warmly.

"Yeah, it's me," Lizzy says to him, moving to the center of the seat to be closer to him. Dean turns sideways to face her and she reaches over the seat, taking his hand in hers. "Cass let me drive for a minute."

"Just a minute?" Dean says with sadness at the news.

"Just a minute," she says with a small grin, trying to make it easier for him. "He's gotta be in charge and make sure I don't spend too much energy. The sooner he heals me up the sooner I get to be me again."

"I'm so sorry," Dean jumps to the apology before his time is up. "L, I never meant to talk to you like that."

She squeezes his hands. "Makes me so fucking happy to hear you say that. Now I don't have to slug you in the face like I planned to."

"You still can if you want to."

"I'll keep it in mind." She smiles warmly. He's never one to actually apologize like that. Miracles are real. Dean Winchester admitted wrong doing without prompting. Holy shit.

"Damn, L. I… I went into John mode. I became dad and that… that, that  _thing_  I was, it disgusts me. It's not me. Or at least I don't want it to be."

"It's what you know and what you've seen. Baby, to a certain degree, you couldn't help it. Not that I'm happy about it… but you can't stop what John did to you."

"Becoming him, in that way, is my worst nightmare… well, just after anything happening to you and our son." Dean bows his head. "Guess that makes today my fucking nightmare come true, right?"

He feels one of her hands press against his cheek and he looks at her again.

"Our boy's ok," Lizzy reminds him. "So am I."

"You have an angel in there with you. That's far from ok."

"Well then… I'll be ok in a day or so," she reminds him with a look of sheer love. "And I'm feeling pretty good right about now. You apologized."

"So?"

"Did John ever once apologize for everything he put you through?"

Dean sits for a few seconds, thinking it over. "Once. Right before he died…"

"It took him death to say how sorry he was for raising you the way he did yet the first thing you did when you had the chance was say you were sorry to me," Lizzy tells him, brushing her thumb across his cheek. "You're better than him, Dean. You can't help the lasting impression he left on you but you have something John never had."

"What's that?"

"The ability to be humble."

He furrow his brow with her answer.

"And it takes a strong and truly beautiful man to humble himself when he knows he needs to," Lizzy further explains. "You are an exceptional person. I know you still don't believe me when I say that but it's true. And you proved it today. You apologized. Five years ago you would never have been able to do that."

"Never," Dean huffs with the idea. Damn, he used to be kind of a dick.

"And I would have had to put you in your place through a severe beating because of that… but you've grown up."

"About time, right?" he grumbles.

"I was wondering if it'd ever happen," she lightly digs. "But you're better than him, Dean. You are. And you will never be John. I wouldn't be with you if you if I thought you would turn into that." She leans forward, grabs his jaw, and kisses him deep and slow just one time. Without letting him go she says, "I love you more than anything. You are an incredible husband. You will be a phenomenal father. I can't wait for Sammy to get here so you can prove that… just not for another two months."

"I…" Dean pauses and swallows his emotions so he doesn't break. "I so…  _don't_  deserve you."

It's an old standby he uses, something he says to her all the time, but this time there so much meaning in it that it feels different, heavier.

"Yes you do," Lizzy assures him and kisses him once more. "You absolutely do. You came for me today and you always will. Every time I've truly needed you… you've been there. Dean, you are that knight in shining armor that every girl dreams about finding but never does. Everything you've ever done is for me and our family… every member of it. What you deserve? It's so much more than you'll ever know."

With that Lizzy crushes her lips against the man she loves and lets him know just how much she does in fact believe everything she just said to him.

Dean clutches to her jaw over the back of his seat with desperation all of a sudden. Her forgiveness is more than he feels he deserves and once more she's proven how far she's willing to go to keep this family together.

"I love you," Dean says quickly through his need, pressing his lips frenzied against hers again. "I love you, L."

"And I love you too," Lizzy says with a bright smile and a choked up voice, slowing her role a bit and kissing him sweetly one more time. "But I gotta go."

Squeezing his lids shut with the terrible news, Dean lowers his head and presses his forehead against hers, the unsteady breath in he takes giving him away instantly.

"Hey, you've left me to hit the road so many times in the past seven months," she reminds. "I'll only be gone two days. You can hack this."

Dean sighs one more time but doesn't move or let go of her.

"I'll see you soon," Lizzy tells him, her mouth in a smile as she looks at him. "When I get back we find a way to kill the Mother and we'll run away."

This makes Dean open his eyes and look at her.

"We'll leave," she repeats. "We'll pack it in and drive. Get that house in California and raise our son there. You, me and Sammy, happily ever after and all that shit."

Dean smirks slightly and huffs a quiet laugh. "Sounds good." He doesn't believe it will happen that way but he wants to. He wants to so badly it hurts so he doesn't rebut her when he has to say goodbye.

Lizzy just smiles. "We love you, daddy. And get that face ready for a shiner when I get back, huh?"

Dean nods his return and watches Lizzy sit back in the car seat. She looks at him with complete fondness before her face drops completely. She sits up a little taller, staring at Dean with new eyes once they flash a brilliant blue very quickly.

"I hope that helps get through these next days," her voice says to him but he knows very clearly it isn't her.

"Yeah… thanks for that, Cass," Dean says with bitter anguish as he opens the door of the Impala and gets out. He walks to the side door of the house, ready to get as drunk as he possibly can to make it all easier to hack.

* * *

"Can I as-sk you something'?" Sam wonders to his brother as he lays stretched out on the floor of the living room, whiskey glass in hand and still half full.

"Shoot," Dean answers, downing the rest of his seventh or eighth glass of bourbon from the couch where he's sprawled out.

"You serious-sly happy to hav' me back… or did you wan' little me to stick around?" Sam peers up at Dean with his back pressed to the old carpet, looking for an answer.

"I'm happy, Sammy," Dean says, reaching for the bourbon bottle on the end table to pour another drink. There just couldn't be enough drinks after today.

"You sure?" he tries again and props himself up on his elbows. "I mean… I mean, I guesss, the more I'm thinkin' 'bout it…"

"Spit it out, Foghorn," Dean makes fun with Sam's stuttering, settling a little more into the corner of the couch, his legs stretched out across the cushions.

Sam takes a second to compile his drunken thoughts. "I'd understand."

Dean looks to his brother with a furrow brow and surprise in his eyes.

"Like, you always been there f'r me," Sam tells him, turning into the usual open and far too honest talker that Sam always becomes when he's had too much. "And want good things f'r me. Startin' ov'r… that sounds good."

Dean's too shocked to talk.

"No more hell, an' wall in my head that could fall down… no more guilt an' blood… it's like you could erase it all and start clean. I c'n see how that'd be tempting. I c'n see myself wantin' that f'r Sammy if his life got crazy like ours. I hope it doesn', but… you know…."

Dean huffs a laugh with still running surprise. "Well I'll be damned. Sam agrees with me."

"Don' get used to it," Sam answers, lying back down with his head on the floor. He looks up at the ceiling. "I know you'd take care ah' me… Lizzy too. Thanks for that."

"Yeah, well… we don't have to because your annoying adult self is back," Dean semi-bitches and takes a hefty sip of his whiskey.

Sam laughs at this handily. "Only annoyin' when 'm drunk."

"Damn straight," Dean smiles wide, actually thinking a drunken Sam was in fact not annoying but refreshing in a way. He was never so tightly wound when drunk. Aw hell, even Dean's a little more open and willing to speak when this drunk. "Sam, I'm glad your back. Honestly."

"Yeah?" Sam wonders with surprise.

"Definitely," Dean answers, a big sip more down the hatch. "You think I would make it through goin' after the Mom of All alone, without my stupid kid brother sidekick?"

Sam laughs. "She'd kill you in a second."

"Whoa, whoa… let's not exaggerate, ok? I'd get pretty far… but I wouldn't get the job done," Dean admits, thinking it's very true. "Not without you."

Sam doesn't answer that. It was too heavy anyways.

"Plus, you're  _Uncle Sam_ ," Dean says with total levity. "You gotta be there for my son. You gotta help keep him in line."

"Fuck that," Sam says, not liking the wording Dean uses there. "You keep 'em in line. S'your kid. I'm gonna spoil 'em."

"Spoil him?"

"Hell yeah," Sam says, eyes slipping closed as he speaks. "Gonna buy 'em shit you don' want 'em to have…"

"Like what!?" Dean asks, not at all believing Sam would do such a thing.

"Jet Li movies," Sam says with a hazy smile on his lips.

"Fuck Jet Li!"

"Fuck you," Sam returns with. "And when you an' Lizzy wan' 'em to save room for dinner… we're goin' out f'r ice cream."

Dean grins wide with that thought, his own son out and about with his brother, knowing his brother will treat him so well and he'll never have to worry.

"An' we'll read books, lots o' books," Sam keeps going, his voice fading more every second. "All the books, like you did with me."

Swallowing hard, Dean wishes Sam could remember that they did that very same thing just a day ago. That was a good moment, one of the few rare one they've managed in the past few years. Dean's going to hold on to that as hard as he can.

"You were a good brother, Dean" Sam says to him, eyes closed and body slack with sleepiness. "We had momentss that… sucked, but you tried for me."

"Eh, you woulda done the same for me, Sammy," Dean tries to brush the heavy comment off.

"You're gonna be a good dad," Sam keeps rambling. "You shouldn' worry 'bout that so much. You think you'll fuck Sammy up, don' you?"

Dean pauses, huffing once as he was about to play this one off too but he doesn't. It's a rare moment that Sam and he get to talk honestly. He should take it.

"Am I that obvious?"

"Yep." Sam raises his glass and manages another sip without sitting up, spilling a little in his effort.

"Yeah…" Dean looks down into his glass with shame. He drank far too much tonight, something he's going to need to cut down on. Something his father did far too many times. "I don't wanna be him, Sam. I don't."

"You're not him," Sam answers easily as he knows who Dean is referring to.

"I sometimes am."

"Yeah, but e'ryone is their parents to some… de-degree. But you aren't him. You'll n'ver be dad."

"You really think that, don't you?" Dean questions.

"Know it."

It's the certainty in Sam's voice that gets him. Dean for once actually listens to someone and believes them. Lizzy's told him, Bobby's told him a million times, but he needed to hear it from the one person that would really, truly know. Sam was there, he saw all of their dad. The good, the worse, the really ugly… if anyone could tell him with confidence that he wouldn't become John Winchester it would be Sam.

"Thanks, Sammy," Dean says, his voice quiet. "I actually  _really_  needed to hear that."

There's no response to that other than even breathing with just a hint of snoring deep in it.

Dean looks down and laughs small when he realizes Sam passed out drunk on Bobby's living room floor.

"I am glad you're back, Sam," Dean says as he kills the rest of his own glass and gets comfortable on the couch, closing his eyes too. "So fucking glad you're still around."

* * *

Inhaling deep and moving a bit when he wakes up suddenly, Dean groans with how terrible he feels already. Moving his tongue against the roof of his mouth, the feeling like sandpaper and the taste stale and disgusting, he knows this hangover will be a good one. It's been a long time that he drank that much, so much that it killed his morning. He's learned to deal with the occasional slight hangover but this? This takes the taco.

"Uh," Dean says, rolling to his side. "Sammy." His rough voice looks for his brother that he left asleep on the floor.

There's no response and no sound of movement so Dean pries open his bleary eyes and looks to the side.

"Damn it!" Dean says as he jumps in his place on the couch when he doesn't see Sam on the floor but Lizzy sitting in Bobby's chair, staring at him. "What the fuck, L? You scared the shit outta me."

"That was not my intention."

Her flat tone makes Dean take another look at her. She's sitting with her posture tall and ridged against the chair backing, her hand resting on the upholstered arms and the intense, unblinking look in her eyes reminds him of the day before.

"Right," Dean laments, sitting up slowly while groaning with the pain in his head. He hunches over, elbows on knees and head in hands. "Cass. Why are you sitting there staring at me at…" He checks his watch. "Seven in the morning? Shit."

"Elizabeth was worried," Castiel explains in Lizzy's voice. "She didn't like how much you drank, you or Sam for that matter. She gets concerned when you use that much alcohol as a crutch."

"She's probably gonna hate this move even more then," Dean comments, reaching out to the end table for the nearly empty bourbon bottle from the night before. He takes a big swig straight from it.

"What does hair of the dog mean?"

When Dean finishes his sip he looks at Castiel to answer, knowing it's Lizzy that's thinking of the term. "It means I feel like stomped on crap this morning."

"Ah," Lizzy's head nods when Castiel understands. "You are experiencing alcohol withdrawal."

"Not for long," Dean quips and takes another sip, really needing to feel better.

"I would heal that hangover for you but…"

"Save your energy, Cass," Dean says to prove he understands. "I can handle this. You just get my girl back to me healthy."

"Lizzy thinks you cannot handle this," Castiel informs him. "She's very uncomfortable watching you drink first thing this morning."

"Then stop watching," Dean bitterly answers, standing up and bringing the bottle with him.

"Dean."

"What?" he stops and turns to look at his wife's face.

Castiel stares off for a moment, tilting Lizzy head as he listens to her. "She says you're not him so stop acting like him."

Dean's face grows dark and he grits his teeth.

"I assume you know who him is?"

"Sure do," Dean answers, placing the bottle onto the closest antique table and walking away from Castiel/Lizzy. He can't deal with this right now. "Cass!"

"Yes?" Lizzy voice answers.

"Fuck, not you… my dog," Dean corrects acridly. "Cass, buddy!" He whistles and the dog comes running from the upstairs hallway. He walks around Dean's legs a few times before sitting there, looking up at him.

"He seems afraid of me suddenly," Castiel says to Dean, never having seen the animal show any dislike towards him before now. Today the animal won't even come near him, its tail between its legs when it sees him.

"You're confusing the shit out of him," Dean explains, grabbing the dog leash from the wall by the side door and clipping it onto his best furry friend. "You look like Lizzy but you don't feel like Lizzy. He doesn't get it."

"That makes sense. Dogs do tend to be sensitive to many things that humans naturally are not. He could most likely tell the difference between Lizzy and… well, Lizzy and me in one."

"Exactly," Dean brushes off and grabs his coat. He heads out the door as soon as he can. Being anywhere near his Lizzy while Castiel is in charge just isn't comfortable to him in any way. He can't see it, can't deal with it.

Maybe if he works on Baby all day he can stay away from him… her… them. And then he can just drink himself to sleep tonight and avoid it all together and tomorrow he can get Lizzy back….

Eh, hope in one hand and shit in the other. He knows which one usually fills up first.

* * *

"Son… of… a… bitch!" Dean struggles out as he pulls on the metal framing of his poor, mangled Baby, trying to reshape the metal around the door to its usual form. "Fuck!"

Dean lets go and backs up a step, hands automatically on his hips with frustration.

He breathes out heavily once, this car work not exactly putting him in the better place he'd hoped it would.

"Trouble?"

Dean whips his head around to see Lizzy standing behind him, her face set in Castiel's usual serious expression.

"Thought you weren't using your powers?" Dean questions, no longer surprised by the sudden company.

"I didn't," Castiel answers. "I walked through the side door. You must not have heard me through your own profanity laced yelling."

Dean rolls his eyes at this. "What do you need, Cass?"

"Elizabeth wanted to check on you," he says with the woman's voice.

"Tell her I'm fine," Dean says, walking to his toolbox he took from Bobby's garage out back.

"You just did. It didn't help calm her much but she heard you."

"Awesome. Don't you have a wall to go stare at or something?" Dean mentions as he came out here to avoid this combo of people he's awkwardly dealing with right now. The first half of the day Castiel spent sitting Lizzy's body in a wooden chair in the living room while staring straight out into the distance at nothing at all. It was far too creep.

"I spent the morning conversing with your wife internally. We spoke of so many things like the future, her becoming a mother, the state of the human race as we both view it, the beauty of the world as it is one of such unique detail… it was quite lovely actually," Castiel says with a warm smile. It was rare he got to talk to any human at length about anything. The morning reinstated his belief that the race is still nobler than any other the angel has encountered. His Elizabeth is truly a good, wide eyed, curious and honorable person… just as he has always seen. His affections for her have now grown and he hopes that he's made great strides in getting her back to a place of full trust and acceptance of him.

"Glad the pow-wow served you guys well," Dean says back, a crowbar in his hand as he peeks to the ground next to the detached door and inspects the damage on the hinges.

"It really did…" Castiel's off-character grin stays put. "And that is why I personally am here now."

"You wanna wax philosophical with me?" the hunter asks with wide eyes.

"Yes. I would enjoy that very much." The smile on Lizzy's lips is too much like Castiel for it to be in his comfort zone.

This is not what Dean was prepared to hear.

"Maybe another time, Cass," Dean says, turning back to his car.

Castiel watched him and doesn't like the reaction he's getting. "I know I have not been as available as I'd like to be lately with… Heaven being what it is and all, but I do wish I had more time in the grand scheme of things."

"What'd you mean?" Dean wonders, using a crowbar to help bend the door frame back to where it needs to be.

"I mean that… with humans you only have a short, tiny little millisecond to enjoy them before they're gone. Your lifespan is a blink of the eye to my kind. I would like to think I didn't waste the time I have not actually understanding the few people I care about while I can."

Peering over at Castiel with disbelief Dean has to ask, "So you're saying you want to understand me better."

"Yes. After speaking with Elizabeth at length I came to discover that she and I, for as strong a link as we have, didn't really know much of each other and how we view life uniquely until today. Considering the quite profound bond you and I also share I thought it would be good to know more about you, Dean."

"The hell do you want to know?"

Castiel sits Lizzy's body down onto the grassy, overgrown lawn, her legs crossed Indian style and hands pressed to the ground, and looks over to Dean. "What is your stance on nature versus nurture?"

" _That's_  what you want to ask me?" Dean questions, disbelieving. Jesus, this guy is by far the weirdest fucking friend he's ever had. "Of all the shit to ask in the fucking world you choose this?"

"Yes. Considering that very soon you will be a father I think it's an important and complex question that you should seriously ponder."

Dean sighs with his eyes closed, counts to three, and answers. "I'm a fucking prime example of nurture winning the prize, Cass. I'm everything my father wanted me to be. Bad person to ask about this."

"But Sam is nothing like what your father wanted  _him_  to be," the angel returns. "He's nature's proof. He is absolutely nothing like you, Dean, yet he was raised exactly the same way. Why is that?"

"We weren't raised the same," Dean rebuts loudly. "I had the shit deal. Sam didn't have it easy but it was sure easier than my place in this family. I was a soldier and nothing else. Sam… Sam got some form of respect. I knew dad loved him every step of the way. Me? I was a means to an end, the end being keep Sammy safe."

"You thought John didn't love you?"

Dean stops, his brow furrowing for just a second. "At times."

"He always loved you, Dean. He didn't know how to show it exactly… but he loved you both equally."

"Funny fucking way of showing it," Dean grumbles while observing the bent framing of his beloved car.

"Why do you think he was so afraid to show you that?" Castiel wonders, having observed the Winchester family enough through his time on Earth.

"I don't know," Dean answers, annoyed by the difficult question as he pauses his work and sits sideways out the gaping hole in his car that used to have a door to it.

"Why did he treat you so differently, beside the fact that Sam's fate was on the line? Why did it make you two totally different people?"

"I… I don't know." Suddenly Dean's actually contemplating the huge question. Why are they so damn different? They both grew up in the same shitty life with the same tough father, eating the same terrible foods and staying in the same crappy motels.

"Well, I see there being a few different reasons for it. One reason, however, I feel is the main factor," Castiel begins to explain himself. "I think the fact that you remember your mother at all is the main difference."

Dean's face hardens at the mention of his mother.

"I do not mean to sully the memory of your mother, Dean. I would never do such a thing, especially when I know what a good mother she was."

And Dean relaxes a bit, remembering her clearly in the limited memories he has of her.

"Despite her making a deal to save her husband's life Mary very rarely made mistakes concerning her children," Castiel explains. "You remember her, how kind she was and how much love she showed you. Sam, however, never had the chance to experience any of that. He only knew of you, your father, and hunting. Family cannot mean the same thing to him as it does to you for this reason… well, not exactly at least."

It hurts to hear this but sadly it makes sense.

"So, through the example you and Sam have given me, on top of the molding and, as much as I hate to use this word, manipulating Heaven has done to Elizabeth I would say that nurture wins out in most cases but not all. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Well, when you put it like that," Dean says in a sad huff, somehow feeling lower than before.

"Yes, I think I'm correct," Castiel smiles slightly as he looks around the scrap yard. "And I think this will help you make the right decisions in raising your own son. You know what not to do so you can be sure to do everything you can to make Samuel well-adjusted and happy, and unburdened by his childhood unlike you."

It grows quiet and Dean's thankful for that. The talking, the voice being his wife's yet the words being that of an angel, it made his ears hurt to hear. This isn't making things any better.

"Also, I have always wondered about the rabbit on the cereal boxes," Castiel adds in, Lizzy's eyes snapping back onto Dean's. "The white furred one with the fruit flavored cereal?"

"Trix?" Dean wonders, curious eyes once more on the angel with his total shift in topic.

"Yes, that's right. Trix… Dean, have you ever wondered why the rabbit was considered so silly? Why he wasn't allowed to eat the very cereal his face was used to sell?"

Blinking a few times, the hunter is dumbfounded. "You serious?"

"My working theory is that he is a diabetic… or has some form of dietary issue concerning sugar…"

"I hear he's just a real douche bag," Dean brushes the conversation away. It's too fucking inane to attempt right now. "Cass, I'm just gonna work on my car in silence if you don't mind."

His eyes narrow at Dean. "This is still unpleasant for you, isn't it?"

"Little bit," Dean says with sarcasm. "Please, I know you're saving L here and I'm insanely grateful… but I can't deal with all this. I'm just gonna fix my car, get hammered, and sleep until you're ready to get the fuck outta my wife." Dean cringes immediately with how terrible that sounded.

"I do sympathize," Castiel answers and stands up, walking towards the Impala. "I will leave you." He grabs the door frame and single-handedly bends it back into place. He then turns Lizzy's body to leave but pauses. "Before I go… I want to alleviate some of your concerns."

Dean rolls his eyes with his waning patience. "How the hell you plan on doing that?"

"By letting you know that the demons do not understand the importance of your son, at least not yet," Castiel explains. "Only the angels are aware of Samuel's meaning and purpose. Demons clearly don't. If they did they wouldn't have used Elizabeth and your son as a bargaining chip for your brother. They would have simply killed her. This is a very good thing, Dean. They won't care so much about Samuel if they don't know of his destiny. I plan to help you keep it this way."

As the angel gives him the space he truly needs by walking back towards the house Dean lets out a tense breath and checks his watch. Two in the afternoon. Close enough, he thinks as he grabs a beer from the cooler and chugs a good amount down.

* * *

 


	13. The Punch Heard 'Round the World

* * *

"Hey!" Sam yells out the side door at his brother, still working out on his car at four at night. "Dean!"

"Yeah!?" Dean calls back, stumbling a little back from the Impala as he tries to look at Sam. The movement made him lose some of his balance.

"Dude! You've been out there all damn day," Sam reminds him, worried about the guy. "It's friggin' freezing. Come inside."

"Almost done," Dean waves his wrench in the air once and goes back to work, his gate slower than normal and giving him away.

Sam sighs with what's going on and when he spies the several empty bottles of beer on the ground at Dean's feet it becomes even clearer. He halfway to tanked by now.

Walking down the side steps, taking his time and being as nonthreatening as possible, Sam makes his way over to Dean. The man is a mess with this whole situation and Sam's well aware that there's nothing he can say to make it better. He can just be there for him.

"You got the door back on?"

"Ah… almost," Dean answers, taking a big swig from his current beer. "Just need to finish it up."

"Wanna finish it tomorrow?" Sam tries, knowing he's got about a fifty-fifty at making Dean do anything at this point. "Grab a beer with me instead?"

"Um…"

"Come on, man," Sam starts, opening the cooler and pulling out a beer for himself. As he uncaps it he leans against the Impala. "Just take a second. Relax."

Dean just shoots his brother one pissed off look, one that says no fucking way.

"Look, I know this bites," Sam tries to level with him now, taking a new approach. "I'm not asking you to talk or to, to do  _anything_. I'm asking you to just… stop. Everything'll be fine so stop."

Dean closes his eyes for a second, knowing Sam wants his brother's mind to stop assaulting him. But if he doesn't drink and occupy his mind somehow then this whole situation keeps right on sucking ass. Busy is better.

"Hey, ah…" Sam says, sitting up on the hood of the Impala and settling in with his back against the windshield. "You remember that time back in, uh, I think it was Mud Lick…"

"Stupid name," Dean comments with the town they stayed in's ridiculous name.

"It  _was_  a stupid name," Sam says as he recalls the week they spent there. "You remember that girl there… I think her name was Rebecca…"

"Regina," Dean corrects, on Sam's wave of thought immediately.

"Right…"

"Mm. Man, she was hot," Dean admits, getting lost in the moment as he drops his wrench in favor of his beer and takes his place leaning up against the side of the car by Sam. "Long legs, long hair…"

"Long list of bad shit she's gotten into," Sam huffs a laugh. "I remember her little brother at school was my age and he kept telling me his sister was bad news."

"Bad news was my favorite kinda news back then," Dean comments, sipping his beer. At around age sixteen Dean was a walking hard on, looking for ass in every place he could… the bad girls being his favorite.

"No shit," Sam laughs. "And I tried to tell you… no,  _warn_  you about her but you didn't listen."

"Wasn't gonna listen to my virgin little brother about what chick not to get after."

"But you sure regretted it after," Sam laughs loudly. "You couldn't sit for, like, a day."

"Yeah, she was a little rougher than I was ready for," Dean calmly admits. "Felt like I'd screwed up dad's orders and he beat my ass good for it. And I'm not used to being on the _receiving_  end of something like that."

"Ha!" Sam laughs loudly with the recollection. "God she ate you alive."

"Eh, it was a learning experience, I'll give you that," Dean says, a slight smile quirking up the corner of his mouth. "And I didn't even let her do everything she wanted to."

"Do I want to know?" Sam asks, already sure he doesn't.

"Yeah… no, you don't," Dean comments, taking a long pull on his beer and tossing the empty aside. That chick was nuts. He didn't want to say aloud what she wanted him to do even if Sam asked.

"Wouldn't be the only crazy chick we've met out there," Sam comments absently as he leans back, looking up at the wide open sky and the uncountable bright stars.

"Not by a fucking long shot," Dean returns with, opening the cooler for another beer. "Met some good ones too, though."

"Damn straight," Sam agrees, thinking back on the past. Sarah, Madison, Kara, Lou…. "Plenty of good ones out there for those good, normal guys."

"Yeah…"

"With the very rare exceptions, of course." Sam knows Dean gets what he's saying.

"Yeah," Dean repeats. "There's always a couple I guess."

"Yeah…" Sam echoes and moves on before this gets to Dean too much. "Wasn't there that psycho chick from Orlando that came after you or something?"

"Oh yeah!" Dean perks up with that memory. "Shit, she was fucking insane! What was her name again?"

"How would I know?" Sam laughs. "You're the one that fucked her."

"And too good apparently," Dean remarks quickly as he gulps some more beer. "She found our motel room and was banging down the door a few days later when I never called her."

"Why didn't you call her?"

"Did you see her?" Dean questions, shuddering with disgust. "What a mistake."

"If she was that ugly then why did you bother with her at all?" Sam questions with confusion.

"She was there… and I was drunk," Dean shrugs.

"That easy, huh?"

"That easy," Dean repeats in answer. "Or at least I used to be."

"I like this version of you better," Sam laughs a little with the change in his brother.

"Oh sure, 'cause I'm just a real peach now," Dean rebuts, raising his bottle of beer at the mention of his better ways nowadays.

"Present circumstances being the exception, yeah. You're way better than you used to be."

"If you say so."

"I do," Sam doesn't give up. "Doesn't mean the past isn't still really entertaining to me…"

"Shut up," Dean shakes his head and smirks just slightly.

"What about the girl in Arlington, when I was still in high school I think…."

"Arlington," Dean squeezes his eyes shut and thinks hard. "Oh, shit. The girl with the third nipple."

"She had a third nipple!?"

"Yup, right under her left boob." Dean nods sincerely, pointing to his own chest where it was.

"That have anything to do with her kicking you out of her apartment pants-less at three a.m. making me have to come and get you?"

"Yep," Dean huffs a quiet laugh at that particular memory. "She got pissed when I sucked on it."

"Dean! Jesus," Sam starts cracking up.

"It was just… there. Looking at me," Dean honestly gets a laugh out of this, his brother shockingly able to help out in this shitty situation. "A man sees a nipple on a woman and he's not supposed to go for it?"

"She didn't like that I take it?"

"She said some crap about being self-conscious about it or something. I don't know. I was kinda tipsy. She got crazy pissed when I ignored her and did it again. She then threw me out on my ass… without giving me my pants back. Claimed she was keeping them as reparations for emotional distress."

"At least you got your phone so you could call me."

"No shit, right?" Dean huffs another laugh before taking a swig as Sam gets a gut laugh from the situation.

"How the fuck did you manage to get yourself into so many fucked up situations in your life?"

"Living on the road and not giving a fuck, Sammy," Dean says, looking down at the dirt under his feet. "That's about all it takes."

"Gave me plenty to laugh about," Sam comments, sipping his beer and seeing how this is working, at least for the time being. As the sun sets and dusk covers the sky in deep hues of red and blue, he keeps him going. "Like poor Lilly Jackson…"

"She asked for it!" Dean turns to face Sam and give him a serious look.

"Nobody asks for that, Dean."

" _She_  did," Dean swears to it. "And just 'cause she didn't like she decided to get all nuts on me…"

" _Sure_ … sure, that's how it went."

"It's the truth!"

"I'm sure it is…"

" _It is_!"

"And I have no reason at all not to believe you," Sam laughs, reaching into the back of his brain for more fuel for the ridiculous conversation. This is working and for the first time since they got back Dean doesn't have that horrid scowl on his face, the one that makes him look old, depressed, and just pitiful. "Just sayin', you have a track record…"

"Yeah, an awesome one."

"If that's how you see it…"

* * *

_I want to know what love is!_

"What the hell?" Bobby asks to no one in particular as he sits across from Sam at his desk in the study. They both glance at one another before looking up the stairs at the racket coming from the next floor. "Is that for real?"

_I want you to show me!_

"Shit, he's tanked," Sam complains when he hears the terrible, way off key voice yell-singing the cheesy love ballad with a slight hint of a slur. He sits back in his wooden chair and sighs.

_I want to feel what love is!_

"As much as I can't blame him…" Bobby starts as he points up to the ceiling. "That's God awful."

_I know you can show me!_

"And he's a liar. He claims to hate late Foreigner," Sam huffs in a small laugh. "You wanna do the honors or should I?"

"Have at, Sam," Bobby answers over the karaoke party, not up for the drunken bullshit that Dean likes to put on when he can't handle the world. Dean used to do this all the damn time, especially the year his soul was on Hell's waiting list and he dropped Lizzy all together. Nah, his brother can deal with this one. Bobby has his sympathy for the man, sure, but he draws the line at whatever this clown show is he's putting on.

"Thanks," Sam answers back with pure sarcasm.

"Hey, you asked," Bobby reminds him, Sam flashing him a grin on his way out of the room.

Climbing the stairs, taking them in no particular rush as he knows it's never fun dealing with a wasted Dean, he mentally prepares. If he's mean-Dean then it'll be a fight. If it's sad-Dean he needs to be ready for the self-loathing mess he's sure to find. If it's hopeless-Dean… well, Sam just prays it isn't that version of his brother up there.

_In my life… there's been heartache and pain. I don't know if I can face it again. I can't stop now, I've travelled so far… to change this lonely life._

"Now I just wish I had my lighter on me," Sam pokes fun from the doorway of the nursery as he looks in on Dean with arms crossed over his chest. Dean's lying on his back on the spare bed, whiskey bottle in one hand and a look of drunken stupor on his face.

"Sammy," Dean says with an odd amount of innocence buried in his intoxicated voice. "This song is great and you know it."

Dean keeps looking at the ceiling, taking another sip from the nearly empty Irish whiskey bottle.

"No, it's cheese for your ears. It's awful," Sam laughs a little as he walks into the room. "And you hate eighties Foreigner."

"Foreigner is good on occasion," Dean explains.

"I thought that was Bon Jovi?"

"What the fuck is the difference?"

"There's a  _very_  big difference," Sam assures him as he sits at the foot of the mattress and looks over his brother's form. His entire body is slack with booze, his eyes heavily lidded, and his eyes remain trained on the white, dingy ceiling. "What's this about?"

"S'bout getting drunk, man," Dean simply answers.

"Why did you have to get  _so_  drunk though?" Sam keeps prying. "This is high school shit, Dean. I can't even remember the last time you were able to get this shitfaced."

"Shut up…"

"Good one."

"You come here to spit in my whiskey or listen to good music?" Dean complains when his pity party is crashed. "I want to know what love is!" he keeps singing, despite his brother's intrusion. "I want you to show me! Show me love is real… yeah. I want to know what loves is…."

Dean finishes off the song, his tone falling from yelling out the lyrics to becoming something sorrowful and just too pitiful for words. Ok. Sad-Dean it is.

When the next song starts Sam cringes.

"Alright, enough music," he declares as he reaches for the IPod dock and pulls Lizzy's IPod from it.

"Dude!" Dean complains and for the first time pops his head up to look at his brother. "That was White Snake."

"I'm well aware," Sam smirks, never having seen Dean get so upset over shitty bands from the eighties being taken from him.

"I love that song," Dean says so quietly it sounds to Sam like it was only for himself as he drops his head back down on his pillow and closes his eyes once more.

"Since when are you a White Snake fan?" Sam asks with a small laugh.

"Since L danced to that song on my car a few years ago," he answers, his face smiling softly at the memory.

Sam's face scrunches up instantly. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I don't wanna know about that…"

"It was so awesome," Dean recalls, his tone dreamy as he ignores his brother's dislike. "She stripped on my car, Sam. She fucking did it. I didn't think she would but she's got balls of steel. Even did the old school Tawny Kataen and did a full spilt on the Baby's hood with only her underwear on." Dean opens his eyes and peeks over to Sam. "Did you know she could do that?"

"Uh… no…" Sam answers, not wanting to know any more.

"Well she can," Dean says a slow smirk spreading across his mouth. "Mm, she definitely can."

"Dean, I really don't…"

"And then she even let me fuck her on the hood. Bent her right over the grill… she even asked me spank her…"

"Dean! Stop!" Sam just short of yells at his brother. "That's Lizzy. That's like my sister. I don't wanna hear that shit."

"Such a prude," Dean grumbles.

"Not a prude because I don't want to hear about how perverted Lizzy is."

"Lizzy's not perverted. She fucking sexy as hell," Dean scolds, sticking up for her instantly. "Fucking miss her…"

And this is where Sam's heart breaks a little for his brother.

"I know you do, man," Sam says with real sympathy. "But you got through today already. You're more than halfway there."

"Awesome," Dean says, his caustic attitude ever present, and takes down another gulp of far too cheap Irish whiskey, Lizzy's favorite kind of whiskey.

"Don't do this to yourself."

"Do what?"

"This," Sam gestures at Dean's current actions with his hand. "The whole wallowing in a drunken haze thing. You're better than this, or at least you have been for a while now."

"Because I had her," Dean says childlike and nearly silently.

"I kinda always assumed," his little brother adds on. "And she's still here. She's downstairs right now…"

"That's Cass."

"But it's still her too," Sam rebuts. "You can even talk to her if you want…"

"Through an angel," Dean says with anger. "I just… I'm not sure how much more… how much more shit is she supposed to deal with?"

Sam shoots Dean a funny look. "Lizzy's been dealing with this kinda crap for so long now…"

"Because of us," Dean interrupts before more quietly tacking on, "Because of me."

"Because of  _you_?" Sam asks with surprise.

"Why else?"

"So… what you're saying is, and correct me if I'm wrong… Lizzy's life is what it is because of you?" Sam asks, going into persecuting lawyer mode instantly.

"Yep," Dean says, raising the bottle in his hand. "That's what I'm saying."

Before he can take another drink Sam snatches the bottle in his hand away.

"Hey!" Dean complains.

"You had plenty," Sam brushes off before quickly asking, "Answer this; did you kill Lizzy's parents?"

Dean looks over to Sam with a skeptical face.

"Did you?" Sam tries again.

"Well… no…"

"Did you turn Lou?"

"No."

"Did you help Lizzy decide to go into hunting, or did you put the angel blood in her system… or did you say yes to letting Cass take her over?"

"No…"

"Then shut up, Dean," Sam says with exasperated exhaustion. "You think every damn thing is always your fault but it's not. You couldn't help any of that stuff. Nothing Lizzy has ever gone through or is going through now is your fault."

"But she…" Dean starts to say, what he's not sure, but stops to actually think. Sam makes all valid points. "I left her. That was my fault."

Sam remember that disaster all too well. They were both horrible messes for almost a whole year without each other when Dean decided to dump her when his soul was on Hell's reserve list. "Yeah, ok, I'll let you feel the guilt for that… even if Lizzy's forgiven you for that one a long ass time ago."

"And I'm pretty sure that kid is my fault… or at least partially." Dean raises his eyebrows once in lewd jest and Sam groans.

"Even drunk and wallowing in your own self-hatred you're disgusting."

"What's disgusting about that!?" Dean asks with offence. "Sam, sex can be a very beautiful thing…"

"Not when you do it," Sam says knowingly as he stands up from the bed when he pats Dean on the knee. "Catch some shut eye, huh?"

"Don't tell me what to do," Dean complains, his eyes already closed again.

"And no more power ballads," Sam says over his shoulder on his way to the door. "Our ears are bleeding down there."

He flicks the light switch, the bedroom in darkness now, and turns to look at Dean as he's already basically out for the night.

The irony of it all hits Sam just then. All week, and for a good chunk of his life also, Dean's been taking care of his little brother. This time around Sam got to take of him for once.

Smiling his way down the stairs Sam lets the feeling of getting to pay his big brother back, even if in the most tiny of ways, wash over him. It feels pretty damn good.

* * *

"Dean."

It's his name he heard alright and with the sound of it he comes out of his thick, dreamless darkness and into the waking world once more. Damn it. The blackout was way more comfortable. This hangover that's coming with being awake is just fucking terrible.

"Mm?" Dean questions without real words and picks his head up from the pillow. He looks both ways before seeing Lizzy's form standing at the edge of the bed in the nursery.

"I'm better," Castiel tells him in Lizzy's voice. "Get up."

"Better?"

"Yes."

"So you're good to ditch L and fix her up?" he questions groggily and in the most basic way he can.

"Yes. I would like to get this done. I have work to attend to," Castiel explains and leaves the room.

"Where you wanna…?" Dean starts to ask.

"Panic room," Lizzy's serious voice answers before Cass is gone for good.

Dean sits up, feeling the effects of alcohol withdrawal all over his body, but it doesn't matter. He's on his feet in a flash, keeping his clothes from the day before on and yanking boots onto his feet. Running through the house he makes it in record time to the basement. He finds Lizzy's body standing over the lifeless form of Castiel's (well, really, Jimmy's) stretched across the cot in the middle of the room. They stowed him there for the time being as they didn't know what else to do. Sam is by his feet and Bobby is standing by his head already.

"Alright, let's do this," Dean says with too much excitement.

"I will need to ask her to reject me," Castiel begins to explain. "When she does I will return to my usual vessel. After that, once I am back, I will heal Elizabeth." He specifically turns Lizzy's eyes to look at Dean. "I may need a moment to readjust and recuperate before I can heal her. She might be in a fair amount pain in the meantime.  _Do not overreact_. Have patience."

"How bad?" Dean questions with clear concern.

"Bad… but Elizabeth is strong. She has already assured me she can handle it."

Dean nods, understanding what the angel tells him. "I hear ya, Cass. Just do it. Bring L back. I trust you, man."

"Anything goes wrong, we're all here," Sam add sin to help. "We're all ready but you have this, Cass. You wouldn't let us down."

Castiel feels the tug at the corners of Lizzy mouth with what Sam and Dean say. Hearing that the men trust him again is just too good. He tried so hard to get back to this place and now that he's there again he's happy. And there's very few things that make the angel happy these days.

He nods at Dean once, silently reassuring him, before closing his eyes.

_Elizabeth, I need to warn you once more to be sure. I have held off the effects of your ailment for as long as I can however if you reject me now it will hurt. Something is very wrong, much like you feared before I came to you, and I will need a little time before I can heal you. It may be unlike much else you have felt before…_

_I can handle anything for my son, Cass. Let's just fix this. Please._

_Then all you need to do is reject me if you think you're ready._

_Castiel… get the fuck outta me, huh?_

_Of course only my Elizabeth would reject me in such a way..._

_I love you too, Cassie. Now out._

When Castiel opens Lizzy's eyes they're a bright, vibrant glowing blue. The hunters all take a step back with the sight when her body starts to radiate a brilliant white. A second before he's forced to close his eyes with the sheer blinding force of Castiel's grace, Dean can just make out the dark outline of two huge, black wings extending from Lizzy's back.

Pressing Lizzy's palm onto the forehead of Jimmy Novak, the light explodes throughout the panic room harshly, the shockwave hitting everyone in it and making them stumble on their feet a bit. As soon as it's over the men open their eyes and look around, the room littered with broken glass light bulb pieces as it's now only lit by the sunlight seeping in through the ceiling vent.

Standing there looking down at Castiel's form is Lizzy. She takes a deep breath and her lungs expand when she tells them to.

"L?"

She looks up to Dean standing on the opposite side of the cot Castiel is still on and still unmoving.

"Yeah… yes…" she says and nods, so happy to hear her own voice when she tries to use it.

The way she smiles with genuine happiness and everything that is Lizzy, the room lets out a collective sigh of relief.

Dean doesn't need anything else. He rushes around the bed and immediately hugs her tight. Lizzy responds, her arms around him and clutching to him with content love.

"You ok?" Dean asks without letting go.

"I think so," she answers, getting a glimpse of Sam off to the side. She grins wide at him to see him back and himself, adult and all.

And Sam just nods back, letting them have their moment as much as he'd like to butt in. He wants to thank Lizzy for everything; for caring for him through all this, for putting herself and her son in danger to help him when he was hurt, and for being stronger than anyone could ever have been expected to be yet still getting through this with grace… especially since she's only gone through any of this because something came after him.

"You feel ok, hon?" Bobby wonders, knowing they were warned about her health for a reason.

"I'm ok," Lizzy shrugs, not feeling anything off.

"Are you sure?" Dean questions and ends the hug, keeping his hands on her shoulders. "Because Cass said…"

"Oh!" Lizzy shouts sharply and grabs her stomach. "Shit! Oh, no!" Her face twisted in pain, she falls instantly to her knees on the floor. With her back hunched her entire body tenses up with the severe pain, her back and lower stomach nearly exploding with the severity.

"Lizzy!?" Sam shouts as Dean drops down next to her with panic.

Dean was somewhat prepared for this but he would never truly be prepared for any sort of pain Lizzy will ever be in. He'd rather take it himself and multiply it by ten than her ever have to feel an ounce of anything painful.

"L, what is it?" Dean asks as her hand slaps into his chest and grabs hard onto his shirt from where he kneels next to her, her hand shaking all the while.

"Hurts," she struggles out and holds her breath, her body rocking as it doesn't know what else to do. Her voice makes such pitiful sounds that the men around her start to realize Castiel wasn't joking in the least.

"Hey," Dean says, prying her hand off his shirt and grasping onto it with his own. With the strength she clamps down on it with he grows even more nervous. Dean looks to Bobby. "Get Cass up!"

Bobby dashes to the bed and shakes the unmoving form, calling the angel's name and doing his best to get their only hope back.

"Lizzy?" Sam calls to her as he joins them on the floor, sitting in front of her as Dean's to her side, one arm tightly around her back as he holds her into him. "Lizzy, you can do this. Hang on. Cass'll be here, he said he would."

"Where the fuck is he?" Dean asks out loud to his brother and Sam can see the true panic in his brother's eyes.

"Cass said to be patient," Sam reminds him but when Lizzy immediately screams out in pain, her back twitching with the agony, Dean's not hearing anything his brother says.

"Lizzy, listen to me," Dean says as quietly and as calmly as he can to her, ducking his head down to try and get a look at her now curled up form. "You listen to my voice." She can't even look up at him with the strength of the pain she's feeling. Dean pulls her in tighter, his hand to the side of her head. "You're the strongest person in this room right now. You can do this. Cass will be back."

"Soon… please…" she gasps and struggles out, her weight leaning into him and asking silently for more help. "Can't." She wasn't even aware that she was crying until the tears drips off her nose and onto the concrete floor below.

"He's coming, sweetheart. Hang on," Dean assures her, his heart ripping apart with this situation. "Just hold on for Sammy. You can do this."

"Oh God," she barely is able to say, her sobbing starting. "Please… so bad…"

His hand throbbing with her grip on it, Dean presses his cheek to the top of her head. He feels helpless, completely helpless, and he looks to Sam for what he doesn't know. This is just simply devastating him, watching what she has to endure for the sake of their family.

But Sam doesn't fall into the sadness of it all. That's not his style. Instead he gets angry.

On his feet quickly Sam turns and views the lifeless form of Castiel on the cot.

"Get up," Sam demands, his teeth clenched in anger. "Castiel, get the fuck up!"

He doesn't move and Bobby looks up at him as he silently tells him to stop. Sam's having none of it.

Leaning his tall frame down over the bed he grabs the tie around Jimmy's neck and pulls, making his head lift just a little. "Castiel, you get your ass back here," he said low and frighteningly serious as Lizzy yells out for help once more. "Get back here and help her right now!"

An eyelash flutter gives him hope.

"Cass!?" he says with hope, the angel's eyes opening and looking at Sam disoriented.

"I told you to be patient," the angle grumbles and shoves Sam's hand away in an unsteady motion. He's not all there but he's trying.

Sam takes a step back and give's Castiel room. The angel sits up, feet over the edge of the bed and onto the floor. He tries to stand but wavers side to side and sits back down.

"Cass… please. Man… you gotta help her," Dean asks quietly and with utter desperation.

Castiel leans forward and reaches for Lizzy's anguished form. He places his hand on the top of her head and closes his eyes.

Lizzy inhales hard when she can feel the change. The pain disappears in a flash, faster than she could have ever hoped for, and the second it's gone she feels as though it never happened. She's as good as new.

As Castiel's eyes roll back, he drops back onto the bed, completely drained, and Lizzy sits on the floor bonelessly as she puts her entire weight onto her husband and pants in recuperation.

As suddenly as the commotion in the room starts it's stopped. Silence takes over, only cut by Lizzy's harsh breathing.

"Lizzy?" Dean questions, not ready to accept anything until he hears it from her. "You alright?"

He feels her nod her head against his chest as she takes in air deeply while trying to mentally rebound as well as physically.

Dean lifts her chin up to look at him. "Everything is good in there too?" He looks down at her pregnant stomach.

"Yes," she answers, eyes heavily lidded.

He kisses her forehead and pulls her in tighter, letting his grip on her hand go to hug her close with a palm pressed firmly into her stomach.

"Shit," Bobby says as he checks on Castiel's still form, lifting a lifeless lid to take a peek. "He said he was ready, didn't he?"

"That's what he told us all," Sam answers, clearly seeing that he might have exaggerated.

"Me too. He lied," Lizzy suggests, eyes closing with her own exhaustion. "He felt like he needed to give me back to you. He saw what this did to you and just wanted it to end."

Dean keeps her in his arms, not ever wanting to let her go again after all this, and closes his eye. "Stupid bastard…"

"He saved our son. Don't call him that."

Dean agrees but doesn't says so. Instead he places a kiss in her hair and doesn't move. At least she back. As long as Lizzy is with him then the rest they can figure out.

* * *

"There you are," she can hear Bobby's voice say with levity despite some concern and she turns her head to look at him. She blinks the sleep out of her eyes and smiles when she can tell that she's in the living room on the couch and Bobby's there with her, sitting in his favorite chair as usual.

"I'm here," she answers quietly before being hit be a huge yawn.

"'Bout damn time too," Bobby says to her, closing his huge dusty volume and focusing only on her. "Thought that husband of yours was gonna give himself a heart attack waiting to see you up and ok."

"I'm sure he was," she laughs, knowing it's true. Dean was definitely scared and annoying while she was out and she didn't need to see it to know it's true. "Where is he?"

"I kicked him outta the house," the older man answers with a huff. "He was hovering and worrying… and pissing me off in the process. He's out back reattaching the door to the Impala."

"Oh shit," she says as she remembers, a hand pressed to her forehead. "I forgot that happened."

"You had enough on your mind," Bobby says knowingly and smirking.

"Yeah I did. That sucks though. He must be so pissed."

"It'll give him something to do and keep his stress level down," Bobby shrugs.

"There's always a silver lining," she grins with how Bobby chooses to look at things. Lizzy lets herself think through the past few days and realizes how much actually happened. "Lemme see if I have this right…" she starts while sitting up slowly, her size and exhaustion taking its toll on her. "Sam's back to his adult self and safe, that demon bitch is dead, or at least I hope so, I'm back to normal and so is my son… and my husband accidentally kissed my angel." She shares a huge, amused smile at her father figure and they both get a good laugh out of that one.

"I suggest you wait a few days before you give him a hard time on that one," Bobby tells her despite the giant grin on his face. "With everything that just happened he's still a little sore. He needs a minute."

"I can only imagine," Lizzy laughs a little more. She shakes her head and sighs now that it's all over with. "Seven months and I stayed away from everything. I kept my boy safe and far away from anything that could hurt him… and then poof, all that work down the drain."

"Liz, don't do that crap," Bobby warns. "Sammy's fine. Look at the positive."

"You know I try," Lizzy answers back, the fear of all that could go wrong now more real than ever and always knocking at the door. "I just worry about his guy's future." She holds her stomach. "I just don't want him knowing about anything. I want him to have a better life. I want it all away from him."

"We're all working hard to make that happen," Bobby lightens it up. "And we're heading out tomorrow to go to Samuel's stockpile at the compound. Sam thinks he can find the library he has hidden there and he's confident there's an answer to killing Eve in it somewhere."

"I bet there's even biblical text up the ass in there too," Lizzy's eyes light up as she thinks about how helpful the place might be to her son's future. "We should ransack the place!"

"That's the plan. We're gonna be a few days thought. We'll research what we can while there and take everything else that might be of use. We're not leaving until we find an answer though."

"So I'll come with!" Lizzy says with obviousness.

"Noooo…"

"I can't come and read a bunch of books in a warded, super safe from all evil room with three, count 'em,  _three_  hunters!? And the best three hunters on the planet, might I add?" Lizzy questions with surprise. "Another set of eyes will make it go that much faster and I can't stay locked up in here much longer before I go insane. I'm coming."

"Dean won't let you," Bobby says in warning.

"And since when was he my keeper?" she asks with anger.

"I'm just saying you know how he gets. He won't want you along."

"And I'd like to see him try and stop me," she smiles and takes her time getting up.

"You still feeling alright?"

"Yes," Lizzy laughs a little. "Just really tired still."

"Rest up, then. No need to wake up at all if you don't want to."

"I will. Just gotta go talk to pops first," she says to him and pats him on the shoulder before heading to grab her coat.

Coat and boots on, Lizzy opens the door. She gets hit right in the face by the biting cold air of mid-winter but it doesn't deter her. From the top of the short set of stairs she can see her husband working away, his face in a scowl but it's not the same scowl she's seen far too much of this past year. It's the scowl of concentration, not fear and sorrow. This one is ok, welcomed even if it means he's focused on his Baby and not the terrors of their usual daily issues.

"Hey!" she calls over to Dean and he looks up instantly. His face lightens to see her standing there and they both suddenly know that it's back to normal, or at least their normal, and that everything will be just fine for at least the time being.

Dean jogs over to her, dropping his work in favor of family. "You ok?"

"You ever gonna stop asking that?" Lizzy lifts an eyebrow at him and holds her arms out when he moves in to hug her.

"Never," Dean answers back, hugging her tight despite the large stomach between them.

"I'm good, Dean. Back to normal," she answers into his neck in the embrace. "Please don't make yourself a wreck any more than you have to."

"When I'm dead I'll try that," he says to her. "And Sammy's still fine?"

"He's dancing on my bladder as we speak so yeah, I'd say he's just as good as ever," Lizzy explains with a laugh.

Dean pulls away from her to place his hands on her stomach, feeling the proof that Sammy is in fact still doing his thing and healthy as ever.

"God, you scared the shit outta me, L," Dean shakes his head when he lets himself finally enjoy the little solace he can find these days. As long as she's alive, as long as Sammy's on his way… Dean can deal with the rest. "Thought I was gonna lose at least one of you."

"Fuck that," Lizzy says, a smirk playing on her lips as she rubs the stubble on his jawline with her hand. "You know me by now. When do I ever give up?"

"Never."

"Damn straight."

"Just… don't get yourself into shitty situations like that anymore."

"Yeah, I'll do what I can," she sarcastically responds, knowing she couldn't have helped that if she tried.

"L, it's freezing out here. Let's get you inside," Dean suggests, opening the door to the house and nearly pushing her back in.

"Oh man, you're gonna be on overprotective mode until the day this kid drops, aren't you?"

"You bet your ass," Dean tells her, pushing her with a hand cupping her ass cheek just to prove it. "Inside. Now."

"I'm going, I'm going," Lizzy says, walking in with him following after.

"Ah, wait a second," Dean changes his mind suddenly and makes Lizzy turn to face him. "Uh… I owe you."

"Owe me…?" she asks as she watches Dean rolls his neck out and hops around a little bit from foot to foot.

"Come on," he says, gesturing towards himself as he gets prepared. "Even it out."

"Dean," she complains and rolls her eyes. "That was days ago. You apologized…"

"And after you slug me it'll be even," he assumes. "Come on, pussy. You know you want to."

She scoffs at him. "You want your pregnant wife to give you a black eye to feel better about yourself?"

"Yes," Dean says with certainty.

"You're fucking crazy."

"I know," he smiles.

And as soon as his face turns up in a grin, a fist comes flying fast at his face and wipes it right off.

He doubles over holding his face in his hands, forgetting how strong Lizzy is for a second there, and blinks the stars out of his vision.

"Bet you'll never talk to the mother of your child like that again now, huh?" Lizzy laughs lightly as she watches him try to recuperate.

"God, never. Fuck," Dean complains and stands upright, widening his eyes. "That's gonna be a bad one."

Lizzy bites back her grin. "Good."

"Alright,  _now_  you go inside," he says and opens the door for her, his other hand still holding his eye socket. "And I get some ice."

"While you do," Lizzy starts as she passes him. "I gotta tell you about a little road trip we need to make. To a library…"

* * *

_**THE END** _

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to leave a comment if you'd like, good or bad. I'm always happy to hear from readers and I'll always respond!


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